Post An Evil Entry From The Diary Of The Poster Before You

What naughty, dirty, evil, criminal, or nasty thing did the poster before you last put in their diary...?


Let the games begin.

 

Ok, I'll start this, even though I am the previous poster...


3/8/16
Yet once again, I woke up with a dead prostitute in my bed. It's not true what they say, aspirin and brandy does not revive them. This time I'll have to drive much further out of the city to find a dumpster to avoid raising suspicions...

 

I am going to have to stop killing people, eventually im going to get sussed! or maybe, just maybe, i now need to change my tactics!

Darn stupid cops! lmao

 

I joined a forum today. I need to use a fake avatar so no one hopefully remembers me from the sexual predators list. Hey it wasn't my fault, I thought my student was cool with it; evidently not. I just think his dad was jealous of his sons better choice in women then he has.

 

I think that elderly lady knows that I've been following her. I crossed her path 16 times in the grocery store today, and I didn't have a single item in my cart. I followed her through the checkout, and purchased only a chocolate bar. When she got into her car in the parking lot, I leaned against a lamp post close by and stared her down. I think I'll make my move soon.

 

I finally got those pesky kids from down the street for moving my garden gnome from its proper place in front of the oak tree (This time they put it next to my front step). Boy, their screams and cries must have lasted for 20 minutes before the hyenas were done. Too bad they ran down the railroad tracks and disappeared. I don't know if I should put the 'empty' crate back on that African-bound freighter, or just destroy it and pretend I never knew anything about it.

 

I punched a bus driver in the face today. He just looked at me the wrong way. Fortunately the only other person on the bus was this feeble looking young lady who definitely is new to this homeland. In any event, I'm hopefully getting my bike fixed by next Tuesday. It's up on blocks in the driveway right now. I'm going to have to erect a canvas tent over it though, to keep it out of the rain.

Sometimes I think I feel guilty about punching that stupid bus driver, but the i remember how he looked at me. At least I won't be without wheels for too much longer.

 

I awoke this morning from uneasy dreams and found myself transformed in my bed into a gigantic insect. I was lying on my hard, as it were armor-plated, back and when I lifted my head a little I could see my domelike brown belly divided into stiff arched segments on top of which the bed quilt could hardly keep in position and was about to slide... Wait a minute----that's Kafka! I've got to stop reading Kafka before I go to sleep!!!

 

I read the Karma sutra last night and well, I just didn't understand it.

 

I wish I could read better, that cute girl in the library must be wondering how I read such huge books over night! My mom didn't understand why I wanted a book on male perversion! Jees! It's not going good! Library girl, give me a break!

 

I had this guy in my library this week; can't read the open sign let alone a book. He asked if I had any books on male genetics; so I gave him a book on male perversion instead. I can't wait until he comes back and realizes what HE checked out.

 

So they think they know me? Watch out dudes, the sh** is about to hit the fan! Whaaaahhhaaaaa

 

Dear diary. Well, I've been at it for two and a half years now, and I've shagged my way all the way down the HipForums membership list to the names beginning with C. This is no good ... at this rate of progress I'll be wandering around on a zimmer and chronically incontinent before I get anywhere near the Zs. I'm just going to HAVE to up my shag rate ... which is all very well, but I'm doing one each morning, one each afternoon and two every night as it is. I think the answer is going to have to be to do them several at a time ... so I'd better start posting in the swingers section. Yes, that's it. Now why didn't I think of that before? Maybe it's because having your brains banged out four times a day, seven days a week is bad for the brain. Jolly good for certain other parts I could mention, of course. But not for the brain. Or maybe it's just because I'm blonde, and was always like that ...

 

7:00AM
Dear diary,

I can't believe that I over slept on the one morning that I really need to be up early.

I've been so looking forward to wearing my new dress today, because I know it will drive everyone at the office wild with its low back line.

I do hope that I have time to shave my back, and not be late for work.

 

Dear Diary,

Ja, it vas time again to show the local towns people the futility of deir existence. Dey call it a senseless killing, but is it really senseless? Is it, vhen in the end, dey all undershtand the senseless reality of deir entire existence? Ja, such existential gloom pervades the entire village now. So I must rest now---quietly vait until the first flowers of spring burst from deir buds in a futile attempt to again try to create das illusion of happiness and gaiety----as if the mortal coil of life were to give hope to a new dawn---a dawn promising satisfaction, or a sense of relief. But I vill once again snuff out such illusions of happiness und vell being... For all life is nothing but pain und suffering. Dey must be shown. ...Oh vhere oh vhere vould dis town be, if it vere not for me to show dem all dat the only satisfaction in life is dat one day each of us vill finally succumb to the icy grip of death as it pulls us down into the gnashing teeth of the earth maul, as the final struggles against death leave us in the cold dull nothingness dat is the finality of our being.

 

I can't talk the talk..but who the hell needs talk, with these two beauties in my hands? Hope those library doors Open up, when I say I'm coming in! I'm coming in..nerves, don't fai me!

 

Well the pub burned down. It could be from when I threw that pint of Guinness through the telly on the wall. ...or maybe that guy I lit up with the varnish. The morning paper said that 20 some people are missing. I just remember concussions, broken arms, broken legs, biting, stabbing, a hand full of hair... I remember biting the ears off of at least two guys... But one thing is for sure---those Cockney wankers know now never to insult a woman from Liverpool...

 

Dear diary,

239AM March 16, 2016

I looked into the sky, and saw
I closed my eyes, and heard
I went inward;
Stopping it all, only to begin again.
I finally knew what I had to do.

While all others were in a deep sleep, I fulfilled my destiny and ate the last pudding pop in the refrigerator. Now there is peace in the mountain valley.

 

What a day...

Despite their size, small children do not go easily down the drain.

 

Walking...faster didn't help! This woman I have now, did! Her car was really cool...now for the fall out, shame I couldn't keep her longer! But the smell is a bit...yuk!