Alright, I have this person in my life, who I love very much. He's my bestfriend. We've known eachother for about ten years, but really just got to know eachother in the last three. During these last three years of us being friends we had the pleasure of working with eachother. We're friends, and it's been pointed out that we'll never date, because what we have is too good to fuck up. But, it just seems my life is only complete to a degree. There is one element in my life that's missing, and thats intimacy. (Which because I'm aware of this it could have led to promiscuousity (oh man thats a long word!) ) but it has not. Anyway... My friendship with this person means the world to me. Long story short, we're bestfriends and everything is groovy. But one thing, I'm in love with him. He's my day and night, etc. I have really strong feelings for him. I just know that I cannot have him. Recently, he started dating an acquaintance of mine. At first I thought it was a great idea, now I think it's the most shittiest idea ever. She's doing things with him that should be done with me. It's driving me up the wall. The reason why I'm writing this post, is to ask if anyone has ever had a relationship like this. Post your "I'm in Love with my bestfriend....and he doesn't know/doesn't love me in the same way" stories. Added part: When I was 16, my bestfriend (who was also male) committed suicide at 15. Ever since then that void of having a bestfriend of the male persuasion was there until I met this person, who I wrote about above. Ironically, these two people look alike, they have the same complexion, hair, eyes, but the friend who is alive is a bit taller (I'm sure if my friend were still alive, he'd be clearing 6'1 now.) I believe somehow, somewhere my friend who died, brought this person to me. Why I'm worried is, I really really fucked up our friendship, and he also was mentally ill so anything I did, had an impact on him, and at 16 I just didn't know. Why I'm so worried is, I'm afraid that this friend now will die, and I cherish every moment with him as if it were our last. I just want to make the best of it, and have everything go smoothly, and not fight on a semi-regular basis, over stupid shit all the time. I want to make memories with this person, and if something ever did (GOD FORBID) I had something positive to go back on (not like what I do with my friend who is deceased... I have mostly bad memories because we fought A LOT....because he wasn't stable)..... What I'm saying is.... I want to make the best of this, I want to be the wife, and mother of his children. I want to be his whole world, as he is mine. That's all I ask. I know if he ever read this, he'd laugh and tell me he loved me for being such a sweet friend. The part I am deathly afraid of is if this person ever were to go insane (because I am afraid that one day he just might...*) that I would be forever out a friend, of some kind to share life with. (*My friend took Larium before he went to South America, Larium is an anti-malaria drug, that is associated with suicidal thoughts + depression. Symptoms of depression/suicide can come out a week to twenty years later down the road) Here is what a good friend does, and why he stands out from all the others: This friend I speak of, he bought my mother (who is deceased, Bless her heart. She was a fellow Barefoot too.) a flower + a card to give to her at her resting place on Mothers day. This was totally BY surprise, and all I wanted to do was squeeze and hug him and tell him how much he meant to me. All I could say was, "Wow, I'm overwhelmed by such a generous, gracious gesture." How lame is that? I wanted to squeeze him and tell him that he is my pillar of strength, and I love him so much. But, instead I had to be a lame ass. Anyway, I thought I'd give you a little insight.