Porn making guys feel entitled to things?

those girls are probably all lesbians

 

I think because porn is so unrealistic, its not unreasonable to suggest that it gives men an unhealthy expectation of sex.

However, hopefully most men can draw the line between fantasy and reality and understand that fantasy can only be made into reality if it is consentual.

There is never anything wrong with being vocal about what you want from sex, in my opinion. The girl always has the option to say no. If a girl says yes to something she doesn't want, I think that says more about her self-esteem than any pornography issues.

I do have a problem with the guy that said he called his girlfriend bitch and whore during sex. Now thats just disrespectful. I would bitch-slap a guy if he ever called me that

 

First I need to tell you that my „ MORALITY RADAR „ is quite off. I did some crazy shit throght my life and I dont know am I really a person to talk to. Never the less, I will sum up in little lines whats mine expiriance, and then I will sum up my answer.

First I was nerdy boy, never have girlfriend, and those ones that I got, where really Bossy and exploating my naivnes. That went on until I got 21, or 22, then I went throught shity period of my life, and I decided to CHANGE ME IN TO ULTIMATE LOVER!

Form than, I did rteally crazy shits. Somethimes around 30 I met one black PIMP and he teached me couple things about womens. I was pimpin asses for 3,4 year, and I saw that clearly pimpin aint my thing. After that, I had some muplitpe relatioships and so on. Now, I am hepply maried and I enjoy swinging life style.

So my moral compas isnt as is in most people.

Now, my answer.

Well, long time ago I learned that there is only one leader in relationships. When I first got it, I know, that form that time, I am one. It can be, but my ultimate goal is always pleasing women, so there is no shortage of satisfaction.

Well it can be unmorally, but you need to look at bigger picture. Look form ancient times, people practices polygamy as a normal thing. Its nature’s way. Next in ancient Rome, whore houses and slaves where normal thing. And too now day’s people hide behind masks and go fuck prostitutes, go enjoy some kinky sex, cheat, and lie, do all sort of crazy thing.

Also women are form young age learned to put down her need and wants, and to portray as “innocent “so somebody would marry them. All lies and masks.

For me, tell me, when was your biggest sexual orgasm? Usually it’s with a guy, (rock star, biker) somebody that fuck the shit out of you. Its nature way to condition girls for better genes production.

So when I tell you that to satisfied girl, I discovered that best way is to just do what girls like the most. And many tell you that they want good guy, nice and sweat, but their pennies are wet on solid, dominant leaders that know what they are doing. And society portrays monogamy as a normal thing for about 500 years, but if you look it carefully it’s all a big lie, and many do things that are they hiding.

So, when you tell does porn makes you too sexual and opened and kinky. For me influence of that mater was only my goals of seduction and pleasures. I can tell you that I think it’s better to know what are you doing and have girls literally call you after 5,7,8 years and tell you that you are the best man in her life, than to lie about “ SOCIETY INOCENT RULES”

[FONT=&quot]I never had girl freak out when I fucked the shit out of her. IN my life. All that incent princess did so fucking crazy shit that from some, I got discussed.[/FONT]

 

I am really sorry if this desprespect you, I only share my viewpoints.

Tell you one thing. DId you ever met a guy that can squirt you with his fingers. Have you ever met a guy that have allmoust 3,4 girls around him constantly?

Its just role playing for better sattisfaction, its not coming from a place of disrispect, its a funky fantasy that you can be striped of all rules that are past upon you, off course if you decide to play it.

There is a much more importance of place where does this coming form than actualy words...

 

QFT Bingo!

If i give a girl oral i expect to get it back and vice versa, so yes I do feel entitled in some way especially if I'm giving.

However porn does not give me the feeling of entitlement to anything in the bedroom. Porn is much different from sex in real life, it's a fantasy where a lady (or guy) will do all the bidding of your nasty desires and more. However that's far removed from reality and isn't hard to separate the two, since they are pretty far removed from each other. To be honesty i can't believe this is even a problem for men, especially ones that aren't virgins.

 

I have no doubt the people do as they see, they "go with the flow" in many aspects of their lives. I've seen people follow trends they themselves had no understanding of, or from where they originated. Why did they follow them? Well, because it appeared that a lot of other people did. People will even use phrases or expressions they don't understand, because they hear other people saying/using them. It's all about appearing to fit in with everybody else.

You're right that we should all be vocal about what we want or don't want, when it comes to sex. But sexuality is, and will always be a sensitive thing for most people. I mean, it's not the easiest thing in the world to say "uh.. no" in the heat of the moment, or explain that one's turn-on, is another's turn-off.

That would especially be so if one went into it feeling expected to behave in a certain way, or say or do something unnatural to who they were. Hence the sentiment of the question I came across, about whether or not it's okay to not give blowjobs, "will he get mad/disappointed", as she also notes he watches a lot of it in porn. Obviously, it feels like it's something she's obligated or expected to do, although she admits how much she dislikes it.

 

Hard to believe, but it is.

Take for example, another question posted by a girl on this other site - http://www.girlsaskguys.com/Sexuali...do-if-my-boyfriend-wants-blow-jobs-and-i.html

I mean seriously, a guy has got some problems if he'll leave a girl because she won't give him a blowjob... and they aren't her.

Here's another for good measure - http://answers.yahoo.com/question/i...wqd_7rgjzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20090328170953AAN3Bdp

 

Thats like saying homosexuality is new to the masses. All that is happining recently is peoples bedroom activities are becoming public. The taboo is indeed fading because of porn, people are becoming more open about what is really going on in a sexual relationship.

What makes you think anal is or was not common place till recently? And when do you think Porn "started"?

 

All that she need, can be founded here http://howtogivehead.biz/ One of my siwnger friends got his book, deam thay su.k it better now, there is mini guide for free that is quite good for starting to master how to give a blow job...

But main problem is becouse why doesnt she likes it? How come she dont want to share pleasure with her partner? For me, I would talk with her, and find out why doesnt she likes it ( usually she thinks that shes aint good, or Religion makes her not wanting, or somebody told her that " sucking do just " whores " " ) Well what ever it is, I would explan it to her so that she knows.

I love her, i treat her with respect, but if she doesnt want to share expiriances with me, well I need to find somebody that will ...

 

Want a minute, those guys *gasp* might actually like blowjobs, is that a fucking crime?! I mean they do have a dicks, and when it comes to fun dick activities blowjobs are usually in the top 3 (right next to anal and Megan Fox). Now lets not forget that some relationships do die from murderous limp-pencil-dick stab wounds in the bedroom, yet i don't hear about a mens-suffrage on women's entitlement for big dicks. When that happens you might have a point (no, you still wont), but don't make a criminal out of someone looking for the door in a relationship they aren't happy with, when you see an exit you should GO!

 

What you on about?? I shag my cable guy whilst wanking off my plumber simultaneously all the time.

 

Porn definitely makes one think about greater sexual possibilities. Whether a guy expects a woman to do a particular thing for him is a bigger issue.

For me the most frustrating thing is not getting a good blowjob. She will mostly suck on the last couple inches, moving her tongue and not much else. She'll periodically take a break to lick up and down the length of it. I don't need a porn movie to tell me that I won't generally get off that way in any reasonable amount of time. There is a natural urge to feel the sensation of fucking, her mouth bobbing or myself thrusting. I'm not trying to make her deepthroat, I just want some movement. And I do think to porn movies, wondering why she won't accommodate me to some lesser extent, feeling as if she is intentionally discouraging movement, afraid I would do something to hurt her. I do get very turned on by the extreme deepthroating videos but wouldn't try to make my girl do it.

The poster who said "TREAT her with respect, fuck her like whore," has something of a point. I don't think most girls want that, though my experiences have been limited. But I do think many guys want a girl who wants that. Many men want to be able to "fuck" the girl of his dreams, not just "make love." This probably doesn't sound revolutionary to many of you but it relates to how porn opens one's mind to the realm of possibilities. Sometimes it will be about making love...many/most other times it will be about feeling good. Many men would like a woman who can recognize that, to want to make him feel good, not treat it as a chore or a degrading act in the absence of specific acts of romance. Though a man who does not show generally romance should not expect much.

My girl and I have a very respectful relationship...but I feel our sex life suffers for it. For the longest time, making love was the focus. In the beginning, we never "fucked" per se. Any fantasies or dirty talk were kept locked away. After finding that she had been looking at watersports porn/stories, she dismissed it as curiosity, asserting that in actuality it would be the "end of romance." I would like to indulge that now abandoned fantasy of hers but she has dismissed it because it is so porn-y. Our sex life has expanded in fits and stops, allowing for dirty talk (even as it inspires the occasional surprised laughter) and even going so far as her licking my ass on the rare occasion (though accompanying compliments on my "good hygiene" evidence how difficult it is just to get lost in the moment) and she gets uncomfortable if my tongue lingers too long in her ass ("it feels better up here"...as if I had forgotten).

Before anyone reads my post as a major complaint, I realize that I'm lucky for what we do share. In the absence of porn, watersports would probably not be a thought for me, lovemaking would take even greater primacy over fantasies and fucking. Porn opens up the mind to a different view of sex. I certainly don't feel entitled, but I have a desire for sex to be as boundless as possible within the context of an otherwise respectful and romantic relationship...and porn informs me of just how boundless sex can be.

 

@ the OP. How do you feel about Cosmopolitan magazine? Have you noticed how many of the tips to "Drive your man wild in bed" in this bible of modern femininity where women learn that it is fantastic to have a carreer, dress nice and have a fantastic relationship and sex life and have the right to great orgasms involve how to give better blowjobs. Shit howdy I even saw an interview with Helen Gurley Brown where she encouraged women to let men cum on their face as it is good for the skin.

How about Oprah Winfrey. That heroine of strong, modern women, head of a multimedia empire and dictator of what ends up on best seller lists. The one who makes every decision of what goes into her magazine to make sure it fits with her lifestyle. Guess what is in this magazine devoted to the "Oprah Lifestyle" Adult Movie Reviews by Violet Blue.

I find your opinions sexist. You seem ready to blast every man who comes onto this thread about porn and whatever their sexual predilictions may be. But want us to believe that women are all sweet and pure and don't want these things. Womens magazines are all full of more of these things that you think men believe themselves to be "Entitled" to than Mens magazines do. I have yet to see in any mens magazine articles about how to get your woman to blow you, or how to talk your woman into taking it in the ass. I see in plenty of womens magazines articles and advice columns centered around their entitlement to feel pleasure and how to ask for what they want in bed. I see very little of that in mens magazines. So if I'm reading between the lines in your posts you are saying it's ok for women to ask for pleasure. As a matter of fact it's their duty as women to ask that their men pleasure them. But it is not OK for men to do so.

I am in a happy relationship of 4 years. Porn, Oral, and Anal sex are major parts of our sex lives. Here is how it usually works. She asks me if I would like a blow job. Once I'm good and hard she asks me to stick it up her ass, And usually in all of this she asks me to put on some porn. Do I feel entitled to any of this? Fuck no. Do I enjoy all of this? Are you fucking insane? How do I feel about all of this? Great I'm fucking my best friend and he's a she. Life is good.

Peace Out,
Rev J

 

Well, it kind of is. I mean, homosexuality is more accepted now that it has ever been, even though it still struggles. I don't think that's due to porn though, I think it's due to a wider acknowledgement of equality and representation of all people.

Did you know that in past decades of porn, anal sex was very uncommon? Few women in the business even did it at all, of course now it's a standard and they all do it. When it started to become a lot more common to see in porn, say about 10 or 15 years ago, you heard all of this controversy, like anal was a strange "do you really do that?" type of fetish... now it's no big deal. In fact it's almost expected.

... as for porn starting? Well, the porn industry, the way that we know it, really began around the 1970s. Although there were pornographic films and pictures long before that, I'm sure. They weren't part of a mass media.

 

You stated that you couldn't believe guys would have a hard time seeing porn as not being reality. But now you think I'm calling them "criminal"?

My point was, porn seems to make guys into self-entitled a-holes. And yeah, I do think it pretty despicable to threaten to leave someone over something like that. If that's the most important aspect of this guy's relationship, then he's got some issues.

 

You'd be wrong to assume that I'm "anti-porn". I'm just against the porn that has come to be.

What are men's magazines about women anyway? Oh yeah, Penthouse and Playboy. Just pictures and video of women doing everything that a guy could think of. Where are the men's magazine that tell men how to please women though... outside of this transplanted idea that a woman's sexuality is simply fulfilling a man's sexual desire? Sometimes when I say that, it will blow a guys mind. "WHAT? Her sexuality isn't about satisfying my fantasies?!" But I don't buy that.

That's the problem with porn, it's all about she'll this, this, this, and that for me. Rarely is it every about her satisfaction. So unless most women simply enjoying being subservient to men's desires, then at least 80% of what's shown in porn is not about mutual satisfaction (anal, bjs, deep throat, a2m, cumming on the face, swallowing, and a host of fetishes).

When you're constantly bombarded with a media overload, and everything has you by the arm, it's hard to not let fashion and trend dictate behavior and belief, who knows who's doing what because they enjoy it, or because it's as fashion or some sort of expectation. Right now I'm looking at an add at the top of this page that sums it up quite well, "everyone does it.com" In my mind, they've sold and defined you a sexuality, one that caters to you and they're making a killing from it, the American dream after all. It's really an exploitation of men's weaknesses as much as it is women's.

So your girlfriend is a tranny? Or a she-male? Because depend on which, that might actually explain a thing or two about your sex life. Or maybe I'm misunderstanding another clever pun.

 

I think most guys are able to see porn and women as different things. That's why porn exists. Not to communicate how every woman should be to the viewer, but a release for all those things we a) Probably don't want our serious lovers to be like in real life anyway, and b) Wouldn't expect our girlfriends to be. Of course it's going to be a bonus if she likes to try things that you want to try, or maybe shares similar wants and don't wants, but i've never heard of a serious relationship ending because the woman won't "do anal".

It's pretty harsh to think that because we like sex, we weren't blessed with the ability to have real relationships which are worth more to us then sex.

Some guys are assholes... some guys.

 

Well you are making him out to be the bad guy for wanting a bj.

Let me get this straight, you're saying that men don't actually like blowjobs but rather only enjoy them because they see guys getting them in porn?! Are you fucking kidding me?! Blowjobs have been around long before porn was even thought of, to suggest that men (who, lets not forget have dicks) wouldn't want a bj if they hadn't seen it in porn first is fucking ridiculous.

I actually give this dude credit, instead of going somewhere else to get what he WANTS he told his gf what was broken in the bedroom (honesty, communication) and told her how to fix it. If she doesn't want to comply that's her problem not his. Sorry to break it down to you, but this is how relationships work, and sometimes they do dissolve over problems in the bedroom as sex is an important part of a relationship.

You've seem to have made up your mind about this so i'll stop here, but that's just my $.02

 

I'm making him out to be the bad guy for expecting it, and especially for threatening to leave if she doesn't do whatever he wants sexually.

Not saying they don't like them. I'm saying they gets the idea that every girl should do as they please sexually, otherwise they're not desirable, not worth holding onto. I think the guy's do or die attitude about it stems from a belief that it's something all women do no question, and he can expect them to. That kind of expectation surely doesn't just develop all on it's own.

The way I see it, he expected something from her that he shouldn't have going into any relationship. And his my way or nothing attitude is quite unjust and shallow. Obviously a blowjob, or any given sexual desire he has outweighs the sum of everything else she offers him in the relationship. He's the selfish jerk here.

 

Tell that to Bokai. As I'm under the impression he feels that it's perfectly reasonable to end it all over something like that?