Premature ejaculation

How much of the population actually "suffers" from premature ejaculation? If it's the majority of people, by today's standards, wouldn't it make premature the norm and those with longer stamina, I suppose, the more untypical ones? And if this is the case, by trying to "deal" with premature ejaculation with the use of therapies and technique, wouldn't it be an attempt at altering the natural course of things? Not that that's wrong or anything. We as humans have come to a relentless need for altering the natural course of things.

So, technically speaking, premature ejaculation is the normal way for it to be - it's really not premature. Maybe those of us who last a long time are the ones with the "problem".

I know when I first started having sex, or if I haven't had sex for a while (depending on how long it's been), at the first get go, usually I ejaculate premature, but after a few times, things get back to normal, but when things get back to normal, It's hard for me to ejaculate - much of the time I'd rather ejaculate prematurely.

I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else or if it's all BS. I'm high.

 

Ok here it goes...ive bin reading this thread with great interest and all tho for some stange reason it makes me feel better reading everyone else's problems it also frustrates me because i have been trying for years to get over PE and i cant seem to get thru this. I really am loosing all hope of having a normal healthy sexual relationship with a woman. I am a 24 year old male and i have been struggling with PE ever since i started having regular sex. I lost my virginity at the age of 15 but then didnt have sex again untill i was 19 and have had this problem ever since. Before i had sex for the first time i used to masturbate all the time and i believe i have trained myself to come quickly. I have tried so hard to reverse the cycle by wanking all the time without cumming but this doesnt have any effect on me at all. But then again maybe i have not been doin this for long enough? I usually give up after a month or so as like i said it doesnt seem to make a difference. I am currently in a relationship but my partner is getting just as frustrated as I am and i know that i need to solve this quick otherwise im gona lose her and i defs dont want that, it wud destroy me. Ive tried so many different things and nothing seems to work, ive tried Hypnotherapy, Pills, Performance condems - u name it ive tried it. The only thing that i have had some joy with is viagra - but this doesnt actually cure my PE, it just means that sometimes i can get hard again straight after i have cum - but i dont want to have to rely on this for the rest of my life.

I know that i should try to relax more during sex but its easier said than done. I cant seem to get it out of my head and within a minute, 2 if im lucky i cant hold back anymore.

Without coming across as being pig headed and would actually class as myself as a good looking man who looks after himself and does well with the rest of his life so why am i having this problem?? Wow...ive typed more than i realised, sorry to waffle on and the bad spelling etc but i really duno wot else to do. Please please please can someone help me and give me some advice. I will try anything

 

im pretty sure this is natural and serves a purpose, sterilization or something like that if im not mistaken....so theres not reason to be embarrassed about, everyone does it

 

My number one way of bringing a girl to orgasm with me, is to imagine that the feeling in my dick is between us, not simply in my dick. I then imagine the feeling as a ball of energy and emit the energy into her vagina, as much as possible. Like I just give away the feeling and tell her to take the feeling, with my looks and words and vibes. Sometimes girls get a ego rush out of making u come very quickly and if this is the case, as a sensitive partner you will feel it and it will be more difficult to. I suggest talking about how it makes her feel about herself to make you cum so quickly, as well, it may bring up to subconcious emotions and vibes that affect your performance. haha

on second thought, a person does not perform sexual intercourse. Like magnets that click with one another, each person within the experience, is as nessecary as the other to make the experience. The idea of performance is merly a misunderstanding - such as is tha idea that two magnets were brought together because one person decided them to - no dammit, it takes two baby, me and you babay, me and you.

 

Also, your desire to be straight may be working against you in ejaculating prematurely, especially considering that homosexuality is unacceptable in our society....besides human rights and laws, gay people are still 'gay' you know. Sucks but its true, people who choose to see through their sexual repressions from a young age instilled in the mind and express their sexuality to the fullest are socially awkwarded in our male macho culture.

I suggest you take a look at your want to be normal and if it MAY be a part of your PE. For example, test your mind to see what you think about homosexuality. If you have never thought about homosexuality, (NOT if YOU are HOMO ) but if you have never really thought about it personally and thoughtfully, then u most likely suffer from this idea and the excitement of bieng straight(which is something we are brought up to feel good about)

 

That sounds like an extreme leap to conclusions to me. It actually sort've reminds me of the logic of the oppressors during segregation. (No offense meant there.)
Sort've like 'see, when something bad happens to blacks in the white world, it's because they can't handle it; segregation is natural for them'
Yours is just more along the lines of 'they are only prematurely ejaculating because they can't handle straight sex; it's unnatural to them.'

Closet homosexuality is a bit of a newly discovered phenomena to the mainstream Westerners. Before, most homos stayed closeted, and some of us may have heard rumors. Now, the whole world hears about bathroom incidences and pedo-priests on the news. This, however, does not mean it's any more frequent.

Likewise, premature ejaculation is a relatively new phenomena to us moderners. Just in the 40s, a gentleman would never talk about that sort've thing. And with the ego-eruption of the 80s, that has yet to cease it's so difficult to get honest understanding.

The only connections I see between these two things on average: relatively new to our collective consciousness and that they are socially sneaky and therefore everyone may be suspect. Your theory seems to rely purely on the later, and seems fueled by the former, with a bit of a wild imagination thrown in.
(Though I do not dispute that it may happen, I think to leap to the assumption that it happens on any widespread scale, even a scale that would make it worth mentioning without prompt, would be absolutely ridiculous and foundless.)


PS - in many circles these days being gay is the coolest thing possible.

 

Your comments, made little sense to me. RE-iterate it please.

It seems like you didnt understand me. I was talking about the drive to be straight in this society is generally subconcious, like most drives to feel that people do not prceive you as a threat, which is what many people view homosexuality in my area. Toronto and Greater toronto Area (given some small exceptions, ie. Hippies and gay community). This drive is something that can make it, at some level, mostly subconcious, to ejaculate in the presence of sexual intercourse with a women. I imagine that it can be a great barrier to some who cannot yet tolerate the idea that they might be gay in any way, and any chance that they may be.

This is may be especially true for those with a histroy of sexual questioning and exploration because the prospect of resolution through an orgasm, peace of mind through a pleasure, may excite one to forget of the others experience and focus completly on the feeling quickening the amount of time you ejaculate. I believe that PE has alot to do with focus and this emotion, this drive for resolution and acceptance can hijack a large chunk of our focus, generating such results.

I think in general this problem is multifaceted and it takes a number of things to undue once in place.

One more way to increase the chances that it wont PE is this; when your partner is giving you 'head' or 'blowjob' imagine that a ball of concious energy that receives and gives pleasure is blowing up like a balloon everytime they stroke, the more the bigger. The position of this balloon is just underneat your balls. Now have faith in your mind and focus HARD on bringing that balloon up the spine to the top of your head. TO acheive this, it takes pure imagination and practice, also it helps if you share a mental bond with your partner(probally one of the most important things). Once its up, keep it up and ask her to come on top of you, always start intercourse this way and focus on her eyes and her level of pleasure. LEt her know you Want her to cum, but is in no rush too. When you feel like its time and her focus is running short, fuck her till she cums, keeping in mind to focus on that balloon bieng UP and no where near your balls and guts. Then once she has come, BRING that thing down...otherwise the opposite happens and you wont cum....(as you read this last sentence see how you feel about not cumming and relate it back to my first post)

Have fun this might work in relation to other things.

 

BTW I have acheived complete control of my orgasm with this technique. It has been the most satisfying as wel, though I do admit, if taken over board, like anything, it can hinder your experience. DO NOT go overboard. Balance, my friends, maintain a balance.

 

I don't think I misunderstood you in any way. I think you are trying to say it in a way which sounds more soft, and more thought out. I still think to say that this is a large part of the problem is hugely assumptuious (sp?).

I think in a lot of cases, PE does have a subconscious reason. I also think that these reasons are vast, and you focusing on this straight thing is ridiculous.
I agree totally that society's ideas of sexuality are way off base, and the assumption that straight is the normal way to be is arrogant and erroneous, and only perpetuates that error further.
I myself consider myself to be very active in the fight to open people's minds when it comes to sexuality (as well as sexual relations and yada yada), but you can't let it consume you.
You seem to be putting your theories and feelings into an area where, they definitely do fit, but you seem to be over-generalizing the problem to me - which is always a killer of great theory.

Although, I now feel I've misstated when saying it was wholly inappropriate; I just feel you could have introduced it in a manner that would have made you seem way less radical and arrogant. (You sounded a bit like a conspiracy theorist =P)

 

wow, people are having this problem? never heard of it.
my girlfrind would leave me if i had this.

 

I had a guy with this problem once. I just made him go down on me until I came. I don't mind if I don't come when we have penetrative sex, but either handle my business before or keep some energy up to handle them after you come. Give me two or three hard orgasms with your mouth before you fuck me and I really am in such a state of mind that I don't care how or how long you fuck me. Jackhammer me right from the beginning if that makes you feel nice

 

"I think in general this problem is multifaceted and it takes a number of things to undue once in place."

I think it would have helped your feeling of me bieng arrogant and errenous if you simply read my post. I imagine you did not and encourage you to read the persons full post before you make a comment that contradicts what they said most likely because you think you have them firgured out.

Ie. "You seem to be putting your theories and feelings into an area where, they definitely do fit, but you seem to be over-generalizing the problem to me - which is always a killer of great theory. Refer to the first quote of my post, just after the stuff you quoted.

To give further reasoning for this, I also assumed two things when I stated the theory; that excitement is generally a problem when it comes to PE and that excitement, to some extent, can be successfully attributed to being straight and the notion that one is in line with what the majority of the persons relationships(collection of relationships being the person society), does not hold contempt and fear towards in some way. In line with what comes natural to one, does not have to be against another closely held one to rebuke. I know that this occured with me to some extent and it works the other way to, it did not allow me to orgasm successfully, due to emotional and mental interferences which did not allow me to focus. Indeed focus is the key when it comes to PE.

The second thing I assumed was that excitement takes a persons focus from them. Naturally, as subconcious thought processes cause an excitement that arises from the socio-psychological construct we are questioning, a person can be overly-excited until they come to terms with this pre-conditioned response.

My experience says this is true. Once I realized that I did not need to be in the presence of people who were sexually repressed and oppressive to those who FIND a need to express it, I felt a huge ease come to my heart and mind. This ease was quintessential to my capacity of recreating my sexual experience and gaining full control of my ejaculatory response. Obviously, it was not the complete cause of this issue, as it is multifacted and explorational.

The technique I have written about was what followed this revelation from GOD HIMSELF hahahaha. Just kidding, unless you beleive in GOD, by which I apologize for the inconvinience.

 

Hey cutter how can I PM you I am new to this forum?

 

Sorry

 

I meant Cutted.

 

Gay guy here, I get what you are trying to say, but you're basing it on some basic misconceptions every other straight twit does.

You think gay guys are not sexually repressed? You think cos we are gay we have access to the hottest gay guys? Dude, the rules are exactly the same, if we are a 7/10 we can go out shag as many 3/10s as we want, just like the straight guys, doesnt mean we arent going to bust a nut, pine over the 10/10s and premo with them.

Any extra pressure in the way you are talking about for the straight guys, it would have far more to do with the pressure of being a stud than pressure to be straight or normal.


You talk about controlling orgasm, where is the fun in that? Isnt the hottest sex between man and women when you are both really horny, cant resist each other and get it on and both cum as quick as possible?

Where is the fun for the guy if he has to think of dead kittens or doing math problems in the middle of sex? Why is the emphasis on the guy lasting longer, why not try make the girl cum quicker?

I dont mean to shift blame towards the girls, but why is it game over if the guy comes too quick, why not just do a bit of oral until you are ready to go again?


The answers seem simple to me, if you are a premo just find a girl that prefers oral or clit stuff to penetration and make it all about hands and mouth.

Whats wrong with saying to a girl, Sweetie, lets just 69, you're too friggin hot or I'm way too horny to last the regular way.

Or if you are the other way and a guy that takes too long to cum, find a girl thats into anal.

All guys and girls are different, some girls are quicker cumers, some arent, some only really work with intercourse, some only work with oral. Some guys are way too sensitive downstairs some arent.

I'm not sure I really believe premature ejaculation is a problem in itself, more that a couple are mismatched sexually. Doesnt matter who the guy is, the longer you leave not having sex, the hornier you get, the less time you are going to last when you finally do get some.


Gay guys, despite what many think, seem to be a lot more about oral and mutual masturbation than straight people. So many of us dont really get it - if fucking isnt working for you just get each other off in other ways

 

To PM me you need to be a Member. Guests cannot PM.

 

double post

 

Nickolas - everyone should have your problem. Read the initial post here and see if any of these ten techniques help you retard your orgasm somewhat. PM me if you want private advice.

 

take anti-depressants, it will cure u within 6-12 months