Post-Breakup Sex And Degrading A Past Gf

I had a girlfriend, we dated for about a year, our sexual relationship was okay at best. Then after about a year, I broke it off, felt like she wasn't the girl I saw myself staying with, just wanted something different. Then our relationship changed...

She didn't want to break up, and she took the breakup pretty bad at first. I still talked to her every day and felt bad for breaking it off and hurting her. But then things changed. She started talking about pleasing me. Asking if she was a good enough sex partner. I told her the truth, that she was fine in bed and that wasn't why I was breaking up with her. Like I said, she was fine, not wonderful or amazing or anything, but fine... She asked me once if I had just used her for sex. I said no. But then she started talking about wanting to have sex one more time, how she missed sex with me. How she wanted to please me.

She started talking dirty. I fell into it too (talking dirty), and before I knew it, I WAS talking about "using her" for sex. Like, I wasn't using her for sex before, during the relationship, but now I wanted to. And she was okay with that. She seemed to really get off on that idea. She started it, I swear... Saying she wanted to make me feel good, even if she didn't feel good. She wanted to please me... I made it clear that we wouldn't get back together, no matter what, so that her judgment wasn't clouded with some misguided thinking that if she gave me some great sex that we were going to get back together. I was clear that that wasn't an option. She said she understood.

** Warning, this is where the story gets more vulgar. If you don't think you'll like it, skip to the dashed lines...

We kept talking, getting kinkier and kinkier about the topic of me "using her" for sex. Our conversation over the next few days became dirtier and dirtier. I was saying things like "Well, we aren't dating, but I still need to cum. I wish I could come to your house and just fuck you until I feel better, and then leave. I would still use you for that..." She didn't object to that kind of talk. In fact, she seemed okay with it. She started sending me pics of her in various states of undress, and then eventually, totally nude (something she had never done when we were together). Then she was sending me pictures of just her pussy, holding herself open. Really enticing me. Offering me her body to "help me feel better"...

I felt torn, because, although this was extremely hot as a kinky fantasy, I still wondered if she was making emotional and relationship decisions about this, about giving her body to me to use for sex... Whereas I, on the other hand, was over the relationship but not opposed to using her to get my rocks off if she was okay with it, and even "into it"... So that's what I did. Like 8 times. I would talk really dirty and degrading to her. Telling her I needed to use her as a cum dump to empty my nuts, and I needed to cum inside her, things like that. She would tell me "I understand, you need to cum. It's okay, come on over and use me, my parents aren't home." (She still lived at home, but yes, she was of age, and actually she was a year older than me.)

So, I would come to her house, tell her I needed to use her to help me cum, and then I would unceremoniously, and without emotion, without kissing or tenderness, just strip her naked and fuck her, and I always came inside her. As one example, I texted her and told her I needed to cum, she told me to come on over and she would be ready for me and already be wet, and I didn't have to do any foreplay... I came in, not saying a word, pulled down her panties, bend her over her parent's couch, and then fucked her for a few minutes, without trying to make it good for her, just whatever felt good to me, and then I held her hips and pushed in deep and unloaded inside her while she just stood there, bent over and letting me squirt in her. Then I pulled out and simply said "thanks", and then left.

She never had an orgasm or even made a sound that showed that she was enjoying it personally. She was giving her body to me so that I could feel good. I don't think she even wanted to really get pleasure from it. She wanted to feel used. And she wasn't really being used if she enjoyed it too... In other words, I was getting off on the physical sex act. She was getting off on the situation of letting me use her. She said she felt so degraded afterwards, but I think it was a huge turn-on and fantasy for her to be used like that. I eventually got involved with someone else and broke off our little arrangement.

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The moral is this... Our sex life was 100x better after the relationship ended than it was during the relationship. During the relationship, it was taken for granted. By both of us. After we broke up, it was a vastly different arrangement, was much less normal and typical, and therefore much much more exciting. Also, I had another relationship where we enjoyed a few romps after the breakup just as friends with benefits, and it was much much better too. There is something about it... If you have never experienced it, it's something worth trying before you die. Hooking up with an ex, just for the sex, if you don't get it tangled up with past emotions (maybe easier for most guys than most girls statistically speaking), its the best sex I've ever had. Hands down. I'd say I've had around 200-300 sexual encounters in my life, with about 6 partners (just an estimate) and the 10 or so times that post-breakup sex happened, are all the top 10 best sexual encounters I've ever had. Hands down.

What are your thoughts? About the story, or about post-breakup sex? Is it better? Do you have a similar story about "using" someone, or someone wanting to please without getting any pleasure back?

 

Talk to her about having just a casual sex relationship. If you need to have a person at your side, seek a woman who is okay with an open relationship. Set up rules and adhere to them like word of God.

 

Put it this way, how long would you bother with a partner if you never had an orgasm?

Hard to wrap your head around isnt it. Why did she put up with it? Thats what you need to work out

 

She was doing it trying to get you back, she would do anything and she did.

 

sex with an ex being way better after she becomes an ex is nothing new....


I actually kinda had a thing for chasing old girlfriends....I still do but I only know where 1 is atm

 

It's probably because the relationship at that point can be focused purely on the carnal act, without fear of judgement or reprecussions it would have in a romantic relationship. It takes the bureaucracy out of the relationship.


To be honest, it is my opinion that all romantic relationships, reach a point in the sexual act department, where it's extremely meaningful but also just as easily casual, and extremely great just from an animal-sex perspective physically and then also not be spousal rape either.


For a man though, psychologically, the reason males might perceive the sex to be better in this situation, might be the perception of power one gets from having some women on the side, + a steady regular relationship.

Girls statistically don't care about variety that much, but SOME GIRLS really do ride the cock carousel for the exact same reasons guys do: Variety.


I'd go so far as to say that the respective sexes differentiate in the type of variety they want: Sexually active teen males and grown men put emphasis on physical variety, and a minor emphasis on personality-intimacy variety, while teen girls and grown women put emphasis on variety in personal-intimacy, and a minor emphasis on physical variety.

Do you ladies and gentleman of HF agree?

 

Just a little more info...

After we broke up, I think she just still liked me and had feelings for me so much that she was okay with completely giving me her body to use as I saw fit. I had some conversations with her that were so degrading and humiliating to her. But she never stopped me from saying them, in fact, she would usually steer the conversation that way. It started innocently enough, but got darker and darker until I was telling her that I was just using her as a hole to fuck.

And she always let me talk dirty to her and let her know the situation over and over again, we would talk a lot and most of the conversation centered around me "still having needs" and even though I didn't want to date her, I still needed to fuck a pussy and she would offer me hers to take. I would tell her that I wasn't pulling out, and she was going to have to let me squirt her pussy full of cum. I would tell her things like, for example, that I was coming over just to strip her down and fuck her so that I could feel good and squirt a load inside her and then leave. She was okay with that. She wanted to be used so bad. She wanted to be helpful to me, and her pussy was all she had left to offer, because I didn't want a relationship.

So I would come over and strip her, and she would lie down and spread her legs and turn her head to the side and just let me have fun while she was a fuck doll for me. I liked the way she would lay there with her legs spread and her pussy parted for me, and not even look at me, just giving herself to me as if she was obligated to make dick feel good. I really enjoyed having that position over her. She didn't fuck back, she didn't moan, she didn't have fun, and she didn't cum. She lay quietly and let me have her body and caressed my dick with the soft folds of her pussy until I nutted. This was about me and my needs only and she knew it. She was okay with it, she was only a toy for my dick. And when I was about to cum, she would look at me and tell me it's okay to squirt in her. She knew that cumming inside her was my ultimate turn-on, it made me feel so horny, and she was giving a man that pleasure, a man that dumped her. She was giving her whole self to the last guy that should get to have her. And that made her feel degraded and dirty. At least that's what she told me, and what made it so much of a turn on for her.

 

Are you sure it's a turn-on for her? Because it certainly doesn't sound like it. Sure, it sounds like it turns YOU on, but....... Dunno man, if you ask me, she's developed this unhealthy thing where letting you use her in this fashion has become the only way to stay with you, while you've developed this unhealthy thing where using and degrading a person like that, while choosing not to care about her needs and well-being, has become a turn-on for you. It's actually very tragic on multiple levels. I mean, it sounds to me like the girl's got some emotional issues that she needs to deal with. I don't know why she feels this particular need to stay with you, but I for one don't see it as a healthy thing at all. I think she needs to deal with her insecurity because, as far as I'm concerned, staying in this situation will do her more harm than good and she'll be more broken than she already has become.