personality vs. looks

Actually THAT senerio did happen to me. Jesse showed up at my door and when opening it my jaw dropped. He was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen. It was below 20 degrees outside, I stood there with him on my deck saying nothing, just staring at him, giving him a hug or nodding in the right places. My Mom finally had to come out and tell us to come inside because it was too cold. LOL.

I'm not sure that it changed my feelings for him, for I didn't know him that well before I met him. I loved him before I met him, but things developed on many other levels once we met. But, I do know that he could've looked like a dobermen pincher and with that personality, soul, and heart of his, I would've loved him just as much.

 

are you still together stella

 

I never meet anyone I know only from the internet, so it is not an issue for me.

 

um.. no
He passed away in a car accident on his way home from work to pick me up. Almost 3 years ago now. http://www.surrealperception.net/jesse.htm Theres a lil about him and his beautiful face.

 

i'm so sorry.

 

he is beautiful dear. that is sad. i am sorry to remind you of it. but happy that you get to remember him today.

i had an ex pass on as well. his was self induced however and we werent together anymore. i see and feel him all around me though. sometimes in a sunset, sometimes in my dreams,sometimes when a butterfly lands on my shoulder.
and my mom is braindamaged from a car accident on her way home to get me when i was 13. that messed w/ me for a long time. i blamed myself a little.

 

Thank you didge.

Thank you as well Marie. Don't be sorry, I love remembering him, even though it can be sad. I'm sorry about your ex, and mom as well. It's SO hard to not feel guilt about those kind of situations. I still do to this day, for he was on the cell phone with me a matter of seconds before he wrecked (he had hung up saying there was an awful smell in his car he needed to see about), I still wonder daily if I caused it by being on the phone with him. Such an awful feeling, huh.

Jesse is all around here as well. People who pass have a certain way of never leaving us, I'm SO grateful for that.

 

i figured that you did probably harbor feelings of guilt, that is the only reason that i mentioned mom and the situation. i didnt wanna just come out and say "hey do you feel guilty about it" it always helps to know someone else understands

i am so glad that you had him in your life

 

Yes, knowing someone can relate does a WORLD of good.

Thanks Marie, I am too.

 

Hopefully I wouldn't be as shallow to overlook how I feel for them and how well we get along over the way they look... so theoretically no, I wouldn't choose looks over personality.

 

Only if they've done something to misrepresent themselves or to mislead me. Lying to me before you meet me is unexcusable, but generally, no. If I were worried about them being unattractive, I probably wouldn't be planning to meet them w/o seeing a picture ya know?

 

I have met mediocre-looking people who had amazing personalities, and they became good-looking in my eyes.
I have also met amazing-looking people who then opened their mouths and became ugly.

So I don't think I would have a problem with knowing someones personality beforehand, and finding out how they look later.
I mean, as long as their personal hygene is good.....that's really the main thing.

 

for anything other then sex i prefer the company of people
with immagination and good sense.
(that and/or complete solitude)
what they look like or even what universe they come from has nothing to do with it.

for sex they need only look pretty, keep their mouths shut,
and be easily arroused.

for love, well what i love are the fiddly bits of sustainable
infrastructure tecnologies and being creative with them.
that, and the kind of world i would prefer to be living in

ok that isn't the whole answer.
i love for everyone to be happy and gratified (spiritualy, sexualy, cretively, intillectualy, ... in all and every way) too.
(well that IS part of the kind of world i'd like to be living in
and also ultimately what sustainable infrastructure tecnologies
are all about too!)

that first maybe.

i'm just (just as in my only excuse for posting in this thread, not just as in recently) starting to get as bored with the idea of sex
as i have already been for ages with such things as
gratuitous accumulation and excitement addiction and the vast majority of their subsidiary expressions.

when i was young and had no way of 'getting any' i felt my
male ego abused. but really after the years of that, all of
my adolescent life and several times on and off since,
by the time i finnaly did end up getting married, i could
care less.

my wife IS physicly attractive, relatively, at least to me,
but i do often wish she was both more immaginative and had
what i would consider to be better sense

=^^=
.../\...

 

I went all the way to Australia to meet someone that was becoming special only to find she was quite homely. However, I had a great time and she was one hell of a cool hippie chick.

 

dang,,,,,an I was gonna ask you out...................

 

i agree daisymae, i have met some amazingly stunning men who are complete morons. i find a beautiful inside makes a beautiful outside.

 

looks don't matter to me even in romantic relationships. If I find someone physically attractive it's just a bonus but with this being said I have only dated those who I find physically attractive but it just worked out that way. I have a hard time being the initiator, agressor ect so I limit myself to those who hit on me in most cases.

 

like conventionally good looking? hmmm I don't think it would change my feelings at all. I must say though that if I meet someone and they have something quirky about them tha I find untterly attractive and adorable it makes them irresistable to me but conventional good looks do nothing for me-but again I've always ended up wiht those who the majority of society would deem attractive but not through deliberate choice on my part.

 

and the look in someone's eyes if they have that spark of light and life in them is what's most important to me in terms of attraction