Questions from a wanting to be mama

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by crazyfairie, Aug 29, 2005.

  1. crazyfairie

    crazyfairie Member

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    This is a very personal question, and actually pretty anal of me (which is normal) but I really want to have a child. Neither my husband or I have any insurance, and I'm wondering how to go about it. We are actively trying at this point. I truly am ready to have a child, but I worry so much about these trivial little things. Am I just being paranoid. I know that I will be able to take care of my little love, just the lack of monetary funds makes me feel inadequate about the whole parenting thing. I was just wondering if anyone has had the the same questions, and maybe someone could give me a little insight. Consoling if you will. It would really make me feel better. Does it just make me a horrible person that the only real worry that I have is money. I feel like a sellout. Your feedback would be wonderful. Thank you *hugs*
     
  2. icedteapriestess

    icedteapriestess linguistic freak

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    I don't think it makes you a "sellout" to want to have some financial and medical security when it comes to having kids. I want the same thing... I won't have kids until my hubby and I are settled and financially secure.

    Why? Because things have a way of happening with kids... they get sick, or get hurt, and they also have a habit of costing money. I want to be able to let my kids do the things they want to do, from hockey to ballet to science camp... whatever it is. I don't want to have to limit the things available to my kids due to financal restraints.

    That being said.. my mother has money. She is not the best parent. My grandmother (who actually raised me) was broke, but she was the best parent ever. So money doesn't make you a more loving or kind or supportive... it just allows you to by them that book they want. My mom gave gifts, my grandma gave kisses... and guess which was worth more?
     
  3. annabegins

    annabegins Member

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    I'm with you on that last part. Money doesnt make that much of a difference, except the child will have nicer clothes and toys. But you can get good name brand clothes at thrift stores and garage sales, cus they dont need them for very long, everyone's giving up like-new baby clothes. And you get so much from friends and family hand downs (if you have any with kids) who are just dying to get rid of their swings and stuff, and the government will give your child insurance if you dont have any. What I think costs the most are all the diapers and formula that you would have to buy. (I got a deal where i dont have to pay for either) They go through those FAST. Really, money is not an issue. And its going to be a long time till they would want to go to science camp or whatever. That gives you plenty of time to save up alittle each month now. Who knows, they might not want to do anything like that.
     
  4. Kastenfrosch

    Kastenfrosch Blaubeerkuchen!! Lifetime Supporter

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    And you can certainly save money by breastfeeding and clothdiapering, if you feel comfy with that. And you shouldn't buy everything your kids want anyway... ;-) We were four kids at home, and that keeps parents a lot from buying anyone everything they want, and I am glad that this was the case in my childhood. Cause I know some spoiled ones that got everything they wanted, expensive cloth, expensive toys everything.
     
  5. FunkyPhreshMama

    FunkyPhreshMama Visitor

    if you qualify you and the baby can get on medicaid. or you can go to the helath department, my kids used to go there for free when i didnt have insurance...
     
  6. daisymae

    daisymae Senior Member

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    We have 2 children and live on one income. We are not rich, but we do just fine. There are hundreds of little ways to save your money. If you have access to a library, I recommend The Tightwad Gazette series, and Miserly Moms. These were written by mothers who wanted to stay home with their kids.
     
  7. sugrmag

    sugrmag Uber Nerd

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    Same here, Daisy. Two kids-one income. We get by just fine. We do get food stamp, though.


    I was on medicaid for both pregnancies-and the kids were on medicaid until I got insurance from work.

    Honestly, babies do not need a whole lotta stuff. Newborns don't need any kind of toys nor do they need fancy clothes.
    Definitely go cloth vs. disposable. I calculated the cost difference on a diapering thread, and you will literally save thousands. Breastfeeding will save tons of money too, plus it is the very best nutrition for your babe. Thrift stores are definitely the way to go for clothing, too. The only thing I really spend money on is shoes. Except when I find a brand new pair of New Balances for my 6yo at a yard sale for a dollar!

    Really, if you are waiting until you are "ready" in one way or another, you will always think of something that you need to "wait" for. Not trying to push you to get preggo-but it is definitely doable.
     
  8. melonhead

    melonhead Member

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    i am dying to have babies, but bf and i just started college again. i feel like if i wait too much longer, i'm gonna be too old (i know i won't, but i want a few, so i wanna start SOON!). we can't both work and go to school and have a baby, so we have to wait till at least one of us is done with school. where i live, it's impossible to live on one income, even withOUT a child.

    so, i silently read this forum, and look at pics of everyones beautiful babies. and log all your advice in the back of my head for one day, when i'll need it.

    but, crazyfairie, everyone keeps telling me, "you'll never be financially 'ready', so just do it." and i know a few people who said they followed that advice, and now i have a couple of awesome little 2- and 3-year-old friends.
    so, just do it. then i can look at your posted pics and be envious. :p
    (just kidding, i'm happy for all the proud mamas and papas on here!)

    good luck.
    peace.
    LP
     
  9. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

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    you know, when my husband and i got married, we had tons of money and financial security. he was an investment counselor. then 9/11, and the gravy train went up in flames. so here i was, pregnant, on bedrest, living on ramen noodles and milk, while my husband desperately searched for a job. he found one for $13 an hour!! we had a $900 housepayment, $700 truck payment, and $200 camper payment. all of which we needed to keep. dave lived outta town for weeks at a time, commuted all over the state and arizona. i was still making my payment for the 6 months of insurance that i had a right to after i was laid off. somehow, we made it. my family and dave's family saved our asses, and now we're building. it amazing how inspired you can be to get your life and finances in order when you have to.
     
  10. RyvreWillow

    RyvreWillow Member

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    We had our first baby without insurance; i think it took 2 1/2 years to pay off the hospital bill. Not bad, really, considering our montly payments, deductables, etc for an insurance plan would add up to about the same AND you pay those as long as you have the plan, if you use it or not...if you just pay for a hospital stay or doctors appontment now and then, you might have months or years with no payments at all. Probably not the way most people look at it, but just a thought.
     
  11. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

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    yeah, we still haven't even paid the deductible for kai's birth, and that was over 3 years ago. we've just been so broke that it wasn't even an option to pay it yet. now we're starting to get it done.
     
  12. colorfulhippie

    colorfulhippie Member

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    We're not insured right now either (i'm 10 weeks along). We're having a homebirth this time which insurance doesn't cover anyway. It's costing a bunch, but it'll be way worth it :)
     
  13. squawkers7

    squawkers7 radical rebel

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    With my 7 kids even Donald Trump couldn't afford it.
     

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