Please help me...

Thank you friends for words of comfort and enlightenment, I've been on a downward spiral of sabbotaging thoughts since this happened on Christmas Eve. I half expected some kind of text from her to say thanks for the presents, but nothing, so I've been angry too, this is so unlike me...I'm so placid & try to understand issues and why I feel like I do..?
Thing is, how many times is this going to happen..? It was the same last year, I was told to leave her house after heavy drinking and found myself on the streets on New Years Eve..This was so painfull back then & all I wanted was her back to try & work things out as I couldn't understand why it happened... Turned out to be her heavy homework load from Nursing college... This happened more times throughout 2005, sometimes saved from disaster by my fun-loving side & helping her through the problems...The problem was, when would it happen again? What would be said and will it be forever next time ?? This was partly to blame for the break-up in Summer, I felt that anytime at all a row will come that I could not avoid & I will suffer again...I was trying my best all the time but when my job kept me away from her at times I knew she needed me, it just made her feel worse....Mad, fucking mad !! How much we could talk and subjects we would cover, but we couldn't avoid the break ups...They had to stop and this time I thought would be the last, we'd get back together, we'd work harder and it would make us more aware of each other and our love would grow stronger...Which it did.
I suppose she could be compared to a wonderful drug that makes you feel fantastic, loved and so happy when you have it, then painfully upset and rejected when it's gone, leaving you wanting more....Sniff ! I'm not hooked...Honestly....Sniff !! Fucking forget your grade A's, come and try a bit of Stephanie, she'll cost a fortune, will make you high as a kite with fantastic feelings never felt before...CAUTION: IT IS VERY HARD TO GIVE STEPHANIE UP ONCE INTRODUCED TO HER LOVE.
Why does this happen ? I just want an uncomplicated relationship of unbridled love and happiness together....AAAARRRRGH ! Will I be able to pick up these pieces that lay all around me ?

 

i feel the same way. i had a horrible christmas with my love, swinging from arguments to niceness and back again within hours, he humiliated me last night, made me feel so low. but we are trying to work things out, and i knew it would be hard, but i feel like my heart is breaking most of the time, however objectivly i might try to look at the situation.

only you can choose if you want to carry on with this cycle, if she is worth it, carry on, but dont let your heart be broken too many times, each time it gets harder to mend it at all. and whats more, only you can mend it, her love may come and go but you have to be ablwe to mend yourself without her. easier said than done i know. keep your spirits up my friend, a new year, a new hope, a new life waiting to unfold, and you can make it a great one, with her or without. goodluck and peace to your heart.

 

Thank you Enigma for your understanding words...It is so sad that we are both suffering so dearly, for what ?? Small amounts of happiness, for a huge amount of grief.. We are both very sensitive & compassionate people that deserve all the wonderful things in life, just like everyone does, but we suffer none the less...
Why can't others see how precious life is, how fantastic it becomes when you meet that certain, special person and share the magic that you have together...?
We both know we could move on in life and meet other wonderful people, to enrich our lives even further, but we have chosen to stay where we are to try & maintain the happiness and love that we feel for one person...
Why is a fabulous, loving relationship too much to ask from them, when it seems they only want the same...??
For every difference that makes us unique, there is a common thread which connects us all....The longing to love.
Let's forget the bad & just enjoy...
Good luck my friends, I wish you all a peaceful, loving and happy New Year..
Darren X

 

Well, to be blunt, for wallowing in your own misery! Make an effort to get over it, man! You're a sympathy junky! The woman's fucking with your head. Walk away! Find yourself a new direction in life. If you keep going back to the same old shit, you have nobody to blame but yourself.