random venting about current relationship.

Saltydog, I think it's wonderful your son has the love of his grandparents and his extended family. I'm glad you both have that love to lean on.

I regret to say that I think you're making one last huge mistake. Instead of you having a thread reading "random venting about current relationship", the thread I'd like to see you posting to is "random venting about FORMER relationship"!

 

You say "donate some sperm", the courts say "fathered a child" . Po-tay-to, po-tah-to, to-may-to, to-mah-to...

 

yeah well he also knew the risks of having sex wit me. he knew going into this relationship that if by chance i did get pregnant i would not abort and he still chose to have sex. their is never a guarantee is going to have an abortion if she gets pregnant. i don't think just because i chose to have the baby as opposed to not having the baby that he should not have to be responsible for his son. that is bullshit.

 

abstinence is 100 percent protection, and u said in your second post that he has changed and he's starting to come around and why now do u believe him? oh yeah maybe your still in love with him. you should have known he didn't love you when he told you to abort the baby or better yet when he continuously told you for what ?8 months that he hated you.he never loved u and u know it youare still making excuses for him.U SAID U USED PROTECTION, IS THAT WHAT U TOLD HIM BECAUSE IF HE WAS THAT BLATANT ABOUT WANTING YOU TO ABORT DO U THINK HE WOULD RISK FUCKING YOU IF WITHOUT PROTECTION?? AND EXACTLY WHAT KIND OF PROTECTION DID U USE, IWANT TO MAKE SURE I D ON'T USE THE SAME PRODUCT OR METHOD.

 

wow. why don't you get all up in my face.

have you ever heard of birth control not being 100%?????

 

this guy knew from the very beginning that if she were to get pregnant she wouldnt have an abortion. he knew that before they had sex. and now he decides he cant handle it and bail...pretty much thinks he can get away scot free and not be held responsible.

if he wasnt ready for a kid he shouldve thought twice and listened to her when she said she wouldnt have in abortion if she got pregnant.

 

why do you even care if i chose to have the child? i didn't write this post to see if people thought i should have aborted or not. and for you to suggest that abortion and using birth control are essentially the same is so ridiculous. having an abortion is very different from using birth control. and here you go again ASSUMING that just because i was using birth control means that i wouldn't want a child if i happened to get pregnant. plenty of people use birth control yet know that if they did get pregnant they would keep the child. i knew i would. and he knew i would. sometimes these things happen. i don't need somebody giving me shit because i chose not to abort and i shouldn't have the right to expect anything from the father of my baby because he at one point told me to abort.

this isn't about aborting vs. not aborting. it's about me trying to figure out how to deal with the asshole that is now my babys father. get over the fact that i chose to have my baby. my child is here. and is loved. and you can give me all the percentage statistics you want. blah blah blah. you weren't there you don't know what i was and wasn't using. and i NEVER said i didn't want my baby. i am happy he is here.

and you know what you all can call me weak and blame me or whatever you want, but you aren't in my shoes and you have no place to judge me.

 

and how would you know if she took her pill as instructed? you need to stfu on that one man. The pill works differently with everyone..period. Its effectiveness depends on a lot of things. I know in my family just about every woman on the pill got pregnant while taking it the way they were supposed to

who knows abortion could be against her beliefs. its really easy to say you would get an abortion if you got pregnant - but once you actually do get pregnant..a lot of things change and suddenly everythings different (for a lot of women atleast). you dont and will never know what that experience is like dont judge

She is taking responsibility - Shes being a mother

omg you would be surprised at how many women are on the pill to do their best to avoid getting pregnant but wouldnt chose to abort in the even they did get pregnant.

 

"i would just like for once to see a woman take responsibility for getting herself pregnant. and personally i think the op is full of crap. she was using protection yet said she wouldn't abort if she got pregnant? what kinda crap is that? i don't buy it. i think there's a lot of dishonesty coming from her."

i am not really sure where you are getting some of this stuff. i DO take responsibility for getting pregnant. how am i not taking responsibilty? i am taking care of my son 24/7. but i also feel that he should also take some of that responisibilty. i don't know why he should get off? i was prepared to let him be but then HE came back into MY life and begged to be a family.

what was i dishonest about? i mean, you know since you know EVERYTHING about my situation.

 

he thinks he knows what hes talking about but really doesnt have a clue...

 

Well I'm with ya saltydog... it took TWO people to create this baby. And while not planned for, the lil one is loved & wanted now. Just as BOTH parents were party to the making of the baby, BOTH should be responsible for their upbringing.


"Mistakes" happen. People who are adult enough to make the decision to have sex, need to be adult enough to step up to the plate if things don't go the way they'd planned. (which I feel you are) And if he knew your stance on abortion to begin with, then... well I'd say it's too late to decide he shouldn't have gone there.

Hon, I'd be very leery of him both now & in the future. Some men do "come around" and turn out to be awesome parents once they meet their child for the first time... but they're the exception, not the rule. Decide if you can raise your lil one without his (financial) help now. If you can, more power to you. But if you can't, don't be afraid to talk to someone... because he CAN be made to help!
love,
mom

 

Everyone here knows the available forms of contraceptive....and so does Saltydog - if she wanted to use the morning after pill or something like that she wouldve ----- so whats your point?

AHHHH but what makes the BIGGEST difference is that the guy KNEW that from the get go. He knew she wouldnt abort before they had sex. understand? he knew what would happen if she got pregnant

You should be surprised at how many men have sex with someone just to get a nut KNOWING that the girl would never have an abortion then tries to bail out like some punk ass bitch

If you would read her posts, shes not crying about it - she knows the guy is a dick and asked how she can unattach herself to him. try reading

complaining? HA its called venting - she was letting out steam while asking for advice..something that is perfectly healthy

 

I USED PROTECTION. i don't know if you just aren't reading what i wrote or what. i don't know how many times i need to say it. i was on the pill. i did my part what about him using contraception. he could have certainly done more to prevent the pregnancy.

and i didn't mess up anyone's life. like i said this wasn't meant to be a debate on whether or not i should have had the baby or not. i was venting. i am only human and i am allowed to do that. and if i want to complain or vent or whine or bitch or moan i am also allowed to do that. even if i never used any sort of birth control i still have the right to respect from him.

 

the guy knew having sex could potentially "mess up" his life - thats his fault

from what ive read...her life isnt messed up. she said she is happy to have her son. thats love. it sounds like that kid is going to grow up with a loving mother and family which a lot of people arent lucky enough to have.

i say good for you saltydog

 

thanks kjhippie i appreciate your support

 

THANK YOU SHE KNEW HE WAS AN ASSHOLE AND HE KNEW SHE WOULDN'T ABORT SO WHY DID U HAVE SEX IN THE FIRST PLACE GET A DILDO. you said u never trusted him to begin with then why did you trust that he would be there for you and his baby?

 

yeah and she should have thought twice when she realized that he wasn't "so great"

 

you use birth control ahh let's see, for controlling birth!!!!!

 

He doesn't have to work. He can either come up with the money or go to prison.
I AM a mother and a damn fine one at that.

No, contraceptives are NOT 100%. No matter how you look at it. Nothing, but not having sex is 100%. I really hope you're not THAT ignorant.
Morning after pill....gee, that REALLY wreaks havoc on ones body and it's STILL not 100%.
Some women are allergic to spermicides.
I was that .01% that got pregnant on birth control. Why can't she be? Until you're a woman and you understand things, don't throw any of that up into her face.
You're obviously not intelligent when it comes to sex or birth control. Don't have sex.

Someone asked me that once. My response? Because I was using it to protect myself against becoming pregnant. I knew there was a chance and I was fully ready to take care of a baby should it come along. I decided to play, so I'd take care of anything that happened.
I'm glad I didn't abort. I'm glad I didn't give Alexis up for adoption. She's a great girl and I'm a great mom.

Women don't get themselves pregnant, moron. Men and women get pregnant together.
I think you're an immature KID that doesn't need to put in an opinion when you know nothing about the topic.

 

No one's life is messed up.
Babies don't mess up people's lives. Shitty daddy's do.