Porcelain Vase

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by TheDoorsOfPerception, May 24, 2004.

  1. *daughter's point of view*

    the shards of glass
    embedded in my palms
    the white porcelain now stained red
    didn't bother to pick up the pieces
    just let them lay on the ground instead
    blood trickles down
    and paints my whole room
    I just sit there, myself broken too
    palms facing the ceiling
    still the blood flows
    river of red.... it still goes
    almost in a slumber.. my eyes shut
    mom walks in, shocked at the sight of the place
    I lie broken
    like the blood stained porcelain vase.
     
  2. no one likes this one...:(
     
  3. Spyder

    Spyder La dah de dah

    accually i like that

    its very expressive of the vase and the blood, i love the way you have used the imagry of the porcelin and the blood together, its cross textured, i think its fab! infact probally one of the more interesting peices ive read on here as of late.
     
  4. wow, thank you very much!
     
  5. Cirrhosis

    Cirrhosis Banned

    It's as unoriginal as your username. Try structure and rhythm.
     
  6. Spyder

    Spyder La dah de dah

    structure and rhythm?


    those are important tools in poetry, but poetry isnt about order and correctness

    it should be about pushing limits, artistic expression! poetry exists to express something, dont knock the means of saying something!


     
  7. Cirrhosis

    Cirrhosis Banned

    Poetry doesn't need structure and rhythm, but good poetry does.

    And what the hell did she say? What statement did she make that's actually interesting? She just recycled old ideas, and not in a creative way. She did it in a way that I've heard time and time again.
     
  8. Spyder

    Spyder La dah de dah

    Allow me to elaborate on themes that are in this poem then!



    For a start it has the blood, which naturally is a symbol of femininity and bleeding relates to menstruation and female change and emotion. which is a powerful symbol illustrating the change from youth to adulthood, the white naturally representing the innocence and purity of youth, this alone is an extremely well don’t metaphor, intended or not, because mixed with the imagery in the second poem which introduces themes of death be them real death or the death of youth and innocence, the porcelain clearly denotes that anyway.



    This is an amazing set of expression and meaning! To be able to express and write about this in this way using the images that are used is a great task, showing the quality of the poem.



    The poems obvious comparison between the porcelain and the blood, two completely different types of material, it brings up all sorts of imagery in my mind, and conveys textures, and other sensory reactions.



    Lastly the poem is in two parts, written from different perspectives and ideals, which demonstrate a whole range of ideas from femininity, the attachment of mother and daughter, and also ideas on family and growing up.



    But im sure you realised that



    And I think the statements she has made here really are interesting and are of extreme importance! And she's used them in an extremely interesting and creative way!



    And it does contain things that have been written about for, femininity for example, but thousands of poets have written about nature, but it doesn’t make it any less interesting when someone writes about it again.



    I find this poem refreshing and interesting



     
  9. I Did not recycle old ideas.




    (Spyder) again thank you!



    and for the criticism, thanks as well. I know that I will face it in areas of life.

    Why do you have comment on everything about me? I mean a username is a username. I happen to read a book, and like one of the lines in it and put it as my username and you are gonna poke fun at that?
     
  10. Spyder

    Spyder La dah de dah

    I really liked this poem, it was completely fair enough if someone doesnt, but the way that it was mocked was completely uneducated and pointless!
     

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