Hi, for the past 2 years my partner has had a problem with intercourse/foreplay when she gets excited and starts to enjoy what we are doing, she gets very bad pains all around her vagina not just inside but i cant make any contact to her area without her being in pain. She says its like razor blades and stabbing all around her Vagina and inside. Ive asked her about has she contacted a GP or sexual advise person but she doesn't want to talk to anyone about the problem. It's taken 2 years for her to tell me as i knew there was a problem but not this bad, as because she gets pain we only have intercourse once a month and that doesn't last long as she gets pain and has to stop, so we end up not getting intimate at all. it's got so bad that i asked her about what her thoughts are on me getting a sexual toy for me to relive myself as she thinks its disgusting pleasuring me orally or by hand, so i have to relieve myself. She doesn't like the idea of me using a sexual toy, and that's when i found out about her pains shes getting. I asked her to see a GP etc.. but she not o as doesn't want to talk to someone about her problem. I'm now in a really bad place as i have no idea on what to do now. Does anyone know of anything about her pains as these pains only arrive when shes getting excited even if im only giving her oral and not actually penetrating her she gets these pains and then that's it we have to stop. Any advise would be much appreciated...
You said partner, not spouse. Honestly there's a big part of me that wants to say just ditch her... Seriously life is too short to play out an unfulfilling relationship, unless there are other factors such as kids or something huge involved such that you need to take a harder look at things. Cause here's what will happen, years will go by, you'll be miserable, have regrets and feel like you missed out on life and resent her for it, it's no good... Plus the kicker IMHO is it doesn't sound like she has any interest in exploring the problem, finding a solution, or acknowledging the fact that you have needs yourself. So now that I got that off my chest, I think it's a case of her not producing enough natural lubricant such that she's dry, raw and overly sensitive. She can get creams and things for this which may help some, but again she has to go see her OB first to get evaluated and potentially get some advise / prescriptions / whatever... But again she has to be willing to take that step, you can't do it for her. So in the end if she's not willing to do anything about it then the only option you have left is if this relationship is worth investing into. Sure breaking up, being alone and starting over sucks, but again life is too short to endure misery. I'll leave you with this - Wise man say you can't make chicken soup out of chicken shit, no matter how much you stir
