Plagued by memories of great sex with an ex

I am sure some of you out there have dealt with this. Do you ever find yourself dwelling on memories of a time when you have some amazing sex with an ex? The rest of the relationship could be trash, but for some reason you find yourself fixated on that memory. It's maddening because things ended so badly that I know I couldn't go back for a one-off session. It's driving me nuts! And I have had sex with others since then, hoping the experience would squash that memory down into the abyss. No luck.

Anyone else feel my pain?

 

Yep. I’m 53 and have been married for over 30 years. Sex is great, but I will never forget my HS girlfriend, or the one I had when I was 19. In-fucking-credible sex.

 

Yes I still have thoughts about having sex with my ex. She wanted to settle down and have loads of kids, not for me yet I'm enjoying myself. We still are friends and she is going steady with someone, l suppose fucking her mother put a end to it finally

 

OMG yep. Relationship was trash but sex was outstanding.

 

Second ex often called me to fix things around her house. We always ended up in bed, even after she was engaged to her third husband. The last time I repaired her screen door and when we were getting dressed she said she was getting married the next day. Fortunately, they soon moved to another state or I probably would have committed adultery. Not that that was a problem for her.

 

Oh yeah, I was with my first wife for 28 years (married 25) when we ended up getting divorced. She was an amazing lover in every way. Several months after our divorce I started dating and had problems getting an erection. I swore (in my mind) it was because she still "owned" it and was controlling it from afar. I went to the doctor thinking it was an ED issue and got a prescription which did cure the problem but found out later it was just simply because I couldn't get her out of my mind. I masturbated thinking of her and the things we did sexually. My divorce really took a heavy toll on me for 6-8 months afterwards but then I met a woman that made all those memories disappear as she and I began creating new ones.

 

All of my wife's exes were in college, and sex consisted of the guy pleasing himself with little regard for her pleasure. As a result, she didn't have any great sex with them, compared with the sex we have together. Over the years, we have learned to give extreme pleasure to each other, much better than sex with any ex.

 

That makes two of us...

 

My first serious girlfriend was the first I went bare with. Others had asked, but I held back thinking, man don't want to get her pregnant. This girl, while riding me, asked if I wanted to feel her bare, but if she got pregnant, was keeping it. I replied not a problem, are you ok with the fact that I will be in your life forever if you get pregnant? No way in hell will I be an absent father. She smiled, raised up, took the condom off, threw it away, said we don't need these anymore, lowered back down on me. Said I want to feel you inside of me and fill me.
It was like going from black & white to technicolor with fireworks! Sex with a condom was ok before with others, but meh? With her it was great. Without it, and being at peace if she did get pregnant, was INCREDIBLE! There might have been people watching & listening through her city apartment window being open, too, didn't care. Never had such an incredible sexual experience like that! The next couple months were pure sexual energy, chemistry and bonding. Until she broke up with me, saw it getting serious, had religious differences

She kept coming back, likely cheating with me on different boyfriends over a couple years. I didn't care, didn't need to know, the sex was amazing, mind blowing. And that was without ever having a threesome she wanted to have with me and her bi girlfriends. She referred to me as "a tiger in bed". I've never had every switch & lever thrown in my mind having sex like that, nor someone with an appetite like hers, or desire to experiment. She was the one that got away, sexually speaking. Ok otherwise, but the high from sex with her, made me overlook some other aspects.

 

I understand memories being more or less prominent, but I don't understand your being "plagued" by these particular memories and wanting to banish them. Revel in them. Put them in your "permanent spank bank." There's no harm in enjoying a memory, especially a memory of good consensual sex with someone you loved, or at least liked, at the time. There's no reason for this to be driving you nuts.

It's perfectly normal to have a secret smile from time to time while remembering a past sexual experience. I have about 12 such memories involving 4 different exes, and they go back as far as 40 years ago.

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened." (Dr. Seuss)

 

So true. I grew up reading Dr. Seuss. Made me who I am today.

 

Funny, you don't look like Green Eggs and Ham.

 

Wife and I both have fond memories of past lovers. We don't feel plagued by them, but after having lost contact with them, and it being 40 years later, We have wondered what they are doing and how they are.

 

It goes away eventually.

When i was 26 i was dating this 19yr old, i'll never forget the first time she sucked my cock it was the best i'd ever had and she didn't even hesitate to swallow, then we proceeded to fuck for the next 4-5hrs, i dated her for a little over a year the sex was unreal but she was lazy, no job, no license no ambition so i ended it. She latched onto her best friends boyfriends brother and was knocked up a few months later, last i heard still lazy just has a few kids now and got fat. She wanted to hook up a few times while she was with the new guy but i turned it down, wasn't worth the hassle.

Another was a friend i had an affair with, her sex drive was off the charts...just one of the reasons she cheated on her husband, biggest tits i've ever seen and despite having two kids she was tighter and wetter than any woman i've been with but one of her true skills was blowjobs, my god i'll never understand how her husband apparently didn't like blowjobs but she gave amazing head and enjoyed it. End of the day though she eventually divorced him and started fucking every guy she went on a date with, we tossed around the idea of dating but i had no interest in raising her kids ultimately after a 5 yrs affair i didn't trust her. We're still friends but have an agreement that we never put ourselves in a situation that puts us alone together because we'd both admittedly fuck each other again even though we are in long term relationships

 

My ex-wife was incredible in the sack and loved to screw at least 4-5 times a week. Even though I’m married again I still think about the great sex when I masturbate.

 

Actually, SHE would have been the one committing adultery. LOL

Well, unless of course you were married too.

 

"Plagued" meaning that sometimes it makes me so damn horny that I want it to happen again, but tormented because it can't. And even if it could, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to go through with it.

 

"Actually, SHE would have been the one committing adultery."

Actually, fucking a married woman is adultery for both parties.

 

There are still some states where they can charge you with a crime for it, or sue for "alienation of affection". Parents and even clergy can be sued for encouraging a wife to leave her husband! They are seldom used, and some states are trying to remove them from the books. It's not always the bible belt, southern states with backwards laws. New York was the last or second to last state to outlaw first cousin marriage a few years ago.

These are sad cases where one person is seeking revenge, instead of moving on with life. My only thermo nuclear warfare acts would be violence, theft, lying about paternity or fertility, passing a deadly disease, exposure of private sex life details or photos. Everything else, I imagine it would mentally & emotionally suck, but you can move onsomewhere? The shit people went through in the USA, & moved on from 75 years ago and more, would make most of us curl up into a ball and suck your thumb (myself included)!

I wonder if a spouse stopping having sex with you falls in there sonewhere?

According to CNN, the tort has its origins in an old English law, when women were considered the property of their husbands. Most states have gotten rid of it, but "alienation of affections" is still something you can sue someone for in Hawaii, Mississippi, New Mexico, South Dakota, Utah, and Howard's home state of North Carolina.
A man just won $750,000 from his ex-wife's lover after suing him for 'alienation of affections' — a little-known claim that exists in a handful of states

... charge of criminal conversation, which refers to extramarital sexual acts.
... There's also a state statute that defines "marital misconduct" as a variety of things aside from sexual activities, including spending a large amount of a spouse's income, drinking or doing drugs excessively, and going to jail or prison, causing "involuntary separation."
A man cheated with someone else's wife and is now paying for it...with $8.8 million - CNN

Adultery and fornication: States rush to dump outdated laws
Adultery laws, which make sexual acts illegal if at least one of the parties is married to someone else: Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Kansas, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, New York, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Utah, Virginia and Wisconsin.

Fornication laws, which effectively make all forms of sex outside marriage illegal : Idaho, Illinois, Massachusetts, Mississippi, South Carolina and Utah.

 

double posted by mistake.