How many guys that post or lurk /read here would be OK with their wives having a "friend-with-benefits" on the side?? (This is if she and her boyfriend would be tested for diseases and cleared, or used condoms …… and she wanted to stay with you and keep your marriage strong & loving together ……. and it was just for some fun for her and to add spice to your marriage???) Feel free to add any comments or opinions to your answers. I don't know how to post one of those bar graphs with multiple stipulations /choices for surveys that are easy to glance at, or I'd make one for this question!! .
In theory, yes, but would probably prefer to be involved. If she had a higher sex drive than me then it would be easier to imagine this scenario happening and being happy with it. However, as I have a higher sex drive than her, it would be difficult to accept (can't think of a better word) that on the rare occasions she wanted sex it was being satisfied by somebody else.
Nah, it’d be more fun to play together with a 3rd. I’m not bi, but I’d enjoy watching her have a good time. I’d also like to bring in another female as well, but she won’t go for that. Personally, I can’t let her go out and have flings and feel good about it. It’s not my cup of tea. It feels too much like cheating.
She had friends with benefits in college while I was away at another college. After we had been married several years, we talked about her missing variety and agreed that she could do it again, but only one or two times per man. There would be no ongoing FWB relationships. It worked for us for the couple of years that she did it.
Wife and I separated for several months during which she became close friends with a guy she once worked with before we married. We eventually got back together but she wanted to continue seeing him which I agreed to since I was afraid she would leave me for him. They were hooking up regularly until he got promoted and moved away. It all worked out in the end.
How many guys would be OK with their wives having a FWB? To answer this question I have to ask whose choice would it be? Yours or hers? I have to advise it is her choice to enjoy the pleasures of life as she wants. If she is promiscuous enough to want other partners for sex then that is up to her. You should relent and support her decision for extra marital relations. But beware it can and should be a two way street. Because of the partnership there are issues that must be resolved. One being if she and her boyfriend would be tested for diseases or used condoms. This is an important issue as it concerns not only the health of the playing spouse but also yourself. Open and honest actions must be taken by all parties involved to prevent the spread of disease. And what about pregnancy? There is that issue as well. She shouldn't bring home his child for you to raise so prevention while playing is a must. A must, that is, unless it is agreed that if pregnancy occurs you accept responsibility for rearing the child. Time away and when to have the trysts comes into play. Where does her affairs rank in regards to your life together? When can she meet up with her FWB? What do you need to know about her dalliances? All these and other questions need to be resolved as you both go forward. A lot of unknowns rise as the trysts are happening. Be prepared to resolve them as you go along. Going back to the two way street she has to accept your desires, if you have them, to play with others too. All this surrounds the desire for her to stay with you and keep your marriage strong & loving together. This is a function of human emotion that brings security to each other. She wants and need the base or foundation of the relationship with you to remain strong and supportive. Knowing that you will be there is and when the fling(s) are over is paramount. Also you have feelings and emotions of losing someone you have a strong love for. You want the world for her but do not want to be left out of her world. That is why divorce gets ugly. Why is it two people who love each other so deeply end up as bitter enemies at the end of their relationship? Human emotion is a ravaging feeling especially when the thought of betrayal enters in. If there is enough love and support then a relationship that has this type of arrangement can and does work. Many couples who enter this type of relationship just for some fun for her and to add spice to your marriage do succeed in keeping the emotions at bay and rejoice in both partners finding joy and pleasure in their lives. It's those who allow themselves to fall away from the basis of the marriage, love, honor, and respect, that have trouble with the actions of the other partner and end up separating in the end. It can't be a one sided adventure as included in the marriage is everything one partner does affects the other partner. Handling this is complex but it can be done with agreements and understanding. BTW, my spouse and I have an agreement that I can play with other women. Part of that agreement is prevention of disease and void of interference with our time together. She has no desire to know when, where, or with whom I have a tryst with. She wants me to be happy and content while remaining in partnership with her for the rest of our lives. I have the same feelings for her. My dalliances do not bring any spice to our marriage but it does bring satisfaction and contentment to our relationship.
I think I remember your situation, Barry, from your posts elsewhere. I have a TON of admiration for you and your wife.
I'm not currently dating but I will answer hypothetically. I would want to know the reason and motivation. If it's because she's not satisfied and is looking around then she can just go. If it's like, to fulfill some other flavor of desire then sure. Now, if the FWB is going to be another girl... I wanna watch!
Not for me, but I could see why some people would if the alternative would be no relationship or there were other reasons why they would want to stay together.
For me, I can say I'd be ok as long as I knew the details and so forth. I'd have a few rules that would need to be maintained. Provided that, yes I'm all for it
No, I wouldn’t go for her to have a FWB. I don’t mind touchy feely and nudity together. Fantasy play is ok with me as well. We are nudist and talk with many couples and they are very open about there relationship. Many FWB’s go to nudist campground resorts.
We had several MFMs with the same close friend. She knows she has a hall pass any time she wants. She's only used it once......with a woman. At this point I just wish she'd have sex with me.
