Pregnant dating?

Dont look for a guy. Focus on your baby. If a guy comes around and hes the right guy, then take things from there. But you shouldnt go out looking for him.

 

I never said i was worried, that's just something i thought of and is a total afterthought to me dating... it didn't really even need to be said but what i wrote was taken into a more serious and literal context than i meant it...
I don't worry about the difficulty of vaginal birth because i believe women who know how to trust their bodies and who are prepared for and aren't afraid of what's happening to their body will be able to give birth vaginally with no complaints... I'm prepared.

no disrespect but, feel free to read the rest of what i wrote and hopefully you'll change your mind about the fact that I have no life and need to completely never think about myself again and dedicate every waking moment to a baby that isn't here yet. I have a life, i love it, and will love it more when I'm in the last months of my pregnancy preparing my home for my new family member, and once i have that new family member it will add to my life, not take away from it... i have an insatiable need to nurture and having a baby to care for isn't really a big bummer for me... I'm not some irresponsible 16 year old girl. My head and heart are in the right place

any sensible mother would tell you your life doesn't end when you have children... anyone i know who has children and has no life made it that way on their own accord, i know plenty of people with children who are amazing parents and still have a life, it's just a life with a baby in it... having a family makes life better not worse.

 

You seem like a very grown, nice, mature woman. And youll meet the right guy someday. I just dont think now is really the time, although its possible.. And youre gonna be a good mom i can tell, so dont worry about what people say.. cause multiple girls my age got pregnant this year and theyre smoking and drinking and shit while theyre pregnant and im just glad i never knocked anybody up. I couldnt live with myself if my kid grew up disabled because of something a parent did simply because of being irresponsible.

 

That is a little extreme. A child doesn't mean a parent's "life" is over at all - unless the things that define your life are (for lack of a better term) "bad".

To the OP - don't stress about how rude everyone here is being to you - people tend to lose their compassion over the internet.

Dating will be hard for you b/c the people that you would normally be dating (students, young adults) are not a group that is generally super excited about raising a child.

Plus, many STIs put unborn children at severe risk (ie: herpes puts children at risk for blindness).

Combine the "lower quality" people you have the opportunity to date and the increased risk to the child, it may not be a bad idea to be chaste for 8 more months.

 

I am focused on the baby, very, I am eating healthy and taking very good care of my body and as of right now that's all i really CAN do for him or her... I already got a beautiful crib for only $40! and a bassinet for $15! but I've got plenty of time to collect baby items and save money at the same time.

as i posted earlier, pregnancy is a waiting game, there's only so much you can do while the baby's still inside. and I'm doing all that.

All the bases are covered and I'm not going to be horribly lost or devastated with no man in my life, but it WOULD be nice to meet one. That's all I'm saying.

this thread has turned into a questioning of MY situation and my parenting skills, and I definitely don't feel the need to prove that point...

instead of assuming I'm an unfit parent who's irresponsible and knocked up looking to get my fuck on... please take into consideration what I've said when posting, I plan to be the best mommy ever and no less, and would never do anything that would compromise my child's well being or my life with my child...

I'm merely expressing the interest in meeting people, and people should still want to meet me wether I'm pregnant or not...

only one person has brought up a valid point pertaining to actual mature dating while pregnant circumstances... and that is, when men see the bump they assume I'm taken... that's the only setback I've been able to think of... and some men would be afraid to have sex with a pregnant woman for fear of hurting her or the baby...

but this is not about sex guys and I'm sorry if i made it seem that way...

I'd just think of it as a nice bonus to meet someone who could be a good partner and friend to me...

there's nothing wrong with me hoping that when i put the little one to bed at night (once there's an actual schedule and i don't have to take every second of baby sleep to sleep myself) that there would be someone who would like to spend time with me and sip tea and watch a movie or just talk to me.

there's no crime in that is there...

 

when i say you'll have no life, i don't mean that you won't be able to enjoy time to yourself. afterall, it is essential to your child that he or she have a happy and healthy mother. however, worrying about dating someone when your life is about to change in ways you could never imagine, shouldn't even be in your thoughts right now. having and infant will most certainly leave you with little or no time to establish a healthy relationship with someone.

i also agree with the fact that if i met a girl that was pregnant and out looking i wouldn't think the best of her. golddigger? psycho? slut? im not saying you are those things, but you will only attract certain types.

 

p0ly your Quote is funny..

 

The problem is your situation is a lot more complicated than most girls your age and finding a guy who isn't scared shitless by the fact that you are pregnant by SOMEONE ELSE is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack. Those guys are out there but goooood luck finding them. If you're only 15 weeks along, you likely aren't showing that much yet, but as soon as you are, you're going to have one hell of a time even getting guys to give you the chance to tell your story. Most single guys in their 20s see a baby bump and run the hell away. These posters aren't assuming anything about you that some guy you don't know yet won't assume. It sucks, it shouldn't be that way, but it is, and that's reality, and you just have to learn to live with it. Instead of looking for guys, look for friends, look for healthy fun, and let the guys come to you. There are guys out there who aren't scared of single moms, but finding one shouldn't be a stress you put on yourself right now.

 

I just want to meet someone who will bake muffins with me and sip tea and watch daria and laugh with me!

That's not so bad.

once compatibility is proven and i like the guy and like having him around then he'll probably be willing to get tested if he knows it's important to me and i'll be willing to sleep with him.

I'm not looking to screw the first guy who's interested, why would i let anyone take advantage of my body right now... I'm a vessel of life!... and they have to appreciate that before laying a hand on me!

Thank you to the people who aren't judging me and see that i may just be a good mama looking for someone who sees my good qualities and personality aand likes them enough to accept that I'm going to have a little baggage (i hate that term) because my son or daugher is going to be(and already is) so important to me that i need someone understanding.

 

I can agree with that.
I know most people will assume the worst, but those people don't bother me, if they don't have time to hear what i have to say, then i don't have time for them.
but it can't hurt to look.

 

ok, this is a lesson in hipforums101. make sure you re-read your original post before you post it. sometimes we think things and then write them and get ripped apart by other forum members. it's happened to me many times. the reason we think you want sex is b/c all you mentioned was sex. not the muffins...not the daria...nunna that.

it's all good. just wait til the right time is what i think most of us here are saying.

 

I think I understood when VH said no life. Of course you'll have a life,but after having a little one,you'll not have much of an adults life for a while. The baby will have sucked nourishment out of your body throwing you off for a bit,the demands will be incessant and you may be subject to post partum depression to one extent or another. You''ll have to get your sleep when the baby sleeps(ask any mom) ,so life will be a clusterfuck for a while. Men understand this(some don't take it so well),but a man gets put on the shelf for a period of time after the baby comes along. One of the greatest joys of parenthood is the 1st time you get to go out without your baby and just TALK TO SOME ADULTS!! (oooooo--I said it!!)But all and all--it's fantatic raising little ones. I sure miss mine as little guys,but I love them as adults too. All is well,but I understand what you mean about having someone around. It's always easier. And maybe more fun!!

 

It doesn't hurt to keep your eyes open, but you also have to keep your mind open because heartbreak is an unnecessary stress to put on you and your little one. You have a good head on your shoulders, though, it took my friend 3 pregnancies before she realized her babies' daddy was a piece of shit.

 

If half the moms out there had you wisdom the world would be a better place. You know you have a tough road ahead of you and you are already getting things in place for that. You will be a great mother and you should have some very proud parents. Be paitient on the boy friend he will come along when you least expect it. Good Luck.

 

I think the daddy, since he abandoned them early in the game, should be beaten ruthlessly and then castrated.

But that;s my opinion.

 

But you won't rule it out either, will you? I certainly wouldn't. Put together a pregnancy with a sense of entitlement, and I would think it was a safe bet I left that date alone...

 

I would be willing to date a woman with a baby but there would be certain things I'd pay very close attention to so listen up:

1 - In my opinion, like all have said, you should focus on the baby for the next year AT LEAST - probably 2 years. If I came upon you right now being pregnant there is no way I would be able to tell what type of person you are or if you learned from your mistake or if you are going to be a responsible smart person after your mistake - how life for you is going to change once you do have the kid - there are just WAY TOO MANY variables right now that make dating you very dangerous.

2 - when you have returned to a somewhat normal life like when the baby is a year old or so I would look at the time between when you left the father and when I am meeting you now. If you dated a few dirt bags while you were pregnant and weren't really focusing on the child then that would probably be enough to scare me away that you didn't learn from your original mistake and are a relatively unstable person.

3 - If you made it this far and you have your life together and are a good mother then I would probably be ok with the pre-existing child and could work around it. Fact of the matter is there are just so many people out there - and there isn't just one or two or three people that you could be happy with longterm - there are tons. So why would I, as a man, involve myself with a 22 year old woman who had an unplanned pregnancy if there are ANY OTHER SIGNS of issues present as well? I wouldn't....

4 - you have to make really good really smart decisions from this point moving forward because the deck is stacked against you now. The thing you have going for you is that the good men that you are probably interested in are also the ones more likely to overlook and accept your pre-existing child - but they won't if you still seem like you don't have your shit together.

 

^ don't take advice from a birth control pill that kills bitches

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqJvHtCJvYQ"]YouTube - Dangers of Yaz Birth Control Pills for Women in ...

 

yeah, bc pills are dangerous period. don't hate on the yazzzz lol.

 

Dating while pregnant kinda screams, "Help me raise this kid!"