Project #2

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by LaRaine_Raven, Jan 19, 2008.

  1. LaRaine_Raven

    LaRaine_Raven Member

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    After you have written your Haiku, I would like for each of you to write a second poem of your choice. (Something other than a Haiku, since you've already done that.) Again, please feel free to post or send your poems. I would love to read your work so I can see how you progress over the course of this class! Happy Writting!
  2. asynchronicity

    asynchronicity Member

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    This is something I wrote at the New Year:

    oh eight oh one oh one
    there is so much to be done
    things have just begun
    its just the rising of the sun
    i hope it does not set
    on this life i've grown to live
    the holiest surrender
    is all i have to give
    i dont know if you see
    how much you mean to me
    where ever we may go
    i know is where ill be
    i ran away today
    to the top of the world
    i fell from the top today
    for a marvelous girl
    so im scared i have fear
    nothing new from year to year
    placing lost faith
    in the smiles and the tears
    beginning anew
    in a whole new way
    no regrets for what
    happened yesterday
    its a marvelous new year
  3. asynchronicity

    asynchronicity Member

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    okay, so im not ok
    ok, so im not always that way
    but its all right
    here in the lusty light
    as we hang on to the tail
    of things we don’t understand
    whipped through time
    hand in hand in hand
    i cant make it make
    the sense i wish i sensed
    i push forward in faith
    no fear is too dense
    ride the night with me
    from here to the wild wind
    every once in a while
    we all have to give in
    who knows what its like
    to be you or me, man
    if you dont try you dont
    know what can be, man
    in our heads we run
    in our own rat race games
    it slows down the fun
    fills love with some sort of shame
    and thats not right
    no matter the night
    there is only love
    in the lusty light
  4. bekyboo52

    bekyboo52 52~unknown~52

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    poison is a deadly kiss, from lips of red lust
    poison is a dazing mist, swirling you in it's gust

    poison is a seductive siron, singing a enticing tune
    poison is a homless man, licking crumbs off a spoon

    poison is a cold hand, with fingers round your neck
    poison is a crushing force reducing you to a speck
  5. LaRaine_Raven

    LaRaine_Raven Member

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    Wow. I am very impressed! So much talent! Asynchronicity, both of your poems are so full of emotion, power, and imagery. I like the fact that you felt free to ignore the laws of proper writing. :) That is wonderful- everyone be sure to remember that poetry has no true set laws or rules. Please keep it up- I can't wait to read more! You have figured out how to find the inspiration inside of you. That is where good poetry comes from.

    Beckyboo, you poem is no less impressive! Simple, yet speaking volumes. I love, love, love the imagery! Keep writing. I want to read more!
  6. Suib

    Suib Musical Journeyman

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    I already posted this into the writer's forum and thought i would post it again here. It seems appropriate.


    Woman looking at her reflection in the water
    She sees a bizzare outline
    Colors and lights shine, dilluting her world
    Transe inducting smoke fills the air

    A small cottage on the edge of the universe
    Hermit lives inside, creating the smoke
    His perceptions becoming more focused, real
    He sees things as they really are. Beautiful

    An ancient temple beside an enchanted lake
    The virgin godess protects its secret
    Pools of holy liquids pour down from its great falls
    Silvery bright light blinds all not strong enough

    Inside, the high priest performes the sacred ritual
    The walls and pillars disapear, Leaving him alone. Naked
    He stares into the eyes of his gods
    The day had come, the ancient recipie worked

    Only once had this happened before
    Thousands of years ago
    Time lost. Secrets forgoten
    Jugment, anger, love, induction

    Lost in the willderness of his own thoughts
    He lies on the altar
    Closes his eyes
    And dwelces into a surreal world of perception and knowledge

    The music of the mushroom forrest
    Tiny copies of deer prancing at his feet
    Thrilled at this, he moves on
    There is more to see.

    An endless plain in front of him
    Distortion of sight, colors, porportion
    He reaches out to grab the answer
    It slips, falls intonthe miniscule vortex of space

    Pain and torrment, horrors, gone.
    Into enlightenment he dwells
    Can it happen?
    He looks into the sky

    Everlasting mysteries revealed
    The eyes of the virgin godess stare down
    In fear, he moves on
    A cottage seen in the distance

    A hallow figure of a man emerges
    Hair to his back, beard almost as long
    Old and wrinkly he smiles and notions
    Into the collage the venture

    Insade, a grand palace is revealed
    Marble pillars and golden statues
    Diamond glasses and blood red wine
    A trap. The walls breathe and groan

    Contractions make the priest uneasy
    Snakes appear from nowhere
    Cornered he screams. Nowhere to go
    The virgin appears. Serpants shriek in agony

    Her skin, white as snow, glows with a silvery light
    Her outstreched hand is grasped by the priest
    A flash. They enter a vortex of the dimensions
    Where there are no limmits, no perimiters

    Awakened, the priest sits up.
    It is over. He walkes out the the lake
    A woman looks up from her outline of a reflection
    He turnes back to the temple to find nothing but a small cottage.
  7. MyRevolution

    MyRevolution Member

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    I know I'm a little late joining in, but here is something I just wrote tonight.

    I do not look back on those left behind
    They do not merit the thought, nor dwell on my mind
    Our paths they crossed, our lives intertwined
    But it was their choice to split, theirs and not mine
    One cannot focus on times gone past
    You miss far too much, in a life moving much to fast
    Why worry about yesterday, why let the pain last
    When tomorrow is waiting, such a bright challenge, and such a bright task

    And here is something else I wrote semi recently, just thought I'd throw it in as a little extra. Interestingly enough, this one seems like the exact opposite of my previous piece.

    Remorseful feelings swell up
    Morbid thoughts arise
    Regretfully I lift my head and open my weary eyes
    If not for love and if not for life, if not for those fleeting feelings of delight
    When dreams come alive
    The only thing left for me would be a lonely demise
    Looking back on yesterday, I shut my heavy eyes
  8. LaRaine_Raven

    LaRaine_Raven Member

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    Thank you to new members joining in for the first time. :) I am very impressed by the work I'm seeing here! Sorry it has taken so long for me to get back on. Hopefully we can start up strong again.

    Suib and MyRevolution: Very powerful imagery! I love the way you use your words to make the reader FEEl.
  9. Matt12354

    Matt12354 Member

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    this is the first poem i have ever wrote. i had the inspiration right after i finished meditating one time. i was hoping for some constructive criticism and comments. thanks.

    Naked Meditation

    Alas! I am free,
    No longer constricted by the tight coils of society,
    My body: no longer burdened by the unneeded,
    My mind: no longer wasted by the trivial.

    Freedom flows through my nakedness,
    Winding its way through my body,
    Gushing into my head.

    As I journey into the depths of my mind, I stare in wonder and awe at the beauty and strangeness this newfound freedom has revealed,
    I find myself traveling to the unknown territories of the mind,
    As I follow the flow of freedom, I visit endless paradises,
    Utopia now has true meaning,
    Perfect is no longer an exaggeration.

    As I sit here,
    Completely naked,
    Eyes closed,
    Legs crossed,
    I find that there are no limits,
    Concrete becomes abstract,
    Finite becomes infinite.
  10. Paisley Skye

    Paisley Skye Member

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    summer evening/strolls on by,/leaving wafts/of gulf-coast scents/behind;/good time for dreaming/(but my eyes need to/be open)--/there's still so much/to see--/sight and scent/come close together,/no distinction now/'tween one & the other. paisley skye.

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