Hi all, I just realized that I haven't dated anyone but my ex-wife in almost 10 years. I'm not old (39), but the thought of getting back out there is a little odd considering the shift in technology. I've never been a bar guy, so I guess the internet is going to be my pool. I also realize that this might not be the right forum, but it's the closest one that I found. The truth is that while it's enticing to go out and sew my seed, I'd really like to find an emotionally damaged chick that loves life and settle back down. That's probably a terrible statement, but I do want to find someone that is comfortable in her own skin and desires intimacy. The ex was, I believe, depressed and distant. Plus, she had no hobbies. For those of you that think watching TV is a hobby, think again. Boring. I'm a strange cocktail of intellect and action. Valedictorian, accomplished athlete, aircraft pilot, etc. On top of all that, I'd like to think I am a pretty good guy. Looking at this post, I'm really not sure what this is about. Advice, maybe, about how to proceed. Skip the crushing replies about just sacking up and getting out there. Where do I start? -C
You need to determine what it is you want, friends, a companion, a FB or to have fun. Believe me all of the above are vastly different, and all can be attained at the same time.
the internet isn't a pool of opportunity to get laid...it is a cesspool of opportunity to get laid....you aren't tech savy but are turning to the internet?....bad start...the good ones are home watching tv
I am not a bar guy either, but if you are looking to get laid, you have better chances there than on the Internet.
WHy do you want an emotionally damaged girl? I'm damaged (aren't we all) and the last thing I need is a relationship before I get my life back in order
How recent is your divorce? It is interesting out there, I will say that. I was married 15 years and filed last week for divorce (we have been separated since Oct. 2013). You might not want sow your seed..but now is the time to see what you want. Deal breakers/mist haves. Where do you live?? Lol
When my Ex first left.... I tried the internet. Don't go to the major online dating sites, dude. They're loaded with scammers. They aren't even very intelligent scammers. What they all want is your private info and any money they can scam from you with their sob stories. People are NOT what they appear to be no matter where you go on the internet but those dating sites have to be the worst. I'll also tell you what friends told me when this first happened to me. Don't do anything. Give yourself time to heal and get used to being alone. You may find, as I eventually did, that being alone is highly preferable to jumping into a toxic relationship. You may even find that you like being single.
Interesting. A lot of different perspectives. I actually am starting to think, after reading all of this, that maybe being alone for a bit and figuring stuff out is a decent idea. Blu3sLady made a lot of sense. I have been alone for 1.5 years, but it's different. I spent the entire time angry at something/someone. Angry at her for making the separation agreement so difficult (Alimony for a 2.5 year marriage when she gave up nothing?), angry at MD for making me waste a year of my life being separated before I could get a divorce (only to have them change that law the month after that year was up), angry at just about everything. And it's only been 3 weeks since it was final. I never said I wasn't tech savvy; tech is just used differently in today's dating world. It's not only acceptable, it's the preferred method, it seems. shygurl170, you cracked me up! I appreciate your perspectives and advice!
I'm not a bar guy either so I was on a dating site. Had a few lunch dates, few evening dates, a couple short relationships. I liked it. You get to meet all kinds of people some good some bad but that's the way it is anyhow. You just have to use your own judgment with them.
So glad I can make you laugh! The online scammers are nuts! I learned the hard way (person must have thought I had money--ha ha). One thing I have done is joined a support group for divorce/separation. I have done a few soi al events with the group. Not a hook up/dating setting. I have New Years dinner event and then a house party. I am ready for 2016.
Sorry for the long response time. If you think that the good ones are at home watching TV, I'll give you my ex's number. Sounds like we have a different definition of what boring is. For the tech part, refer to the other responses.
