Personal development.

I've pretty much achieved all I want to in life now. Maybe just a few countries and things I want to look at.

I remember one day I had all my future ahead of me and at 18yo I woke up one morning and that future wasn't so clear anymore, physically. Told I have a stupid eye disease. Told me they'd have to cut my corneas out and stitch in new ones. Told me that was the end of my sporting days, told me that was the end of my active life, told me it would be hard to get back on a horse.

Didn't listen to them. Ain't stopped me doing anything. Maybe contact Sport, but I plug along in life with my shitty eyesite now like whateverrr. I do quite good in pool for how I have to see, maybe I won't be as good as I first envisioned 5 years ago I have accepted this now. Should have been something I picked up as a kid to be as good as I want. I keep hearing to be perfect player you need near perfect eyesite. Well I don't have that. I haven't had that since I was a teen and it's not something I'll ever have again.

Eyes never stopped me being active and having fun. They told me not to travel with stitches in my eyes, I travelled anyway. No more horse riding? Perish the thought, was the first thing I attempted.

Now I'm like what, nearing 33yo. Have my wife, land, house, my dog and rabbits. My social life, my interests. Been everywhere I want, seen some stuff I always wanted to. Life's good at the moment. My eyes? Who knows. Probably more surgery one day in the future. They gonna tell me the same things? Maybe. And I'll go out on a lawn bowl green to prove em wrong again cause that's where I see myself when I'm broken, on a lawn bowl green, pwning some old cunts at lawn bowls.

 

No one here gets out alive...

 

Have you ever been to Anatolia?

 

No

 

My life... It's been about emotional growth since I went to emotional growth boarding school. Interestingly, I didn't mind the manipulations therein. It was a transcendent experience; sharing, learning, and growing stronger.

What did I learn there... >?

 

Was there like... Share circles and stuff?
I did something like that when I was a kid. A weekend long ”retreat” where they basically deprived you of sleep and manipulated you into sharing personal experiences with people who are virtually strangers and to this day the whole things feels like a pungent smelling oil slick I can't wash off.
*takes a breath*
Was it like that?

 

It was exactly that! I'm amazed... Not that many people have heard of this. But my experience was far longer.


Yes. There was sleep deprivation and share circles! It was called Cedu. That was the name of the school.

But I did learn there.

 

Interesting. We share a strange commonality.
It sounds like you processed the whole experience much differently than I.

 

I went to something called T.E.C. Teens Encounter Christ. I lived inside my mind the entire time.

 

Didn’t stick? Jesus, the church?

 

I was already having serious doubts, my experience at the T.E.C. just further confirmed my suspicion that it was all nonsense. A girl talked me into going--serious lesson learned there as it didn't get me laid.

 

indeed. I grew accustomed and comfortable to the role. I overcame many fears there. And learned to share in love and prosper. It was interesting... and good. But it didn't last or stand much of a chance against the drugs when I got out/released. My instincts to fit in were much stronger than anything I could have implemented. I was 15 about to be 16 when I got out, so I wasn't prepared to "use what I learned" so to speak. I forgot everything and went down the toilet on drugs. And then, after stopping at meth, I reversed course. Went to alcohol and stayed put for a time. Then, finally, I quit that too. I got sober and then picked up edibles interestingly enough. I enjoyed edibles, but they don't agree with my medication or my condition (I'm also living with schizophrenia; which thankfully is under control and the supervision of a wonderful psychiatrist...). So, years and years went by between the time I was released from my boarding school to the time I finally got off of everything.

But now I sort of enjoy sobriety. It's ok.

 

Yo man you just share circle'd the shit outta this thread

 

AHAHAH. Yeah, I guess I did.

Carry on, all!

 

If you wrote a book about your time in college and what not, I’d read it.