random venting about current relationship.

I really, really, really hope you don't spawn any children. EVER.
It's the man's responsibility. He knew there was a risk. He decided to have sex aswell. He needs to take responsibility.

 

some of these things being argued are so off topic and SO ridiculous i don't even know where to begin responding.....

again, i WAS on birth control. you have no basis to say that i wasn't or that i was lying about it. i am HAPPY that my son is here. but i am sorry that i am not a robot and i have feelings and i expect certain things from certain people. not that it matters, i didn't know this guy was an asshole when i got pregnant. i trusted him. now, obviously i don't. i don't know why this has become an argument about blaming me or blaming him. regardless of anything that has happened, my child DESERVES a father who is there for him and who takes responsibility for his actions. he probably won't get that, and yeah maybe i should have known not to let him back in our lives and i shouldn't have trusted any of the bullshit he fed me, but i did what i thought was best at the time.

seriously, take a look at my gallery and look at my baby. how can any guy not want to be there? it just blows my mind. and yes he is the father, he even signed the birth certificate.

 

saltydog: My sister has two sons from two different men. But she was able to raise them well because her family was there to help: me, my brother, my other sister, and my parents. OUr dad has been an excellent father figure to both these boys. The older one has just graduated from high school and is preparing for college. The younger one is about to step into high school.

My point is: like my nephews, your child has you and your family, including both sets of grandparents. While it is true that he deserves a father who will be there for him, he still has the love of all these people, which can minimize any negative effects of not having a dad. If you really want to break up with him, then go ahead. He doesn't have to be there. He can visit your son if he likes, but that's all. So he's free to do what he wants, and you're free to focus on caring for your son.

Hope this helps.

 

everyone is aware. calm down

regardless, this guy has a responsibility to this baby. it really isnt about what she did wrong or he did wrong...its more about what needs to be done right - and that would be the guy being there for his son

 

and to add to that - my mother had my brother and i terribly young by two different men. she was was homeless at 15, living on the streets in a big city, and not allowed to talk to anyone in her family and guess what? she got her shit together and raised us both right. of course she made mistakes - she was still a child herself when we very young, she pretty much had to grow up with us. she did a hell of a job raising us depsite being married to an abusive drugaddict asshole for 12 years (her and my stepdad divorced when i was 12 or 13) and im thankful to have one parent who is there. it doesnt matter what you start off with - my mom started off with nothing but the clothes on her back and shes managed to raise two adults. she got her GED, graduated from one of the top womens colleges in country, and shes finishing hers Masters degree this summer. My older brother and I are both full time college students. My brother and I were both unexpected but were both happy to be here

 

calm down, ok the point of the thread is that she doesn't know how to cope with the fact that the baby's daddy treats them both like shit. don't have him around. like someone else said let the courts take care of his financial responsibility and she and her friends and family can take care of the emotional responsibility of raising the child.i would rather have an absent father than a father i saw abusing and mistreating my momma. the reason everyone got up in a tizzy was becasue she acted in her posts as if she were surprised by the boyfriends behavior.

 

no the point of this thread was for her to release some steam and found out how to unattach herself from this guy - not to cope with the fact the guy is an asshole..she knows that. she wants to know how to get him out of her head - not cope

 

everyone always has their little stories of struggles but the point is people should actually get to know who they're engaging in sexual relationships with.i am so fuckin sick of people being shocked that the babys daddy or mommy not being responsible. my mom too has 3 kids by 2 differnet daddys and it still bothers me to this day that my brother who is 21 struggles with the fact that he has no dad. so at what point do we stop just fucking and start actually getiing to know who we are fucking?and u know it still doesn't make sense to methat if you don't care about getiing pregnant why use birth control??the PILL is to control birth not disease.

 

don't have him come around!!it should be easy to do he's an assclown!

 

AHHHH! i never said i was suprised by his behaviour!!

 

everyone read that.

 

i did actually get to know him. at least i thought i knew him. however, he was deceitful. i did not figure this out until AFTER i got pregnant.

i used birth control to try and not get pregnant but i did anyways. just because a person uses birth control doesn't mean they won't have the baby if they get pregnant. what is so hard to understand about this????????????

 

how long did u know him for. in the time that you knew him you couldn't fugure out by his actions(because u know actions speak louder than words)that he was deceitful. but u didn't want to get pregnant, that"s why your taking birth control. if u wanted a baby why take the pill?

 

remeber this is a forum and when u post something you cannot expect for everyone to be on your side, i am quite sure we can agree on this, your baby's daddy is immature and an asshole and hopefully you as the mommy will not expose the child to his behavior. he (the daddy)may come around someday but until then take control of you and your son's life and don't let the bastard control, deceit and abuse you , or your children .young children are very receptive to negative vibes as well as loving vibes and at this point all you need is love.

 

I agree! Well said, mlee27

Love to you and your son, saltydog!

 

i did NOT plan to get pregnant. i took the pill to avoid this from happening. however, in the event that i did get pregnant (which obviously i did) i would keep the baby. i didn't try to get pregnant. i tried to avoid that from happening. but it did happen and i am happy that it did because i could not imagine my life without my son.

i know now that i shouldn't believe anything he says. i know i have made mistakes. as far as the baby daddy goes, i am trying to do the best i can with a difficult situation.

 

i agree with you as well. i am doing my best to make sure that he isn't exposed to any sort of abuse. or witness to it. i grew up in a very loving cohesive family. i had very good role models. that is why i don't understand why i have let him treat me the way he does. the only thing i want is for my son to grow up a loving, kind, happy person. right now, he is only 3 months old and i realize that he will soon be more aware of everything going on. i want to be a strong mother for him and protect him from any of this.

 

Saltydog, all that's in the past now. What's done is done. Blessings to you and your son. I realize the pregnancy wasn't planned, and I applaud you for stepping up and being an adult about it, and making the best out of difficult times. It sounds like you're going to be a great mother. I wish you and your son much joy.

 

thats what i think everyone that posted on this thread was hoping you would say, hey listen i would give anything to have a baby but so far i have not been blessed. i saw my mom go through what your going through and it hurt a lot to see my baby brother struggle with his identity and ect..he still has not met or had a rlationship with his father and he turned out to be a wonderful man in his own right. stay strong . you have recognized that you have been letting him control and treat you badly and now that you have recognized it it should be a little easier for you to stop the abuse. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

 

shit i woulda bailed on this obnoxiously whiney bitch too.