Question For Men That Are Married Or In A Relationships With Women.

Don't know if you are still interested in this after 4 years but here is my perspective:

When I met my wife over 20 years ago I was straight with the occasional gay fantasy that disgusted me after I came. Never thought of it as part of me. My wife was the one who actually told me out of the blue after 5 years that she had lesbian fantasies. It took me 6 months to pluck up the courage to admit my fantasies. One of the most cathartic moments of my life. Her acceptance led me to release my guilt and to enjoy my gay fantasies more. It just snowballed from there. The more I enjoyed my fantasies the more I indulged in them.

My wife has been with me every step of the way helping me to explore my sexuality and I have not had to hide a single thing.

At the age of 50 I consider myself pretty much gay. My wife and I have a loving, sexually limited life together. As far as being secretly gay, yes I am, to the rest of the world but why is it their business anyway?

 

Could be any number of reasons.
Gay, Bi, straight.
It's sexual exploration, the thougt of sucking or fucking a guy is only about a physical sensation or or experience for me. If I like it and keep doing it it's because of the physical feeling not an attraction to men. Just sex

 

In my circle of friends there are gay couples both male and females. There are straight couples . And at least 2 couples where one or both are Bi . It is not a big thing for me or my long term girlfriend. There are males or females out there wondering what it would be like to have a same sex lover. And that is normal. Sometimes they speak about it sometimes it is a deep hidden secret for them.
Human sexuality is not just black or white, One or the other, You have black.... then many, many shades of gray......And then white. Nothing is set in stone. What a lot of people call the norm is really not the norm, far from it. . People grow over time and so does their sexuality.

 

I feel like with women, bi/lesbian can be a phase. Bf/husband not attentive enough. Lesbian friend swoops in and meets their needs. Bi/gay men, I don’t believe to be a phase. I was “curious” early on. I would do it and feel ashamed as if it was something I shouldn’t be doing. Eventually the urge would be too great and an opportunity would present itself and I’d do it again. My wife doesn’t officially know that I’m bisexual. I’ve done things with men while with her but she never asks about it later. I’m secretly bisexual and I intend to keep it that way. I’d have to answer questions I don’t want to answer. I don’t check men out while in public, but I’m very much turned on by naked men. I finally became comfortable enough to admit that I’m sexually attracted to men and that it’s ok.

 

Be your self and be happy when you do. What others say isn't important it's how you feel................I'm bisexual.......Good luck my friend.....

 

Once lived with a guy couple...caught him watching me fucking q girl once...invited him in to watch

 

You realise he wasn't watching the girl

 

Yes

 

For men of a certain age. Gay or bi was not really an option without total loss of family and friends. I knew I was bi leaning gay since before puberty. The female form is beautiful,one of gods finest creations, but there is something about kissing and being held by a man, him making love to me that is completely different and in so many ways far superior to anything that a woman is capable of making me feel physically or emotionally. I have been in love with a woman and in love with A man and either way I feel unfulfilled but that is just me I can speak for no one else. But in the overall scheme of things I much prefer to be the submissive lover to a gentle dominant man thAn to a woman

 

Same, been bi leaning gay since a young man , the older I get the more gay sex I want. Pussy is getting repulsive and only cock will do

 

I hope I never find Pussy repulsive.

I'm up for trying some bi sex or cock but I hope I will always like pussy

 

I’ve been transitioning mtf since 43, (45 now). For me having sex with a man repulsed me when I thought about myself as a man but when I think about myself as the woman I really am inside and becoming it’s perfectly normal and beautiful. (It’s me not him.) I was living a lie and thus repulsed myself. I do find women far more attractive. When I’m with a woman I almost imitate her and a vagina feels so much better than a guy’s bottom and I will never top a man. A man has to see me as a woman and treat me accordingly. The actual orgasm from being penetrated by a man is superior. Men give far better head too, no matter how straight they claim to be lol first or 101st time. When a man says that I’m pretty or feminine and treats me no different than a cis woman it’s intoxicating.

 

That is correct. I never got hard because I 'liked' a guy and wanted him in any way except for he and I to cum hard a few times. Sometimes on a repeat basis or with his roommate or friend dropping by (male or female) both of these were rarities).

It was almost always opportunistic. I was early/mid-twenties (in the 1970s) and lived hedonistic life. My 'feelings of love' were always MF.. my short-term entanglements were 90/10 or 85/15 (MF /MM ) and there were over 250 partners

The very night I met the woman who I had no idea would still my wife (43 years), I went home with a guy. But after marriage? since 1980 I haven't been with a guy; it's not like you just stop desiring /fantasizing about MM sex. The hunger eats at you. Hell, I had a hunger for guys at age 11, after a 14 yo friend and his friends 'introduced me'.. I wouldn't even think if girls sexually/romantically until I experimented at 15.

My wife is aware I had bi sex, but the AIDS crisis was proliferating and I got married and - well - I stopped.

But it's often gay porn I read/watch. Gay/Bi fantasies are probably 60-75%.
odd.. I guess the resistance to my bi-suppression increases strength of longing, coupled with an outlet for emotional-based sex.

(I sometimes wondered if I was alone thinking like this but have come to realize there's lots of bi or bi-curious married guys.

 

Welcome to HF! Please introduce yourself! ;-)

 

mountain_seed.. CA/OR border area..
was part of LA Co FD 'hotshot' crew then enlisted in Army for more excitement..
101st Airborne in 'Nam (1970-72)..

just finding out about this site and who/what is here.. seems like I'm not the only 70ish married bi who yearns for a taste of that contact again.. haven't had MM contact since 1980.. don't know that I can (or want) to avoid MM sex completely anymore..

 

oh.. my careers have been lumber industry andState interstate compliance investigations of entities operating in CA..(iow: accounting)

 

Thank you! Thank you for your service!!

 

in reply to Candybuttons original comment and having read all the replies .. I state that i am not gay and i am not straight .. I AM BI !!

I have been married to my wife for 32 years , we have 6 children and 3 grandchildren .. As for not wanting to fuck my wife anymore is so far from the truth .. my wife has beautiful boobs and nicest pussy and we still both enjoy each other sexually .. we play with toys and blindfolds and tie each other up ... Candybuttons question .. Are their wife's boring to them? absolutely not and to be honest she still turns me on and gets me hard all these years later...she has natural long grey hair and a nice rounded bottom.

I have been playing with guys for the past 46 years... yes way before we were married and as far back i have had girlfriends and long term relationships.
Candybuttons question ...why are so many men sneaking off to go fuck men? Are men more exciting? .. for me I enjoy being with another guy (s) ... and only another guy (s) can fulfill my desire ... I am 100% versatile and know what i like in a guy .... i wouldn't say men are more exciting as i enjoy both sexes .. and I am not making up for any lack at home ...

Candybuttons question .. What causes this to happen? Is it porn putting ideas in their heads? .. for me i started experimenting with both sexes from a young age and porn wasn't anything like what is available today so can't blame that .. had a normal upbringing with dad mum and 3 sisters ..

I have a gay lover , a gay married couple I regularly play with and a number of semi regular bi married guys that are in sexless marriages and like having their cocks sucked ... as well as a family we have gay friends both male and female .. and i can look at a male or a female and admire / desire their body ..

I think i am normal lol

 

While I suppose some of those guys are actually gay, I'm thinking most are just bisexual men who love women and cock (not necessarily other guys themselves)