I stepped into this blog, if you just want to stress again the fact that many gay people believe "bisexuality isn't a thing" "But it's all gay to me. Or maybe I'm just old fashioned. I don't like sexuality to be fluid or transitional. If you like dudes, then you like dudes. If you like women, then you like women. If you occasionally cross that line that's cool but just don't deny where your umbilical cord came from. I don't like the idea of the pansexual (or the omnisexual) that indiscriminately enters relationships without regard to genitalia. Politically, it does nothing to help the movement for civil rights for full blooded homosexuals. " http://www.malemediamind.com/ "full blooded homosexuals", like horse breeds.
The issue these guys are facing here is simply that they are focused on other people's sexual orientations. The notion that someone is bisexual, gay, straight, pan- or omnisexual is no consequence to me. I may be interested in having sex with this guy. He may be accepting of the idea or not. Hence, we either end up getting at it or not. If I had rejected all the straight, and bi guys who sucked my dick, and let me fuck them with abundance, my sexual life would be very miserable. Why would I worry about whom this dude was having sex before or after our encounter? He is a free adult. What goes on in his sex life is his business. Not mine. When it comes to LTR and issues of the lifestyle, you may want to talk this through. But on a day-to-day level, sexual orientation of other people is really only theirs to worry about. KD
Totally agree with you, but saying that "bisexuals do no good for the civil rights of homosexuals" is a pretty *dangerous* thing to say, IMHO. It's a bit as if M.L.King said "Caribbean people are a threat to the freedom of Afro-American people".
That's all nice sounding theory, and its awesome you take that higher stance but the problem isn't gay guys not having sex with bi or mostly straight guys. They do that all of the time. The problem is a lack of respect, which does make bisexual guys feel isolated, even when their getting laid. It's true, someone else's sexual orientation is their business, in theory, but a majority of the worlds population makes it their business in practise. Reading your post its looking like you're speaking from a moral high ground, where things should be and I agree with your position, I take that one myself, but many do not. It's not good enough to just teach people higher ways of thinking who are on the receiving end of this prejudice, it's better to teach them how to dodge that negative environment. For example, when I admitted I was bi I assumed gay guys would be accepting of that, and be receptive, instead I found they were really bigoted about it which inevitably led me to just avoid saying I'm bi to dodge subtle shame and humiliation. Now I just say I'm gay unless they reveal their mature enough around the issue. Now one may argue we should be open, to further our cause, but the situation is more complex than that, a lot of bi guys are craving affection and sex now, and to make it far more comfortable for them it's perhaps best to hide the bi or fluid label initially, while in the long term working on the bigger picture which is furthering our legitimacy.
I share your view, BiCross9. Once I was checking on a dating site and a guy I know in "real life" came across my profile and said "oh, then you're gay, I didn't know". I replied: "I don't like labelling myself, but since you've mentioned it, I can say I've had things for both boys and girls", to which he replied "oh-oh, do you want to know what I think about bisexuals?". And to which I didn't reply, because I don't care and because I already know what this person thinks (gay in denial, not brave enough, blah blah). And the whole thing of *having opinions* on other people's sexuality, as smart as having opinions, even strong ones, on other people's hair colours.
I never thought that I was taking any moral high ground whatsoever. I am a practical dude, and I am happy to share my experience with the others. It is only up to them to decide if they wish to apply it to their life situations or not. The notion of seeking other people's acceptance and respect for what is universally deemed to be a private and intimate matter of every individual is one of the worst common fallacies of our times. People see absolutely no reason to grant you any acceptance just because you are seeking it. Why would they really want to do that? What is in it for them? Sure, a number of people out there have the good and positive attitude, and will be welcoming you, no matter what your identity may be. But many others will remain on the selfish, self-serving side of the issue. Remember the saying that "poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of others"... I can only feel for your desire and craving for both sex and affection. If you try to see the world from the perspective of your exclusively gay or exclusively straight partners, you will see that both functionally and practically, the BI notion means very little to them. They are seeking matching partners, and you may or may not be one of them. Your bi-identity is of hardly any consequence to them, unless you are looking into an LTR. Your through recognition and full acceptance are most likely to come from people who are sharing the same experience with you, i.e. from the bi folks. They have vested interest in understanding you, and sharing reciprocal recognition with you. Gay and straight partners will be always lacking this real-life dimension. Consider yet another fact. Most men ARE straight, and most men are overwhelmingly part of the straight male sexual pattern of behavior which by far excludes having regular or frequent sex with other males. They are the majority. True but largely irrelevant for millions of gay or bi guys around the world who are having very fulfilled sexual life. Apply the same thinking to the issue of the private nature of your sexual orientation. Yeah, tons of people are very inquisitive. They love to be "informed", and are sending a sublime message out there that they are liked, and know many people, and well, they "know" things. Shrug with your shoulders, and let go. They are talking - you are enjoying... KD
This line of thinking points to the conclusion that struggling to be recognized is futile, which maybe true in this case, however; history has shown this form of group conflict can and does lead to acceptance over time. Letting go and being passive is exactly correct sometimes, other times though, a battle is exactly what's needed.
Yes, gay in denial, right, because that raging hard on I get to the sight of wet pussy, followed by my urge to lick and suckle on the clit and labia, is clearly a symptom of my inner homophobia and self hatred. 'Sigh' When will I love myself damnit!!!
I am all for the recognition. I only do not see what needs to be recognized, and what would be the benefits thereof? If you are dating another male or other males, you are functionally a gay man. If you are dating females, you are perceived to be straight. If you are dating both sexes at the same time, you are facing steep odds that one of your partners would not be happy with this. Should he or she be happy about it, what kind of recognition would you seek? It seems rather improbable at this time that any recognition would grant you the right to marry both. Some countries do recognize the right of concubinage but that is as far as this goes. Most people of both sexes tend to lean heavily on monogamy. No doubt, quite a few people live in open relationships. Very few however, will agree to live in an open relationships with partners who are dating members of both genders. The simple demographics speaks against the likelihood of recognition with legal and economic consequences. KD
Polyamorous families are more numerous than some think. There are families with two mommies and two daddies and they all sleep in one big bed. They share everything - the wives the husbands - the parenting, etc. It's complicated. It's frowned upon. It will be a long time before it's ever legal in the USA. What I've heard lesbian women say is that they don't like dating bisexual. Bisexuals are discriminated against by gay men and women. That leaves them a small dating pool of only other bisexuals. I hate that, but people are just prone to being that way. It reminds me of black people who shun light skinned blacks because they have mixed blood. I dream of a day when there are no barriers and no prejudice toward anyone.
Ok, so I didn't invent anything, someone actually said that. Oh God, the world is a complicated place and even the "outcast" (of every kind) have a hard time accepting diversity.
The answer is in the question itself. You dont even understand what he means, by civil rights, what do bisexuals have to do with our civil rights. That is, getting nonsense from everyone else for behavouirs that come from bisexuals. The vast majority of bisexual guys are on the down lo. This is your online persona. But in real life, you are an out and proud bisexual are you?..... to everyone So this means you sit down with your grandma and have girlie chats about how much you both love big cocks? No? Then your mum, other family members No? Then what, eventually your kids...."Daddy, whats a rimjob?" As I said, the answer is in the question. If you were what you say you are in real life, where actually out to anyone, you'd know how dumb the question is
Well, firstly there are no questions in my post, secondly I haven't said anything about what I am in real life. The whole thing about talking about my sexual preferences with my family seems a bit off-topic too. What I meant is that I'm always stricken by the fact that a non-straight person *has opinions* on other people's sexuality and claims not to like the idea of pansexuality. Accordingly, straight people would be excused for *having opinions* oh homosexuality and for not liking it. Gay not accepting bisexuals = Straight not accepting homosexuals Just the same thing. Many bisexuals might even be on the down low, but if in a parallel world civil rights for homosexuals were accepted everywhere and in all forms, then this guy would probably still be "against" bisexuals, finding them just an ambiguous and grey mixture of the untouchable black and white that life is made of. If you read his post again, you realise it's just not fair. Try to change all the "bisexual" into "gay" and all the "gay" into "straight" throughout the text, and you'll see what I mean.
And if you read even more carefully, you will se that when he says "ora maybe I'm just old fashioned", he is mimicking straight men claiming that they don't understand homosexuality because "they're old school".
Here, here. Like the song in La cage, "I am what I am." I like pussy and cock. I'm bisexual and fuck you if you can't accept me the way God made me. Fuck your labels. You think gay rights are challenged. Bi people are totally invisible, but watch out when we do "come out." I think we're in the majority, but have zero proof.
