eh, yeah... hmm... a lot of rambling, a lot of life, a lot of meaning, a lot of meaninglessness... http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Neil-Young/Falling-From-Above.html http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Neil-Young/Bandit.html
I was stalking you when you wrote this. Now I know what took you so long. Sorry... I confess I still stalk you every now and then. Now... Give me a second to read it.
You know, I was thinking about how I missed my hometown today...and then I remembered how it's seated right in the middle of the only county in NJ that is led by Republican incumbents.
i wish i knew what to tell you little buddy chickenfucker... i saw a lot of things you may not have even seen about yourself just reading that, maybe you would see them as well if you re-read it and were just honest with yourself? or if you were just honest in yourself in general? what do you truely want out of life? and whats stopping you from making it happen, for you or your family? ive played the peacekeeper before, and no one should have to, but its rewarding to shut everyone the fuck up and have them happy, and know you solved a problem, fuck most of your problems are totally self-created, in fact i might even say they all are, but then you guys would probably throw me in the asylum with the guy who told everyone he was god... the only real answer thats stopping you from doing anything is yourself, because like you said everything is what we make of it, so make something beautiful, why wouldnt we? its an empty canvas, and you do have a canvas, and the tools for painting. accept the bullshit for what it is, and realize that you arent apart of it, and turn the bullshit into good shit. and accept stuff, and work with stuff, because thats all we can do. just let go and watch the entire thing unfold around you with aw. ill leave you with a zen koan... what is lacking in this moment?
I'm really glad you realize you need to get out. Dat iz good. I worry about you. You think about your problems way too much. From what you've told me, you've seen a lot of tragedy in your life, with your friends... that's life, you have to learn to cope somehow... or at least not focus on these things so much, because when you do, they only bring you down. You could use siblings. OMG, write on walls, Gee-orge. Ahaha... yesterday (or the day before... I'm losing track of time) I drew on my bedroom walls with eyeliner. I wrote a poem on the wall. And I wrote the word, "WHAAAT???" on my mirror in pale, trailer-park-trash-style lipstick. Find something that washes off and do it, because it feels grand like a mothafucka. Paper gets annoying to me too. I never write all my shit in the same notebook, for some reason, they're alwasys scattered. I HATE when fucking spirals pages tear, and I HAtE that stupid "look gow cute and pretty" writing people, (mostly chicks) write it. I know how it feels to be called crazy and sent to guidence counselors. People are just asshats, that's all. Ahaha... I'm in gifted classes too.... ahaha, and people never believe me when I tell them that... which is kinda depressing, but whatever. The first time I saw Bob Dylan was when my stepdad handed me his copy of "highway 61 Revisited" and said, "this is good stuff". And I didn't listen to that album until I saw Dylan on the telly, the music video for Subterrainean Homesick Blues... and went, "oh, maybe that would be cool"... ahaha... It's cool how you connect with Neil Young, and I loved your cover of Heart of Gold... secretly I listen to that on a daily basis... ahaha... I care about myself more than others. Because... in all honestly, George, I do not view myself as human. Lots of things make us go "What the fuck" ahaha... by the way.... near the top of the second post, and I'm fascinated so far... What on Earth are you talking about? How exactly do you want to live? What's holding you back? No, there is no point to anything besides what you make of it. Okay...
Nothing is holding me back... Well, I could really do anything I wanted... it's only... well, sometimes I can't stand it when people say "THE SYSTEM DOES THIS AND THAT!!!"... I can't stand even saying "The system", but... it's a system of laws I must abide and people don't realize how many loopholes and contradictions there are with old laws and new laws and laws that override other laws... How come criminals get to live in a jail and have meals and work and do all of these things when there's homeless people who may have done nothing? I mean... I'm sure there's been homeless people who have committed crimes just to get these things... then again... What about people in places like somalia or ethiopia. Nobody really has a choice and shit really does happen. what the fuck.
I really just want to live without all these ignorant little things that I don't need... I mean... I just want to make do with what I have and not argue over something that I want or have because I wanted it... I mean... shit gets out of hand... And structure. Media, corporations, gov't, education... it's just so... "seeing eye"... All that I need is the air that I breathe and all that I need are the things I don't need...
Hmm... I really do love Dylan a lot... I like his thinking. But, I don't connect... well, I do, but not like a lot of Neil's stuff... I don't know why. There's a lot of energy behind it, and I must admit, there are songs I just cannnot stand.
ahaha... I understand. Neil is very fitting on you you two would make a cute couple. I was just curious as to where your train of thought was going, is all... but it's hard to follow other people's thoughts, you know? There are lots of laws that are pointless or out-dated, but they aren't really enforced, so it's not a huge deal. Don't assume criminals have it easy. It's a disgusting, hard life. Although I would rather see our government supporting the homeless than supporting criminals, however... what else is there to do? If we're going to use jail/prison time as a punishment, then we can't just let them starve, freeze to death etc. Life isn't always fair. You're still young. If you still have these feelings in a couple years, you can get out and away and life a life as simple as you desire. Until then... welcome to puberty, bee-itch.
I'm not saying criminals have it easy... but I mean that how in the hell do they give people a place to stay and food to eat that committed crimes when there's people who have done nothing and are dying because they have nowhere to stay... I understand that life isn't always fair... but what in the hell does one do about that. I actually hung out with a homeless guy one day... I just decided to leave the house while my parents were working and then I started talking to him and just lived homeless for a day... Then again, you can't just expect people to give you something, though it is nice when you need it... I reallyyyyyyy don't want a life as simple as I desire. I can deal. I just wish to help someone who needs it and fulfill wanting to just get out of here...
