personality vs. looks

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by mariecstasy, May 12, 2004.

  1. mariecstasy

    mariecstasy Enchanted

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    do you still talk w/ them sus
     
  2. Sus

    Sus Hip Forums Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Nope, too painful at the time...and I felt a little betrayed when I found out that they had a signifant other...I just kind of let it go...
     
  3. mariecstasy

    mariecstasy Enchanted

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    this is somewhat recent then? i am sorry. i hate liars!!!!!
     
  4. Sus

    Sus Hip Forums Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    About three yrs ago...fairly recent in the grand scheme of things, I guess! I'm fussy...I don't find people that I'm attracted to that easily, and it is more an issue of what is inside a person, not so much the physical...but I am thinking that someone is coming into my life soon, as soon as I get moved,and get my life stable again...that will be good!
     
  5. honeyhannah

    honeyhannah herbuhslovuh

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    I think that I would try to force myself to not think that I 'know' this person b/c I haven't met them yet, and that before we meet, I would tell myself that I am meeting a new person, and that I can't put my feelings above the fact that I don't really know this person, a lot of things don't translate through words and over the phone.

    So I would tell myself that I've gotta get to know this person, and I probably wouldn't pay the looks much attention b/c I'd be trying to get to know the person the way I feel I already do, and for me when you get to know someone their appearance changes anyway to adapt to the way you feel about them, and how you regard their personality in your mind.
     
  6. mariecstasy

    mariecstasy Enchanted

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    you dont feel that there are someways that you get to know people better without the interference of meeting them in person? for example.....we have way more intense and deep conversations on here than what comes up in everyday conversations. so you get to understand their thinking(if they are honest)
    is it a trust issue?


    i asked this cause i met a guy saturday who is married to a girl he met online. he is not attractive or even very comfortable. his jokes were strained. his aura was dark. i liked him but i just was wondering if i had fallen for him and then met him if i would have been mad at my disillusionment. then again......hes just not my type
     
  7. olhippie54

    olhippie54 Touch Of Grey Lifetime Supporter

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    I think there's alot to be said for meeting someone online. You don't have to deal with the often times discomfort of physical presence.
     
  8. honeyhannah

    honeyhannah herbuhslovuh

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    Yes I think that is true, but I think there are also a lot of things that don't transcend, like facial expressions, body language, a lot of things that are hard to explain, and its much easier to lie online or over the phone. Also when you get into each others personal space, and start doing things, and get into certain situations different aspects of the person's personality will come through that are not likely to show in a conversation.
     
  9. mariecstasy

    mariecstasy Enchanted

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    i agree 100 percent with you. i like to play devils advocate.

    there is a huge difference in the 2. but we are humans and we have expectations that we put on others. we have disillusionments we feed.

    or it could truly be. you never know without the encounter, eh?
     
  10. olhippie54

    olhippie54 Touch Of Grey Lifetime Supporter

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    However, I think many people show themselves more online because they're in a protected situation. They are not physically facing the person so they don't have the same first meeting inhibitions.
     
  11. dhs

    dhs Senior Member

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    I have only met one person in 'real life' whom I had known online and on the phone. The energy level wasn't 'soulmate' like, but it was pretty strong and there was some discussion of romantic idealisms. When we met in person, it just didn't click for me for some reason, which I can't really say was due to attraction or anything else particularly. Due to the distance and my severely limited free time, I chose not to pursue anything beyond continued email and phone interaction, both of which ultimately dissapated. Now, I can only recall one person ever in my life that I had a huge magnatism towards upon first meeting them. I've found plenty girls to be very attractive and through time things developed, but there's only been the one that drove the cupid arrow into me.
     
  12. mariecstasy

    mariecstasy Enchanted

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    hey hows your trip?
     
  13. dhs

    dhs Senior Member

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    going well thank you
     
  14. didge

    didge Member

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    hmmmmm, i dont think it would make that much ofa difference to me., if a persons got a great personallity, then looks dont realy matter, great personallity makes em more attractive,

    ya can meet the most gorgues lookin chap, and then realise he's a complete retard, and he aint attractive no more.


    i think if ya have that..link...thats all that counts, looks dont really come in to it.

    twud be great ta meet someone who feels that way,,.

    like, sometimes people dont even giv others a chance, cause they aint attracted to em,..,when they could be absolutly perfect for eachother.
     
  15. metro

    metro self-banned

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    Yeah, looks are quite unimportant to me also. Good looks are just an added bonus if you find someone you like, but not necessary.
     
  16. know1nozme

    know1nozme High Plains Drifter

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    It depends on how you mean.

    Allow me to ‘splain. For me it seems to be a chemical thing, at least at the beginning... and having been raised by the TV (it's true) I was programmed with this completely superficial idea of beauty (which has since altered as I have become a more well-rounded human being). So when I first meet someone, I may not find them physically attractive, but if I already know them personality-wise (say, by talking on the phone, or whatever – never met someone over the net, so I can’t call upon that as an experience) I will try to put the chemistry thing aside. It doesn’t work that well, I mean if I tried to be intimate, it would be pretty obvious that I wasn’t physically turned on, but I would strive to do my whorish best despite the handicap.

    As I get to love a person, it matters not what they look like (‘tho I appear to be terminally straight – want to be curious…curious about being curious…but it will probably never happen). After a while, all I can see is the love.
     
  17. moon_flower

    moon_flower Banned

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    sadly enough, it WOULD change the way i thought of them, i'd still think of them as an amazing person and whatnot, but i wouldn't want to be with them forever and ever....i'm way to vain, and life is way to short to fuck ugly people :p
     
  18. Personface

    Personface Tennessee Jed

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    Yes, this is my answer as well. Sorry.
     
  19. mariecstasy

    mariecstasy Enchanted

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    ok lets try the reverse.........

    what if you meet them and they are more beautiful than you had ever imagined.
    would you like them more?
     
  20. didge

    didge Member

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    i'd be very happy bout that now, but it aint that important...

    lets reverse it even more,..

    what if, ya met this chap.., and your looks didnt meet up ta his expectations,..he thought ya wer dog ugly..,

    how would ya feel about the situation?

    would ya think less of em if he changed his opinion of ya?

    just cause o the way ya look?
     

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