Problem with future sister in law...

At the time when I first posted this, I was more spiritual than I am now. I genuinely wanted to help people, including her, but as time has gone by, I don't care as much regarding "helping her" as I used to about the sister. I have accepted the fact that she isn't going to like me, no matter what I do, such as praying for her, acting nice, etc. It still hurts that she is a heartless bitch to me (Last thing she said to me when I was suicidal was "to be stronger." She would never say that to her brother when he was suicidal). I am developing strong feelings against her b/c she has done a lot of fucked up shit to me in the past year. My fiance accidentally had my meds with him at her house and she tried to stop him from giving them to me, which I NEED or I have serious mood swings. Basically, I just want to rant about her. Maybe getting out all of this frustration might help. I don't know.

Oh and another thing that pisses me off is that I got her and her kids free ride and water admission passes to a local theme park (which was more than they could afford). Did she ever thank me? No. Was she friendly? No. I feel used and that is the last time I will ever offer anything to her.

I can't help her become a better person, that is her decision and if she wants to remain in my family's life once I get married and have kids, too fucking bad. Her brother can see her and talk to her all that he wants, but I'm not going to name any of my kids after her and she can fuck off if she wants a relationship with them. I think she's burned every bridge if she ever wants to develop a relationship with me. I have given her chance after chance to mend our problems, but every time she has resorted to petty name calling and shitty remarks. I don't want my future children around someone like that.

Peace and love

 

No, I just wanted to help improve people's lives by being a good person. I am not going to save anyone. If you think trying to be a good person is fucked up, I feel sorry for you.

Peace and love

 

When you say things like that, you do sound like the savior of the world. What I was getting at is you can't 'free her from her suffering' only she can do that.

You can only be you and she will have to accept you or not. That's her choice. Not yours.

 

From your post, it sounds like you need to do a little research into Buddhism, which I was following closely and was trying to live up to the commitments I was making at the time. One of the daily vows is TO RELIEVE THE SUFFERING OF OTHERS. Do you accuse the Dali Lama of sounding like a "savior" when he speaks of relieving the world of its suffering?

These were the vows that I was making:
"However innumerable sentient beings are, I vow to save them.
However inexhaustible the defilements are, I vow to extinguish them.
However immeasurable the dharmas are, I vow to master them.
However incomparable enlightenment is, I vow to attain it."

I guess I shouldn't assume that average person knows anything about the basics of Buddhism. My bad. Next time I get that into Buddhism, I'll write disclaimers stating that I don't have a savior complex, just doing my part in helping the people around me and practicing my faith.

 

Unfortunately (maybe), neither you, me or the Dali Lama can 'save' anyone. You can only help them along the way.

 

If you ever do succeed in saving someone, you'll likely lose yourself.