Humans are social animals. Humans without social requirements are as "natural" as a bee without a hive. Social pressures vary from culture to culture, but they are always there. Similar to language, we speak different languages, but everyone has one (at least). Social requirements are part of being human. Just as mating dances are part of being a bird. We are intensely social animals. Some have theorized that Machiavellian intelligence (manipulating the social situation to our benefit) is what drove our increased brain size and our technological cleverness. Part of our natural humanness is to always be aware of our affect. What other humans observe about us and what they think of it is incredibly important to humans. Which fits in with my experience of sex. The least desirable sex partner is the one who lays there and lets me do what I want. The best sex is when she responds to me and is an eager partner in the activity. What men want isn't non-social self oriented sex, but to be the alpha and to be have a choice in partners.
There is a Light and Dark side within all of us - the tender touch and caress of Love and fierce desire for harsh and powerful Lust that uninhibited action brings - for me hold an equal pleasurable exuberance. In respect of "the dark side" - Losing oneself in Fantasy gives one a freedom of expression which allows Great Passion to be released (Letting go of the demon inside (?)) - And this methinks is not the sole prerogative of the White, Male, Hetrosexual, Able bodied and/or certain Aged of any particular Race, Creed, Colour - Emotive Exuberance applies to all
Mostly romantic afternoon - foreplay, making love. Sometimes a quickie when we feel horny. Doggy style over the kitchen table. Drop panties, enter her hard, pound her until orgasm, which triggers hers, then get back to what we were doing.