Post-breakup Hell: Is this normal or have I made a terrible mistake?

You fucked up........

 

x

 

My mom fell in love with my dad's drunk fun personality. When he sobered up and she realized he was a quiet introvert and he realized she was annoying as hell, they separated after 10 years of marriage and multiple infidelities. That's the example I'm trying to avoid.

Must be I've oversimplified. I have strong feelings for new guy. However, I see marked differences in our personalities and what we want that will cause trouble down the road. I am okay with waiting for those things to come to a head and end the relationship. I would like to just enjoy the ride until then. This is something I plan on talking to him about, but I need to get all my ducks in a row first so I know what the hell to say to him. My feelings have all been just floating around in the protoplasmic goo of my mind, not really having a definite shape until I talk about them. Hence this thread.
And I am not resisting being alone, he is. He is needy and has trouble being alone with his own thoughts. We were friends before we were lovers and I was there for him for a shoulder to cry on before. Now that we have started dating, he is having trouble adjusting to the fact that the dynamic between us has changed and he can't be up my ass anymore or it's going to destroy a good thing long before its time. It's about setting boundaries. I've let him get away with too much. No more of that, though...

 

Needy is extremely wearing, IMO. Doesn't seem like a strong woman would fool with a needy person at all. However, I'm not a strong woman, soooooooo----

 

What I heard:

Blah blah blah blah

Blah blah blah blah

 

That explains a LOT about your most recent mental panic about relationships and marriage at the moment.

I hope your conscious mind now knows what your subconscious is doing and why it's driving you to feel the way you do. (the fear, the angst, the longing to find a path for yourself because you were insecure about the one you were on)

The fact that you are willing to walk into a situation that in the future you KNOW is trouble, and yet your still willing to let events play out.

I don't know about you but that's the complete OPPOSITE of what I do when I see trouble coming. I don't have time to waste.

 

Firefly,

after reading your last post and....
- - - - - - -
That explains a LOT about your most recent mental panic about relationships and marriage at the moment.

I hope your conscious mind now knows what your subconscious is doing and why it's driving you to feel the way you do. (the fear, the angst, the longing to find a path for yourself because you were insecure about the one you were on)

The fact that you are willing to walk into a situation that in the future you KNOW is trouble, and yet your still willing to let events play out.

I don't know about you but that's the complete OPPOSITE of what I do when I see trouble coming. I don't have time to waste.
- - - - - - - -

I have to go with AceK's vote.

 

I'm with monkjr.

I think psychologists call that Self-sabotage...

 

Oh, for fucks sake!

So she got fed up with the safe boring guy and wanted to get it ooooooon with the filthy hot sexy arty guy.

And we are going to diagnose mental disorders? and pretend this is whats best for her and not about the concept being way too threatening to you all. Lets now send her off to a therapist so she can be brainwashed back into the land of bored stoopid

 

Actually I think we're trying to help her confirm her own beliefs about what happened, since it was a very huge turning point for her and she is still partially overwhelmed with the whole thing...as it seems.

Never saw anyone mention a mental disorder...

Sure it could be a total lust thing and it is her right to have that if that's what she wants. But it doesn't seem like that's really what she wants, from reading her posts. She wanted the fun and now she feels like the fun is going to wear off anyway because of how clingy this guy is.

 

That's not our intent, your adding intentions to what we're doing.

I don't care one hoot if she goes back to one guy or another or stays single, but she has in a way asked for help and guidance about what she's feeling, and done.

That's what we're doing, it seems you're a bit biased on what you want her to do though as you must want to live the life of "the magical, exciting, and not boring".

Exactly.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKPoHgKcqag"]Marvin Gaye Lets Get It On - YouTube

 

LOL oh I missed this place...
Thanks for opinions, all, good and bad.