Questioning My Intentions with Barefooting

Might be a bit of a rambly post, but I have some thoughts that have been knocking around in here for a while, and figured I’d dump them here. I’ll preface the rest of what I’m about to say with some basic information. I’m only 16, I’m a dude, and my family is conservative. I am too, I’m not knocking it, I’m just providing some context. My mom is more into the barefoot thing than any of us. She’s not a constant barefooter, but she is much of the time and is the most comfortable going barefoot outside. My dad is less into it. He’s sometimes barefoot around the house, it’s not enforced that we not be barefoot or anything, it’s just that he doesn’t really get into it. He also has military history, which informs the way he dresses to some extent. My little brother and sister don’t have any real stance on it that I know of (I don’t make it a point to talk about it) but generally my brother isn’t barefoot and my sister is too little to care whether or not she has shoes most of the time. With that out of the way, the reason I’m questioning myself is because of some rather disgusting things I’m not proud of, so fair warning I guess. When I was about 12, I learned how to use my tablet I had at the time to access porn. I’m still kind of hooked on it, but I like to think I’m better than I was, and the dream is to stop using it entirely. The main genre I became interested in, hence my post here, is foot fetish. I don’t know if this interest reflects anything about me, because I’ve never held hands with a girl, let alone done any sexual acts, let alone foot fetish stuff. But it’s what my dumb horny brain latched on to. Years later, around 14, I started experimenting with going barefoot. I had never really done it before, beyond basic stuff from being little and innocently running around my yard sometimes. I would go outside at night (at the time we were between residences, and I ended up sleeping in part of an old house once owned by my uncle while my parents and siblings slept in a camper outside) and try to find mud to walk in. I learned that I liked the feeling of earth under my feet, especially soft dirt/mud. I was ashamed of myself for this, and at one time I was caught and had to have a serious conversation with my father. I cried because I was so ashamed. He wasn’t angry with me so much as he needed for me to understand that I couldn’t be running around doing weird things I wouldn’t normally do in secret just to get off. I agree, the way I was doing it and the reason was very gross, and I still feel shame. I did other weird things too, that are even worse-that I have never discussed with anyone, and never plan to. Now, almost three years after that, I’m in a weird situation. I almost never wear socks (besides most days I have to be at school) and around the house I’m usually barefoot. I also work out barefoot because we have an outdoor gym. I’m still ashamed of the things I used to do and I don’t want to feel like I’m doing these things to satisfy some perverse urges. Let me rephrase that. I don’t want to BE doing these things if the reason, somewhere in my mind/subconscious, is to satisfy those urges. I respect barefooters and people who are doing these things out of true conviction. I understand why, and I’d like to think I can count myself among you. I think shoes are a tool that have very important and useful purposes, but are over-emphasized to the point that people are impairing the natural function of their feet. I think there’s nothing wrong with being barefoot in most situations, and it’s unnecessary to try and bar people from doing these things. However, even if all these things are true, as I believe them to be, I hate that the reason I arrived at these conclusions is through a very shameful period of my life that’s not even over yet. Here’s an example: Roughly a week ago, a friend of my mom’s came over-a fairly rare occurrence for us. We don’t get to visit much. She brought her son, who I consider a friend. He’s a few years younger than me, but I think he’s got a good head on his shoulders. It had been very rainy in the preceding weeks and on the day he came over with the intention to camp out with me and my brother, there were intermittent downpours. Also, we had taken our tractor down the path to our camping spot to carry our tents and supplies and such. Because of this, and the high clay content in our soil, the path to our campsite was very muddy. Couple inches deep, very squishy and squelchy. Very fun to walk in. We had gone down off our property into what I’ve been led to believe is rarely-traversed public land (or private land that I’ve never seen a soul on) where through this series of hollers and valleys runs a creek surrounded by dense forest, and our shoes were wet, so he took off his shoes and socks and laid his feet on our makeshift cinder-block fire ring. I had slip on water shoes so I did the same. We got to talking about barefooting and how it’s a pretty harmless decision or lifestyle, but how it’s difficult to make it normal/easy to pursue in todays world. Neither of us are as hardcore as some of y’all are, but we did briefly discuss how we had no problem with it. Later on, I went to check on something by our gym and left my shoes. My parents and moms friend were still up where the thing I was checking on was though, and they were partying, so I turned back. My feet being muddy was mentioned when I returned, and I said I didn’t mind it and thought it was fun. Later, he and I went to walk in the mud for fun. My brother stayed behind. It wasn’t my idea, but I went along with it. I wanted to. Even if it was innocent, as I want to believe it was, how can I say for certain that some part of my brain wasn’t hoping for it to work out that way? That some part of it was a little too happy when he and I went on that walk? Then it gets super creepy, because not only is he also a guy-which is not a game I play- but he’s also a couple years younger. I don’t like that there’s even a shred of a shadow of a possibility that I took advantage of my friend. I still do barefoot stuff in a way that sometimes leads me to question myself as to why I’m doing it. Sometimes I go down to that creek I mentioned and walk down it for about a mile barefoot. Sometimes, on some of those walks, I go up into these mud pits that pop up in some areas, some of which reach halfway up my shin when I step in them. Have I just latched on to all these explanations, merit thought they may have, as a way to justify doing the same weird things that I’m still ashamed of from back then? Have I stumbled on a perfectly healthy lifestyle choice, albeit through illicit means? I don’t really know. I don’t even know why I just wrote all that. I try to stay away from social media in general. Reddit is the only one I’ve ever had, and I can barely deal with it. I’ll go for months or a year without using it and then go for several months where I’m addicted, and use it as a source for porn that I inevitably hate myself for using. This isn’t intended to be me fishing for pity points or acting like my life is so terrible or anything. Guess I was just curious what people think.

 

Paragraphs are a wonderful thing.

 

There is a lot to unpack there.
In a couple years you take control of your life. You move, grow and build your own future.
If that future has socks or shoes is really yours to decide.

You will see your family. Most people humor them when they see them. You will need shoes for some things, wear them when you see them. They will be happy and you can throw them in the closet as they drive away.

Suck it up for a couple years, play it cool when needed and enjoy your future.

 

I guess I don't know what you were ashamed of. What was your father upset about? Tromping through the mud seems pretty fun and innocent to me. A lot of what we enjoy just isn't a moral issue. It may be different than what other people are used to doing, but that may just be a tradition or a habit. Honestly, I don't understand what the word fetish means, and probably no one who uses it does either. I guess I have a sincere appreciation for any of my body parts that I can see, and strong and healthy feet are high on my appreciation list. Also, feet are very sensative, and we feel many new and delightful sensations when we become barefooters. I believe those are natural and healthy feelings that the earth gives us. Did your father say what he thought you had done wrong? Did you tell him you felt bad about doing something or were you just confused about your new experience. I'm not expecting you to answer these questions, but it might be worth thinking about it and getting down to the crux of what your father thinks is wrong. I'm not sure you know what you did wrong from what you have said.

By the way, if you feel you can't approach your dad about this, let it go and take "one man band's" advice. Part of growing up is learning that parents aren't perfect.........and loving them anyway.

 

Here's a rambly response to a rambly post, from one barefoot rambler to another!

First of all, liking the sensation of mud on your bare feet is nothing to be ashamed of. Even liking feet from a different perspective - the one that you mentioned - is nothing out of the ordinary. All of this is a perfectly normal and beneficial part of every young man's development, so you shouldn't be afraid of it whatsoever.

Your story reminds me a whole lot of the way I first got into barefooting. Yes, it is a healthy and joyful lifestyle that a sizeable chunk of the general public just doesn't have an appreciation for. We all walk barefoot to satisfy some urge - sometimes, it's just an urge to enjoy the feeling of soil beneath our naked soles, or to simply free our feet from the captivity of horrible shoes. Your dad is probably more angry about sneaking out in the night just to walk around barefoot in mud. He is aware that you like it, but your "true" intentions, whatever they might be, are entirely irrelevant. He might see it as a "weird" thing to do, but he probably felt it was more alarming that you tried keeping it a secret from him. Soon enough, you'll be your own man, and it's really not any of his business to inquire as to why you're doing it, beyond knowing that it makes you feel good. Don't get me wrong - as goodearth said, you can still love and respect your parents and disagree with them on certain subjects. It's their job to accept you the way you truly are - and what makes their kids tick is not something that any parent should care about at all, especially if it is something so utterly innocuous.

I only envy that you found a buddy to share your barefoot experience with. And don't think for a moment that there was anything "creepy" about it. Your friend loves going barefoot and you like it, too - aren't shared interests why people become friends in the first place? To have a friend who also loves being barefoot is a dream for a lot of us here - and it could help you develop a more "grounded" (pun intended) outlook on what makes barefooting such an enjoyable activity. Perhaps your friend is going through the same motions you did at his age. Wasn't walking barefoot his choice as much as yours? And even if it wasn't, he sure didn't regret it afterwards.

As a kid, I had plenty of opportunity to bare my feet as my Boy Scout troop often went camping and hiking in nature, but due to similar inhibitions as the ones you spoke of I found little courage to bare my feet... how many more fond memories I could have made back then, if only I had a fellow Scout mate who'd have dared to share in the joys of barefooting with me! Instead, I treated my feet with such disdain as if I held nothing but hatred for them (even though I absolutely adored feet), "rewarding" them with painful blisters as they withered stuffed inside of sweaty, ugly hiking shoes, while also denying my bare soles the mileage they could have had marching across muddy farmland fields and woodland paths!

I also hail from a conservative background. I also didn't choose to like the things I like, but I cannot escape from the fact that, one way or another, I became a devoted barefooter. I, too, felt that I had to keep my barefooting ways a secret from my parents when we lived together. However, you really shouldn't feel ashamed of liking feet and being a barefooter. Our brain latches onto things with little rhyme or reason behind it - we don't make those choices, so we shouldn't feel such shame about them that we end up depriving ourselves from such simple joys of life as taking off our shoes and stomping around in our bare feet! You love feet, and it's so very difficult to suddenly just stop liking what you so dearly love. Attempts to repress your true feelings can only lead to more frustration - in the end, that could only inflict more damage as you'll either become more distressed, or your little kink might grow into an obsession! Just don't victimize yourself by having too many regrets - do the things you love, be proud about it, and make it just a quirky thing you do - nothing sinister about that!

Your mind knows that you're a conservative lad with a conservative family, yet your brain subconsciously saw feet as something worthy of its affection - and it sure made a splendid decision! When life gives you lemons, make lemonade - in this case, "lemons" are muddy patches that your brain is eager for you to sink your bare toes into, and "lemonade" are the footprints of naked soles that you'll make as you happily squelch across the gooey goodness! Feet are an incredibly common kink, so to put it simply, it's just *not that big of a deal*. Don't make mountains of molehills - I'm sure you'd much rather squish them with your bare feet, so just do that instead!

You might even find like-minded people that shall find that part of your personality attractive. When I was about your age, I finally found the courage to ditch my sneakers and instead wear sandals in public. You can imagine how I felt, a teenage boy just walking into school on a gloomy day in late fall - all while deliberately wearing a pair of socks and sandals! I felt scared, I felt excited, but above all else, I felt really happy - and I felt a bit naughty! At first, I was teased a bit, but I was already used to it, being a dorky, straight-A doo-gooder - a literal Boy Scout. I guess some of the other kids found my lack of fashion sense endearing, since even the class clowns didn't ever dare to do something as goofy! Those who used to avoid me now questioned why I was doing something so unusual - in order to mock me, perhaps - but they all found a new side of me that was previously completely unknown to them! Because I no longer had to hide the fact that I disliked wearing closed-toe shoes, I could finally stand out from the crowd - and in doing so, I ended up making better friends than ever before! After a while, I found myself spending a lot of time completely barefoot in the presence of others, without thinking much of it! So, being barefoot became "normalized" behavior for me, and those who accepted me the way I am quickly accepted that aspect of my personality as well.

What you "get off" to is nobody's business but your own, and so is making it known to others. What you like is what you like, and it matters not why you are doing it. You are breaking no law, you are only spreading joy and positivity, all while having a hoot of a time! Maybe loving feet and walking barefoot is a thing you will one day share with your significant other, and it will serve to strengthen the bonds between you! Barefooting is a part of who you truly are - you would have come to enjoy walking barefoot in mud even without prior stimulation by "illicit" content. Because everybody would love walking barefoot in mud if they dared to do it! Pleasure is a rare commodity in life, so relish every opportunity to seize as much of it as possible!

Don't fret the feeling of freeing your piggies!
Be barefoot! Be happy!

 

I was shy about stuff as teen I think most of us were guess Im 'old' had no internet to look at girly stuff, only magazines.

But heck in school looking at the girls feet under the desks in front of me, that started in middle school I guess.

Had a few long term relationships after high school and 20s back to back wasnt single for long thinking back I didn't tell them girl feet was a thing I liked early on in dating.

Anyway fast forward to now its like the first thing I do is comment on a ladies feet and tell them I love girly feet and going barefoot. What a total waste of time it was being shy about it, had some women say but feet yuck and I don't like my feet and Im like bullshit you have nice feet feet are fun what the heck. I can't even count how many women I have made footsie friends with even if we were not dating would let me touch their feet and go barefooting with me. Im in florida by the beach that kinda helps I guess.

As a teen my older brother used to tell me quit being shy with women go talk to her, it wasn't something I could just shut off feeling shy no matter what he said so I don't know what to tell you.

All I know is like playing feet with the ladies so now pretty much the first move I make is trying to get them barefoot and its pretty easy because playing feet is fun.

The only trouble sometimes is I want a nice foot massage in return and they are not that into it as into it as I want. And also something I will never get is yes it starts with a crazy desire to play with the ladies feet but once I get my hands on them 10 minutes in Im bored of it. But then it always comes back again.

I didn't start barefooting till coming to florida, was a northerner used to shoes all the time got used to flip flops but then I clicked on an article about the science barefoot running and got the idea to see if I could toughed up my feet and adapt to going barefoot.

I adapted very quicly and that old feeling that my feet were fragile and I was missing something without shoes was gone. Going barefoot felt as natural as going barehanded. I even worked a construction site for a wile barefoot.

What I didn't know was that after learning and adapting to all terrain bare-footing I would then hate the way it felt to wear shoes. I didn't know about that part!

The whole world should know shoes are a scam, I didn't know I only 'needed' them because I wore them so long.

Maybe in the future mankind will quit the gross habit of shoes and socks., like why do they wear shoes on Star Trek? The whole ship is spotless and carpeted no reason for shoes at all.

 

Childhood is such a difficult time, since you rely so much on other people's goodwill for your survival, and upsetting the wrong people during this time could have detrimental effects. That being said, let's press the issue. Here's something that I'd like to get out of the way right now: Any sexual preferences that don't involve children, or the absence of consent, are OK. Sexual fetishes are numerous in the ways they present themselves, and what you have to understand is that they usually don't go away. Sure, you'll definitely lose interest from time to time, but don't count that as a victory, because you'll eventually always go back to that particular kink of yours, that's how human sexuality works. You have the highs and the lows with horniness too. Unless you were born asexual, the urges will always be there, and if you deny your sexual wishes from yourself too much and too long, you'll just grow miserable and dissatisfied with your future sex life from a simple lack of satisfaction and not getting the thing you wanted. I can't even begin to describe the psychological damage this could do.

You don't have to advertise your preferences and wants to the world, and you actually shouldn't either, because there will always be that crowd who won't get it that you don't want to make enemies out of. That being said, seek company from your own kind. From those who are like you. Who knows, maybe the stars will align, and you'll make friends with a nice, barefoot girl who gets it, and things might then head to a very satisfying direction (no guarantees though). What you do with her behind closed doors, or on some nice, remote mud field out of other people's sights can always be your little secret and, in fact, should remain as one. After all, why in the fuck should other people know in the first place? Privacy continues to be the king in this world. Especially now, when so many bad faith actors want to take it from you. Embrace your preferences, but don't advertise them, because others honestly don't need to know. You're 16 anyway, not technically even an adult yet, so you still have time to grow up more and try to make sense of it all. Your anxieties will lessen with age, trust me. But do yourself a favor, and don't try to resist your wants either, you'll just make yourself miserable. Try to find an outlet for all the pent up pressure, whatever it might be, and understand that this is experience speaking. As a 40-something veteran of kinky sex (details of which I shall keep to myself), I've been trough this same emotional wrestling match myself.

As far as lifestyle barefooting goes... Based on your story, at 16 you have already done more in that regard than I have at your age. When I was 16, my feet were firmly wrapped in sneakers and socks, and I didn't open up to this lifestyle until I was 27, and was partially forced into it by a medical condition, when I discovered that my toenails had gone yellow from fungal infection. They smelled foul and they were brittle. Going barefoot was the only way to rectify my unfortunate situation, and I've been barefooting down that road ever since. You mentioned that you have already openly barefooted with a friend, who was also barefoot? And that you don't have any issue with your family members seeing your toes? That's a helluva good start. My advice is that keep it going, you've already cleared the worst hurdles by showing to your family and friends that you're not shy about your feet. Since you have a nice, 11 year head start on me, don't miss any opportunities to experience this life in bare feet. Because I can tell you, also from experience, that if you have any interest, but still miss out on those youth time memories because of some teenage anxieties and hang-ups, you'll regret it bitterly when you hit middle age. I was never a barefoot child, and my regret over it is now immense. So, if you have any interest towards this at all, the time to experience it all is NOW. Your teens and your twenties will be over so goddamn fast, and when it happens, it's not coming back. Don't miss out, dude. Don't be me. You can't turn the clock back.

(BTW, remember to clear your browsing history, if you don't want your parents to see this.)