Reflections, what do you believe causes people to be transexual/transgender?

Oh, don't delete it. It's a valid point. In my case, my wife and I really have a platonic relationship...it's my daughter I care about.


If my wife and I reach an understanding, great. The main thing I want to postpone is *not* reaching that understanding and having her walk out with my daughter. The older she gets the more likely *she* will understand and have more input into her presence in my life.

The problem with "coming out" is there's no way to put that genie back in the bottle once it's out.

But, I really appreciate your concern. It's something I've been thinking about doing, and your input is valued.

 

well if the hrt is going to force your hand fairly soon, your wife may be less likely to react in a rash way, if she feels you where honest with her before you had to be, she may walk out if she feels you have been dishonest with her.
although sometimes these things are surprising, you may fiind out that she's already figured it out and was just waiting for you too tell her.
S

 

i don't think anything causes them to be transgender... i think they chose to be.

 

I disagree with that completely, transexual people don't choose it anymore than people choose their sexuality.
transexuals may make choices like to have surgery or not, but actually being transexual isn't a choice.
you didn't choose to be a woman, well neither does a male to female transexual choose to be born into a mans body
S

 

Growing up transsexual is a horrific experience. I've done it and it nearly killed me. Why would anyone choose that?

 

yeah I was going to say something along those lines, but being transgendered and not transexual, i thought it would be a bit of a judgement, but I'm glad someone made this point
S

 

Maybe im stupid...but ...isnt it verry close to what causes peole to be born Gay ??

I honestly believe it is related to brain chemicals...or genetics...is not a choice at all...no one would choose to live amongst the hate and ridicule.

 

I'm not sure the two are as closely related as all that. They spring from very different places.

Quite.

 

You're not stupid. What it comes down to though is that research 100% isn't certain of the cause. I'd say because of that, it's all speculation, which is why people should be open minded and understanding.

Please don't come up with the grand theory inductively or out of ignorance. I say ignorance because the idea of "choosing" to be transsexual is unrealistic. Ask me why I have spent $220+ a month on pills, plus more on clothing and such, and struggle with social acceptance, and face much more costly surgery? For fun? For attention? Give me a break. I can't think of a harder thing to go through... It's a situtation that pushes too many people to suicide.

 

Just a general comment that is probably repeating what SnowDancer and others touched upon;
No matter what the cause of transsexuality the fact is those of us in the vast spectrum of gender variance have always been around. It's interesting to speculate on the cause and se shouldn't stop doing so, but bottom line we don't need to identify that cause to justify our existence, we have always been part of the diversity of humanity and will continue to be so. There's the tired phrase of being 'trapped in the wrong body' but actually we are trapped in the wrong culture, other so called primitive cultures recognized us as normal to how life is and gave us respect and honor for what we could contribute. As Good Hands Woman said "think primitive".
http://www.gender.org.uk/conf/trilogy/winkte.htm

 

I try not to think of such things, but I just hope that I never am deceived by one, then again, I could probably tell.

 

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I just can't sit around and say it happened because of a choice.

Why would anybody want to suffer so much? I know some people do choose it, but they do it to make the real ones look bad. (I've seen it before.)

I believe a person is born with it.

 

As do I. I didnt choose to be gay, hell somedays I wish I wasnt, but then I remember that there never was a choice. I like who I am.
I have dated transgendered women(all preop-which made it hotter) but I dont think it was mental, I think it was physical.

 

No way is it a choice. I'd give anything just to feel like a 'normal' person. I don't even particularly care what gender it is. Just for one day i'd love to know what it feels like to be an ordinary person, and not the freak that i feel i am.

Of course there are people that choose to change their bodies, for whatever reason. And while i really have nothing against those people, it does give off the impression that for everyone it's a choice. Changing your body, yes, that is a choice. But feeling trapped in the wrong body? No, i never chose that. And i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I really cant imagine a more horrible feeling in the world. Nobody would choose to feel so miserable, you'd have to be insane to do that. I know for a fact i was born like this, as ive always felt i was female, even from being a small child.

 

Without wishing to sound completely politically incorrect, im sure lots of people in my position, (And me also) would rather have been aborted than to be brought into this world with such a horrible condition.

I am in no way speaking for everyone here, but for me personally i would much rather have not been born at all than have to suffer this nightmarish existence.

Also, if the parents where open minded, and allowed the child to be born, something could be done about it a lot earlier. Like preventing the child from having to go through the nightmare of irreversable puberty.

I can only see being able to tell if a child is transsexual before birth as being a good thing. The unnecessary suffering of the individual would be prevented either way.