Pussy Paradox

I look where I want-I won't censor what I'm interested in just to play up other things I like, like intelligence.

Something that causes problems later on is guys (or girls) downplaying (or magnifying) the importance of physical (or any other) attributes-this will mess with the whole relationship later on, if it's built on it from the moment you meet. Personality is important, and so are tits.

 

"We have to approach, but we can't be creepy"

Disagree. A woman can send a signal that she's interested dude. That's an approach I think.

Just be a man bro. Men apply for the job and women decide if they're hiring lol.

 

I resent this Meliai...this isn't always true. It's true alot of times (lol) but not as many times as women think imo.

 

of course she can, she just doesn't.

 

I like small ones.

 

You know, I think this is the first time I've ever agreed with you.

Women do indeed send signals, all the time, it's just that they come from our facial expressions. The men the OP was aiming at are generally too busy looking at other parts of our bodies to notice.

Although I did learn something from this thread - next time a "creepy" guy comes up to me at a bar I'm not going to ignore him, I'll just tell him exactly what's wrong with his approach and how he can fix it. Would a girl like that suit your liking? Is that a way to avoid the game-playing, Mr. kokujin?

 

yeah, big personalities are generally pretty annoying..

yeah, facial expressions are super easy to read and never misleading...

regarding the last paragraph, that would be a huge improvement. the fact that you seem to think being honest is such a horrible concept that suggesting it proves the OP wrong actually kind of proves the OP's point.

 

I wasn't being sarcastic. I actually did learn something from this thread. I know it's rare for someone to admit that, and I can see why you would have been confused. But I think being honest is totally the way to go. I've always thought of myself as pretty honest, but I guess I never thought of rejecting someone without giving a clear-cut explanation as being dishonest.

edit: Ok that didn't make much sense...but it's the best way I could think of to put it.

 

Regardless lugubrious, I think lots of girls and women should do that starting since middle and high school.

It'd could help counteract all the misinformation about how to approach, accept and/or reject the opposite sex despite the mass media's portrayal of matters of the heart.

 

Hi,

Do I know you? I think you have me confused with someone else...

 

Physical attraction IS important, I agree.

Which is why I don't understand why guys get so butt hurt about being put in the "friend zone." Or being labeled a creep, for that matter. In truth, there is no game. There is either physical attraction or there is not. In the absense of physical attraction, a man runs into all the dangers listed in the original post. With physical attraction, none of it really matters because the girl already digs you.

 

Why do women get mad about being told they aren't tough enough for certain jobs, or sports? Why do blacks get mad that they aren't considered for certain "front end" jobs in upper class establishments?

Don't you think it would be easier on men if they were told straight out like this?

"I'm just not into you" is all that has to be said. Men go out on a limb, braving their fears and insecurities, risking their dignity and self-worth; and a good amount of women won't even meet them half way and reject them honestly.
And you don't get why they get butthurt?

 

I see your point, and I agree to a point. But if this logic in this post holds up, how do you explain cases where the girl isn't into the guy, but with the guy's persistence in asking her out, eventually wins her heart.

The game, for better or for worse, exists because it acknowledges the psychological component of what can be attractive, which may or may not depending on the individual in question, be the key to go 'oh maybe I should re-evalutate this person a bit farther maybe he or she would make a good boyfriend/girlfriend, fling ect...'

What the downside to the game is, is that people tend to make themselves someone they are not, rather than taking the general concept of why the game exists, and using it to better themselves in generic areas (cleanliness, physical fitness, communication skills both verbal and non-verbal).

It all depends on whether the individual goes into the dating field with the intent to be dishonest, or honest. If it's honest I'd assume that person would be upfront with what they want, not deceptive.

Also from my understanding, the game also teaches people to move on and not to get fixated on any particular person who gives out the vibe 'I'm not into you'. (this is a huge flaw that people don't do)

 

Ladies, you really tryin to sell us some garbage that there is no game or that chicks aren't playing games? Maybe that men are mixing up the signals and we are looking at it all wrong?
Go sell that shit somehwere else.

Women are buggin the fuck out lunatic style on the dating scene right now. No, not all, but enough of them to make threads like this appear on damn near every forum in cyberspace. Trying to spin it as though they either like you or not and it's that simple, is just denial.

They DO play games, no maybe about it. Sick fucking games. Some chicks get off on putting out signals that they ARE interested just so they can reject you, they cum real hard afterward. Others want to see how much money they can get you to spend BEFORE they reject you. I could go on and on.

Females are getting high on their own pussy power. The whole creep label is just another way to demean men. How dare a charmless, tactless bitch call a man a creep for simply being attracted to and approaching her, even if he is awkward about it and not attractive to her. Where are your manners? Is it that hard to look at the pathetic sumbitch and say I'm not interested?

I dunno man, I get laid and I'm in a happy relationship, I love women but I know what I know.

 

I'm seeing 2 different contexts in this thread.

1. Just the fact that people don't say what they mean when being approached. (Reasons behind this could be debated; fear/nerves, insecurities, for fun and deliberate deception)

2. People play the game to be deliberately cruel to another person of the opposite sex because it's how they get off on it mentally. (the power struggle in other words)

I'd like to separate these 2 subjects that I'd like to filter out here for this thread's clarification.

I do see what Mothman is saying and I do agree with the fact, that there are a lot of girls out there that play games because they like exercising their feminine power over men.

Meliai's point was she is basically can't fathom why some guys get butt hurt over getting friendzoned. I have an answer to this question of hers but she can PM me if she wants it.

 

Personally speaking, it may be easier on men but I don't think you guys realize how often women get hit on. It certainly wouldn't make our lives any easier. I'm a nice girl, I don't want to hurt some guy's feelings everytime I leave the house. If a guy talks to me, sometimes I just assume he's talking to me. In that case, I'll later get accused of "leading him on" because I stopped to have a 5 minute conversation. conversely, sometimes its fucking obvious he's hitting on me, and yes that usually involves a guy acting like a creep. And no, its not bitchy of women to think that some men are creeps when we can't leave our house without getting "hollered" at or approached by some guy that doesn't know us from a hole in the ground.

If I know a guy slightly or he's a friend and he shows genuine interest in me then yes, it would be much more appropriate and classy for me to be straight up and honest with him. But to be honest, I'm not going to waste my time giving every guy that talks to me a honest reason why I don't want to go out with him.

I think its unfair to ask that women take the "honest" approach every single time they get hit on because, quite frankly, we don't ask to get hit on and it happens quite often. We shouldn't be expected to hurt a guy's feelings everytime we leave the house.

See my above response.

I can only speak for myself. I know there are women out there that play games, but I don't. I'm either nice if you're nice or if I know you, and if you're too obvious and annoying about it (because once again, I don't go out looking to get hit on and if a guy persists in talking to me when I make it clear I'm not here to participate in the meat market, then it does get a little annoying) or I don't know you, I'll ignore you. Once again, not gonna waste my breathe giving this lengthy rejection letter to every guy that approaches me in a bar when I'm just out having a drink with the girls anyways.

Anywho, I don't think I'm the right girl to be involved in this discussion anyways. I usually either put off friendly "i'll be your friend and thats it so respect me, asshole" vibes or I put off "don't fuck with me or I'll cut off your dick because I'm not in the mood" vibes...lol. So I don't play games and I try not to send mixed signals, although like I said before, sometimes all a girl has to do is be nice and she'll be accused of sending mixed signals.

Some people are bad people.

Its common knowledge, or it should be anyways, that when women have a negative view of men and think all men are assholes its because the woman has bad taste in men and only goes after assholes.

Well, fellas, and especially some of the cynical fellas on this thread....I hate to break it to you, but if you have a negative view of women and think women get high on pussy power and think women are a bunch of game playing bitches....its because you only go after the game playing bitches!!

Seriously, I don't know how many times I've seen my male friends go after the dumbest, sluttiest looking girl in the bar....the girl with the boobs up to her neck and her skirt so short you can see her shit when she bends over, the girl that has guys lining up to buy her drinks but can't exchange a nice word with any of them after she has her drink in hand....and then they fucking wonder why women are all so horrible?? ITS BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING AFTER THE WRONG WOMEN, GUYS!!

The main reason I bothered to reply to this thread in the first place is because I think its unfair how many of you are making sweeping generalities about my gender when in reality, most of the girls I know are wonderful. The women represented in this thread have nothing to do with the ladies that I know, and it just makes me think that you guys have awful taste in women.

 

Game establishes compatibility. It's like dance. If you can't dance, some women feel you may not be compatible. If you dance well, then the woman feels that you may have potential in the area of compatibility.

(I'm not referring here to "dancing with oneself", but co-ordinated dancing, between two people. Though often the very act of dancing badly works as an "ice-breaker", given a sympathetic woman. Plus, often the very "willingness to dance" is in itself a selling point, whether or not one has the skill. It shows a willingness to make mistakes, and learn.)

Even if you don't call it a "game", the games are there, in the selection process. These are "tests", to find out whether or not you're worth the time. It's not about you, it's about the chemistry between you and the other. You are unique, and not suitable for just anyone.

The essence of "butthurt" is that people get rejected, and in that rejection, they feel isolated, set aside, dismissed, and unlikely to be successful, and destined to be alone. It's not necessarily true, but that's the immediate impression that rejection gives, and especially for the super-sensitive, the easily discouraged, the shy types that are paralyzed with fear.

It would be nicer if a reason was given for the rejection, not to be cruel, but rather to explain, to clarify, and even to give the poor soul a bit of help in finding a mate, and one that suits him/her. However, the willingness to provide a "reason" to any suitor as to why they are not attractive to the receipient of their efforts is not common, nor a traditional social standard. Many may feel that if they are required to give a reason, it is too much. Why? Perhaps because they believe that an individual should be required to figure it out for themselves, rather than expecting others to "educate" them.

But it really would be nice, if women could just tell us what they find unattractive. It's great when people are honest because it is a way to reject without making the suitor feel entirely unsuitable. It clarifies the specific areas of unsuitability.

(In a way, this reminds me of the recent Supreme Court decision, that companies are not required to monitor the way an employee chooses to use his/her lunch period. A restaurant employee took the stand that because his employer didn't specify that lunch was to be used for lunch, that they could be expected to work through lunch, as some of the more seemingly "industrious" employees were doing. The Supreme Court decided that the company was not required to make sure that the employee was actually getting nourished or rested during his/her break time. It would be nice if this were so, but it's not, according to the Supreme Court, necessary for a company to do so.)

So, what society decides is appropriate is different from one culture to another, from one individual to another, etc. There are no "rules to have no rules", and even if there were, it would be senseless, since a rule to have no rules negates the need for the rule.

But in the end, I doubt whether anyone sets out in life to either have rules, or not have rules. The rules, or "the game" just issues from a need to select.

Everyone needs someone, in order to feel not so all alone. Just anyone won't do, so it's necessary to have this process of selection.

 

Are you saying that in order to feel like a worthwhile person, a man needs to be validated by a complete stranger? I don't know, but it seems to me that's more his problem than the chick's. Maybe said man would do well to invest a little in his work or hobbies, that way all of his dignity and self-worth wouldn't hinge on a single rejection.

Seriously, anyone who thinks like this needs to grow up and face the fact that not everything is a personal insult. And who knows - maybe on another day that same girl would have been open to a conversation and she's just not in the mood tonight. The world doesn't revolve around you (not you in particular Duck, but individual men in general).

 

Now I'm happy I made this thread. Melanie, appreciate your detailed rants and viewpoint, Rep coming.. but I'm on a phone and can't properly respond. Still gotta catch up with page 6

 

Who said anything about strangers?

Are you suggesting that one's romantic and social endeavors do not naturally affect their esteem?

PS - Meliai, I will read, and presumably respond to, your post when I have the time.