Question for "young" mothers

i think your heart decides when you have your babies, sensible or not, they come whey they want to whether you are ready or not, lol.


it does help to be with a good man and be financially secure, can be very worrying and stressful otherwise, but im doing ok now, pregnant at 19, now 20 and getting married in september, expecting my baby in november, and im sooo happy.

 

My daughter was born 4 months before I turned 20. If people dont like it , they can kiss my butt! Im glad I had my daughter before I was 30. I dont want to be pushing 40 and have small kids running in the house. I want to be able to do what I want later in life, and not have to be looking for a sitter.

Plus, It's fun to have them when your young, you have more energy to do stuff with them.

 

HEY! I resemble that remark! (I'm 42, Sage is 4. She frequently runs around the house, with mama, leaning on the old lady walker, toddering after her.) But if you get baby lust when you are older, you have teen kids to help out. My older kids were really helpful when I had Sage at such an advanced age! LOL!

 

I know how you feel, Maggie. My mom is 44 with a three year old! My sister has a niece 2 yrs older than her and one 2 yrs younger!! I think I mentioned it earlier, but I always get dissapproving stares when I have my two daughters and my sister with me!

 

i remember as far back as i can, i have always wanted childeren of my own. i didnt care about marrage or anything, i have always wanted to have babies. always.
my surgestion is to get yourself grownded, get your carrer going. dont get me wrong i love my life with my babies and all . . . . but i had wished now that i was doing something other that cleaning offices for a living.

 

Im 18 and three months pregnant, Ill be 19 when the babys born. I am very happy and excited and dont care what anyone else thinks about me.

 

Ha! Weird...I too am in college (9 more months until I graduate!). I am going to be 30 this month, but I look 18, so I get "the look" all the time, like when we are grocery shopping. My son is 5, so if people think I am 18...well, you do the math. LOL! We are also on food stamps, so that doesn't help when people get judgemental. I could care less about what others think. I laugh inside when I get looked at. I am not a damn kid...I was married for 6 years, but now am divorced, for Pete's sake!

Some people are just meant to be parents, so I say go for it!

 

I'm 53 with a two year old. My son has a niece who is 6, one who is 10, one who is 13, and one who is 15. His nephews are 3, 8, and 12.

The 15 year old loves to carry him around and tell everyone, "THis is my uncle."

Kathi

 

Some people are ready before others.I think if your body is ready to handle it (which it pretty much is after you get your period, I just mean if you can handle the physical pain of birth and pregnancy), and you are spiritually and mentally ready, and you think you can give the child a good life, good. If it's what you want, go for it. Same goes for young marriages, many do not work out, but if you're mature and ready and wanting to get married, do it, don't let anyone's opinion stand in your way!

 

I am not a parent and don't desire to become one at least not now while I'm in school! Anyway, I agree comepletely with the above statement. People can be so judgemental!

 

If you love the little mud bugs that'll go a long way towards a wonderful life at any age. Fug all those mean depressed people and what they think.


As for having an infant in college....I may have gotten a few B's that could have been A's but my overall GPA wasn't harmed by my insane parental instincts or the occasional screw up in childcare. Now having a baby mid semester might screw things up a bit, lol...my daughter was born on the first day of summer break and was old enough to get into the campus daycare by the end of summer (not that the daycare center thing lasted...did I mention my insane parental instincts? I ended going for something a bit less institutional after I'd had a chance to settle into classes).

Seriously, watch out for those instincts...they'll have you dropping college and anything else to make tofu and breast feed at home all day...not that that's a bad thing...just maybe why people say to wait until after lifes hurdles?

 

I am totally there. I got pregnant after my first semester back at school. I went on hiatus while I was preggie so I could focus 100% on my baby, and when she was 5 months old, I went back. Her daddy has a very flexible work schedule, so he can watch the girls while I'm in school. Though, I never get to see HIM!

It is easier to wait until you are "ready", but actually getting pregnant makes you more ready than anything else I can think of. Not that I'm advocating getting pregnant if you don't feel ready to be.

 

I got pregnant when I was 19, and the first thing my mum did when I told her was burst out crying and tell me that I had no choice but to get an abortion. I was really sick and in the hospital when I was about 3 weeks pregnant, so playing on my fears, she told me that if I kept it, it would probably be all deformed and mutated. Thanks a lot grandma. Anyway, throughout my whole pregnancy everyone was telling me how much work a baby is, and how much it will change your life and how much I will probably regret it later on it life because of my age. And they were right about one thing, it did change my life, but in an amazing way. Becoming a mother is one of the most natural things I have ever done, and not once have I ever felt ill prepared for the task. And babies aren't as much work as everyone says they are. Don't get me wrong, they are very, very time consuming, but they're also so rewarding you barely notice it.
Someone once told me that if you can't raise and train a dog to be well manered, then you probably can't raise a kid yet. I think there may be some truth to that.... Just, for the love of god, make sure you're financially prepared and don't try to do it on your own if you don't have to cause I would be lost without my boyfriend.
And as for society frowning down on young mothers,.,.,. fuck 'em. WHo gives a shit what they think anyway.

 

My Parents were both 17 when I was born. Their parents were not happy so before I was born They came to the States from Ireland. And they have been together ever since!




December

 

This has been a very interesting read. Especially since I'm seriously considering trying to conceive my first child soon. I'm 22 and so is my fiance. I totally expected my family and my fiance's family to freak at that idea, but only one person has freaked. My grandmother is totally opposed to the idea, but everyone thinks she's crazy anyways! lol! And the rest of my family has actually been understanding and supportive of this idea. I wanted to talk to them about this subject before becoming pregnant so I'd know what to expect. And I'm amazed. I assumed they'd think I'm too young, but they don't. And that makes me really happy because I really want to have a baby. I finally found the right man for me so now it seems very natural to have a child with him. So I think that's what I'm going to do. So, I might be a mama at 23 if all goes well.

 

I just had my first baby and Im only 16. I dont regret it at all it was the most amazing experience of my life and her father and i will never forget it.

 

I had my first at 16, too! She's 22 now, and I'm a grandma. If you ever need any help or have questions, or just want some support, you can always PM me.

Here's my baby and her baby!

 

Brighid! Your girls are gorgeous! Hehe, i HAD to say that

 

Michelle, don't get me started! I love showing off my kids! LOL!

Thank you, they are beautiful!

 

I'd love to see pictures of all the little ones! I know that I want to be a mother as soon as I can, I'm probably the only person my age feeling the urges I do, but I know that I have to be prepared for it, for my child's sake. If I get a job at the library (which I recently applied for) I'll be making a little over 600 a month, and considering I have nothing to spend it on, I plan to save it, and in a few years I'll have at least a few thousand.