So my wife and I have been together for 17 years married for 12. 2 kids under 10. My wife is an avid ironman athlete and I am a bodybuilder. One of the rare times a friend of mine and I were discussing sex and frequency etc, and he asked me how many times a week we have sex and I said we have sex about 7-8 times a week. He was rather surprised given our age (late 30s) and wondered how we kept so interested in it. I told him that here's the kicker tho, my wife only Wants sex about twice a week and only orgasms about twice a week. He then was perplexed how I managed to get her to have sex with me so much. Now I have a decent job where my income alone basically supports the household and our luxury spending (non essentials, not luxury lol) We live a modest lifestyle in order to facilitate our love of Travel and so She can stay home with the kids. She also has a good job but only works about 20 hours a week by choice in order to take kids to school, raise the kids, help Maintain the household etx, train for her ironmans etx and if she has a big expense (a race or a big for herself) she will work a bit more to pay for it. She can basically work as much or as little as she wants too. I help out around the house a lot, I cook all the meals, I make the kids lunch, I vacuum I clean the toilets daily, I do the laundry I overall help clean up and make sure I am an active part of maintaining our Household. She respects this and is very appreciative of my efforts around the house and my willingness that we make less household money for her to Stay home with the kids and allowing her to Train ( she is not in the competitive race group but she just loves it). So I told my friend we have sex 7-8 times a week but she only orgasms about twice. He then asked well She just lets you do your thing with her? And I replied yes. He then went off on a tangent about how he would never allow that or even want it. But I only told him half the story. My wife is happy in our sexual Relationship (we've discussed this openly and she just doesn't have as high of a sex drive as me) and seems to be overall happy with it. I could have sex with her 2-3 times A day and be happy. Over the years I have come to accept that her sex drive will never be as high as mine So twice a week she is fully Into it, very active, we experiment we use toys, she enjoys anal, full out enjoyable sex. The other 5-6 times a week tho, the sex is just for me. She allows and encourages me to use her body. For example, I shower every night before bed so I get out of the shower in our ensuite, and she sees me Coming out the bathroom and slips her pajamas and panties off and then throws her ass up in the air on our bed and assumes the position and I come over and start rubbing her body etx. This is her favourite non orgasm Day position because it allows her to play on her cell phone freely. She scours the news, Facebook, upcoming ironman races, pays bills, shops, etc. It doesn't take a lot for her to make me ejaculate so I will caress her body, thrust into her grab her boobs And ass etc so 10 minutes later I Tell her I'm close and she puts her phone down and starts to make a lot of noise and reach back and grab my legs and scratches them etc and when she knows I'm about to Ejaculate she pretends to have a orgasm along with me. Now I know that she is faking it and I have told her over the years that when sex is just for me as I am about to ejaculate I love it when she makes a lot of noise even when I know she's faking it. I don't know why I love it but I do and it doesn't bother me that she's faking it as during the moment I'm focused on my own pleasure. Now doggystyle isn't the only Position I like so many days a week I want her on her back or her legs up over her head or her bent over the bed or her with her hands on the headboard doggystyle or with us spooning etx. But during all of this she is on her phone researching or whatever. You're probably thinking in some of those positions how does she hold Her phone etx and well she's made it work and figured it out and often preloads pages so she can set her phone down on the bed under her or holds her phone over my shoulders when I want missionary etx. You get the point. But always, as I'm about to cum, she puts the phone down and gives it the old college effort. During the build up to my climax I am Basically just using her body for my Pleasure and I just do what I want with her body and put her in whatever position I feel like (if It's just 'me sex' anal entry is off limits , I can lick her ass which I love to Do or I can rub it etx but just no entry on 'a just me' days). We've spoke honestly and candidly about our sexual relationship And arrangement and I've told her in the past that I feel bad that it's so one sided and that if it bothers her with me using her body that we Don't have to have sex as often and she has always said that she really appreciates the effort I put into our household, our kids, and allowing her the time to train for her ironman races etx and if all it takes for me to be happy in our daily life and to make my day that much better is for her to pardon the vulgarity, spread her Legs and let me cum in her daily, then she wants to do that for me as I do so much for her. And truthfully it is. I am Insanely attracted to her and have always been. I think about having sex With her at least a hundred times a day so when I get to see her Naked and presenting her ass to me, my day lifts up, and it's my happiest selfish moment of the day that's all about me. She doesn't feel used in a cheap Way and she has never shown any resentment to me that I use her body when and as I please and has told me Several times she is happy To and wants to do this for me. And I believe her. It doesn't bother me that she is entertaining herself on the phone while I use her body, it doesn't bother me that she fakes an orgasm as I'm about to climax and it doesn't bother me that I do all these extra efforts in life in order to have all access pass granted for me to enter and touch her body when I feel like it. She never says no (unless she's Sick etx ). Yes she sometimes uses it as a barter tool, if she wants a tea made or needs her bike tuned up or wants a specific Snack made she will offer me sex in exchange for these services. Truthfully, I'm really happy with the arrangement we got going on. I mean obviously I'd prefer it if she was into it 7-8 times a week like I am and was as horny as I am all the time but we've tried many many different approaches and I think this is just her and her sex drive. But after talking the limited conversation with my friend how He said he would never want pity sex And that one sided sex is so Wrong and that her using sex as a reward system for my efforts is Awful, and I'm assuming he would think it was even worse if he found out that she plays with her phone while I'm having sex with her... I'm wondering if what my wife And I have going on here is really unhealthy or out of the norm... I know it's not ideal for everyone but is it actually that bad of a thing??? And it's really made me feel like I'm doing something wrong here with her just letting me 'use her'....
I pretty much wouldn't be turned on if someone I was being intimate with was on their phone. When my switch turns off, it does so fairly quickly and that would do it for me. I'd also be offended if they faked orgasm simply for my amusement too. Lol. And if she' oonly having an orgasm 20% of the time, I think you need to up your game a bit.
