My wife is 16 weeks and is finding sex less and less pleasurable as the weeks pass. Everything feels weird down there and she feels me pushing on her bladder with each thrust and her mind is on that not on the good sensations. She 's always loved when I finger bang her but even that isn't feeling so good these days. What should I try to help alleviate her discomfort?
Back off. She's told you multiple times that she isn't enjoying vaginal penetrative activities, or at least finding them less pleasurable. It may be physical, including hormonal, or it may be psychological. Even if it's completely in her head, it isn't an indication of a mental health issue. It's perfectly healthy not to want to be poked when you're already pregnant. She's also probably beginning to show at 16 weeks or will be soon, and how her body is changing may not seem all that sexy-looking to her, affecting her desire. That doesn't mean that you can't share physical intimacy. Explore her body. Do what feels good to her. Simply stop poking her, unless she asks you to. Spoon her naked in bed, and let her take the lead, or get a good night's sleep, as she chooses. When it comes to your child, she's doing all the work right now. She'll continue doing most of the work until she stops breastfeeding. Give her some room to adjust to the new reality that you're not just a couple anymore. Every woman is different, as every couple is different. However, if your sex life looks nothing like it did before she was pregnant until 6-12 months after the baby is born, that would strike me as perfectly within the normal range of human experience and expression.
I knew I should have added that she wants to keep doing it we just need to find ways that are more pleasurable. What positions are likely to be more comfortable - doggy?
Why are you still initiating and trying to be in control? You say she wants something more pleasurable. She has to tell you what that is, or guide the activity. If she says she wants to do it, but won't initiate it, and won't tell you what to do, then she doesn't really want it. When people want to do something, they find a way. When they don't want to do something, they find an excuse. You can't read her mind, and no one here can tell you what she may like better than what you've already been doing. The only answer to your search is in your own bed and through honest conversation with your own wife. No random stranger posting on an anonymous internet forum, including me, can help you. It has to come from your wife. I told you that in my first answer. It's still the case. My experience in sex through pregnancies is totally irrelevant to your situation, other than that honest communication is the lifeblood of every healthy relationship. No one but the two of you can tell what position you may find mutually pleasurable, and what feels good today may not 8 weeks from now. You have to use your words, not here but rather in your own bedroom.
