quest for something bigger

Discussion in 'Travel Talk' started by vaaah, Apr 24, 2013.

  1. vaaah

    vaaah Guest


    I'm new here, so I don't really
    know how to do this. I stumbled across this forum last night and I guess I have a smaller problem I'd need some guidance with. I'll just get right to it:

    I worked in Italy for a few months, and back
    packed the magnificent north an north west maybe a month all together. Also, most recently, I spent six months in Asia. Or more like: five and a half of them in mind blowing Nepal and - way little as it was, more so in proportion to Nepal - not even two weeks in India.

    Now, a friend and I have a camping trip in Croatia's archipelago coming up, in May. That, followed with three months of crazy-intense wor
    k, to in August take off to America. Me and a soul mate I found while volunteering in Kathmandu, plan a two and a half month long cross-country road trip. After the adventures of that kind, I head for Brazil. In this second I'm thinking I'll start traveling the north east for five, six weeks, to then settle in Rio for about three, four months. And, finally, return to Nepal, where I'll volunteer some more, enjoy the nature - all that lovely stuff - until I feel I satisfied my need for that special depth the country has to offer. If only for the moment being. (... which it will be.)

    Still somehow this doesn't really cut it for me.
    It'll be fulfilling, to say the least, in every possible way. But I have this need, this desperation, and this lust, of finding truth, and something actually mattering, and something making one feel complete. Sorta.

    I don't
    know how to explain it, and given I last year graduated high school, haven't I truly been able to explore it all that thoroughly - but I'm digging in Eckhart Tolle's wisdom, the magic of traveling, the mind-quieting meditation form of Vipassana, and what-not, to find... something bigger. I guess. I simply cannot bear the thought of life continuing being ruled by mind-made, imaginary ideals and norms and rules and suffering and empty, egoic actions. Being told what's 'important in life' and this and that. Having etiquettes imposed upon me, of things, of myself - of anything, really - to lessen the complexity and multi-dimensional touch of its true self. All this when the world undeniably is ever-changing and not at all as graspable (if that is even a word?), as our minds make it out to be.

    I want to awa
    ken consciously and soak up all the damn wisdom and depth of this world that I possibly can find. I'm not sure how to, though. I've read a lot about communes, which I'd think suit me well, and I guess some of my favorite books are Into the Wild and A Vagabond for Beauty and the Dharma Bums, so those adventures lure as well. But other than that, I don't know.

    Does anyone have any advice, maybe? I'm all ears.
    1 person likes this.
  2. sunfighter

    sunfighter Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    Serve somebody, as Bob Dylan sang. Get involved in making better the lives in some community somewhere. This is where the rubber meets the road, spiritually speaking. Read some Ram Dass.
  3. roamy

    roamy Senior Member

    welcome va :)
  4. Just_a_woman

    Just_a_woman Member

    I think the most humbling experience would be the most important to you, to help you achieve your "truth." I'd abandon the plans you currently have and move to a place you don't actually find interesting, and work there with very sick old people. Some slum in a place like Angola.

    If you keep going to places for their culture and beauty, you're just doing what you're supposed to do. You're an hedonist.

    If you think the "truth" is hedonism, go on. I actually do. I seek pleasure. But I really think that's not what you really want. At least, that's the vibe I get from your post.

    If you're going to Nepal, a place you love, it isn't volunteer work in the sense of giving something. It's more of a hypocritical version of benevolence.

    Mind you, I don't particularly find it wrong!! Not at all. But it sounds like you need more than just doing what hedonists do.

    Come to think of it, Bangladesh has a lot of potential as a destination for people who wanna strip themselves of benevolence hypocrisy and hedonism. You could work with very sick, old people there, terminal ill elderly. It'd help you to find humbleness and strip yourself of all what is superficial.

    Good luck in finding what you're looking for.
  5. TheGhost

    TheGhost Auuhhhhmm ...

    • Ideals are mind-made. They don't grow on trees. That is also why they are imaginary.
    • Norms and rules are also mind-made but they are quite real. Not necessarily do they actually rule your life as such.
    • Being told what's important (and this and that) is sticks & stones. By the way it is also mind-made and can be imaginary.

    Sorry utter nonsense now.

    Before you have some bread with that whine try to sort out your thoughts and work out if the majority of these things aren't much more than background noise. Also: it always take two ....

    Oh and about truth: your not going to find it. I hate to tell you this ..... but it is mind-made - and also imaginary.
  6. vaaah

    vaaah Guest

    Thank you all so very much for your thoughts and time answering, I appreciate it. Truly. I'll reflect on it all.

    Just_a_woman: I loved your reply. Having many things happening lately, I'm probably also extra impressionable, but I really understood your point and it did open my eyes a bit more to what I shall do. Thank you for that. A smaller thing though, is that most things interest me. Yet to this day there is nothing in this world I cannot find beauty in and become all worked up about. In its own ways of course. Anyway where I'm going with this, is that I don't believe I could find myself a place where I'm NOT excited to go. A place where I wouldn't find pleasure. That's a gift I suppose, but in regards to your point of view, of which I do agree and find being a great input in my "truth seeking", it's not too easy to actually come up with something that fits the description.

    And you're most certainly right, I'd very much like to humble down and strip before 'the truth'. Or maybe life itself, I should say. Our inability to control things. The floating reality. 'Injustice', tragedy and all that. I'd like to lose all formed conceptions of pretty much anything there is (so thanks for your input too, TheGhost, I'll keep your words close to heart). But anyway, your advice would be to get into some slum in for instance Africa? Or/and work with old, terminal people? My thought out volunteering in Nepal, going back to the orphanage I was in before, I agree - essentially it's not for that whole giving thing anymore. The first time, it was: I knew nothing about the country, I knew nothing at all. I just wanted to volunteer. To help in any way possible. That will took me there. This time I do know a lot, things which interest me greatly, and this time I'll go because of my promise to the kids, that I would return. But as for that actual, genuine feeling to contribute, I was thinking I'd volunteer in this HIV/AIDS place in the same village when the children are in school during the days. Also possibly assist in a womens shelter, spreading information.

    Now, my traveling plans look a little different. I'll be continuing onto Greece, Macedonia, Kosovo, Montenegro, Croatia and Italy, after Nepal. I might also squeeze in Pakistan and volunteering there but nothing is absolute yet. Would you have any advices or inputs on that, if those are any good ideas and what I should do, as to your opinion? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

    Thanks again.

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