Really Need Help :(

Hello everyone.

I have been with my sweetheart for 2 years now. We bet online, we were talking for 1 year texting and video cam and it was amazing felt amazing connection. Then i moved to a place next to her town looking for job there and she was visiting, to see if in reality we would be as great as, and it was as great. I felt and still feel she is the one for me, the love of my life. The good thing is that we always felt the same way, we grew our feelings together she loves me as much as i do.

After 6 months we moved together and we have fun and so much in common. As all couples though we have problems. We rarely fight and that's good and we are comfortable with each other, but maybe too comfortable. (and i don't know why too comfortable is bad). Also we have never lied to each other about anything and we tell each other everything. Because even if something might hurt the other person, its better than keeping secrets that are ruining our lives. So far this works great and we have a true and sincere relationship.

The problem is that its both our first relationship so we don't know how to do stuff right so i feel that we will end up breaking up. We don't know how to be romantic with each other and even though i try to compliment her, she never accepts them because she thinks she is not attractive enough but i keep telling her stuff and i believe them.

The biggest problem is sex. We never had proper sex because it is always hurting after a while, so every time we have i just let her go her pace until in like 5 minutes that it starts hurting. We prepare before and we make sure that she is ready to have. But by now i think i made sex for her a hurtful experience in her mind. We are masturbating separately but we are open with that and whenever i try to pleasure he with the mouth and she never feels that good and i end up with a hurting jaw, she also never puts finger inside just rubs clitoris, it even hurts her to put 2 fingers inside even alone.

Even though i have done a lot of research and tried many stuff can't find solution. We don't want to get experience after we break up and we just appreciate what we have right now. It drives me crazy that nothing is working.

She now told me that she doesn't feel that sexually attracted to me as she used to (she says its not me or some change on me) but she still loves me very much and wants to find solution because she doesn't want to loose me. And i feel the same way like the spark is going away because we don't work that hard in our relationship and just have fun doing stuff together. We need to find a way to bring the spark back because without sex its really hard and we never really had the real spark. Just many failed attempts. We always use condoms and when we use lube it just burns her a lot.

We don't have experience so she doesn't know how to seduce me (and she thinks its silly) and even if i know stuff . She doesn't even bother to shave now for me only for when we go out clubbing because as i said we are maybe too comfortable.

Please help me I am going crazy, i love her more than anything and she loves me too very much and it would be such a waste. I am sure i won't find the same connection with another person, and i don't want to. But our inexperience is going to eventually ruin us.

Do you guys think that her hymen is still intact? Because even from the first time (and always) i was always going at her pace slowly so i wont hurt her so we never really had fast or hard sex.

 

So Instead Of The Both Of You Seeing A Sex Counseller You Chose To

Join A Hippie Website In The Hope We Could Solve Your Problems......



Cheers Glen.

 

ahahha

Well we are young so it is not that easy to do that.

 

I personally think she should try to gradually stretch her vagina by slowly putting bigger things inside. And by slowly, I means over the course of weeks, months, that kind of thing. Maybe not that long if she can get used to it faster obviously, but it's always good to go really slow and see how she does. I think it'll benefit her in the long-run, even if she doesn't feel like putting that much effort into it right now due to its being a time consuming process.

You could help her too, but I think it's probably better if she started off just doing it by herself to get the hang of the whole thing first. That's how I'd go about it if I were in your situation.

All the best,
::TheAT::

 

She should go see a Gynecologist and explain the issues she is having.

 

Does the vagina actually stretch with more sex? She read somewhere that it just goes back go normal and it is like she hadn't had sex.

 

The kind of stretching I'm talking about is for her to get used to having something as big as an erect penis inside her. Yes, a vagina goes back to its initial state afterward, but that's a natural thing. I'm only suggesting that she get more comfortable with the idea of penetration, both physically and psychologically, and starting it off with something small like one finger then gradually working her way up until she can comfortably insert the size of your penis would be a method that she might be interested in exercising.

 

No, it does not. Vaginal musculature is elastic, and resumes its normal size and shape, both after sexual intercourse as well as childbirth.

Trying to stretch it like Alternative Thinker said is ridiculous.

Your girlfriend need to go see a Gynecologist, there are issues a woman can have that causes pain during intercourse.

 

I see.. Thank you everyone i really appreciate it!

 

its over dude.....respectfully break up with this girl and find another.....your life will just be torturous as long as you stay with her



and asking for opinions on a hippie site is just fine so please ignore any dumbass says different

 

No problem. Another thing, does she lubricate well?

@ Pieceofmyheart - If I said vagina would STAY loose after stretching, then I agree, I'd be ridiculous, lol. But fortunately that's not exactly what I meant. I suppose I could have been more clear on that, perhaps.

 

How can it be over if it didnt even start? If she has a physical or mental problem that can be resolved and eventually we can have normal sex (because we never actually did) the feelings wil come. Its natural if i dont give her pleasure to loose sexual attraction eventually isnt it?

 

he is asking for opinions and advice here....why is that wrong?......some of the members here are professionals....many are university grads with extensive knowledge.....don't sell us short......besides....someday some poor soul will need to deal with a bunch of sheep shit and we both know who the expert on that subject is

 

Yeah she lubricates well i make her really hot every time. But the sex is the problem :/

 

just my opinion......good luck

 

The 10,000th i married the virginal girl next door type, why isnt she a whore in the bedroom thread

 

Please encourage her to see a Gynecologist. There really are several physical issues that cause pain during intercourse. But, no...her hymen is not intact.
If you are large and she is a petite woman sometimes you can actually hit her cervix and that is painful. But it doesn't sound like that since she is uncomfortable with fingers also.

Is she on birth control?

 

In that case, at least part of might be psychological, that she might have some sort of hang up where penetration is concerned. You've said she never puts her finger inside(when she masturbate, I presume?). This might be an indication, although I don't know her so it's difficult to tell. I certainly don't want to jump to conclusions, but I still think she should become more comfortable with the idea of penetration. Like I said, it's not just to get her vagina used to it in a physical sense but to get her psychological self be more comfortable with the whole idea as well. That's why I'm saying this should be done gradually over the course of weeks to months.

 

Lots of women do not use any penetration when masturbating.

 

Piece, no birth control. She says it doesn't hurt on the inside just the opening hurts, and even with lube it hurts and its burning her.