See, People say I have emotional problems. Im just lashing out because I hold in whatever you put in there. Because a single day, is long enough to hold it in. There is no reason I should be judged for showing emotion. And to be perfectly clear, I can judge morality; and for a man whos grown up in society, whos been raped, starved, homeless, nearly killed, broke bones, rusted hands and as a man of sweat and blood I know that im a righteous man and that anyone that should doubt me otherwise shall be felled down as it were war. Because that, is the result of insults.
I was thinking. If I were to allow that which happens in this world, happen, without taking opinion or thought. This would be extreme pacifism and a perfect example of peace. There would be some, that would want all but peace. The only future I see in this sick world, is that of violence. This makes me want to stop thinking.
being human by doing what needs to be done for the good and not being selfish. sacrifice for the better good based off principle that doesn't hurt others.
I let the individual decided that for themself. it might help them or kill them. they will know when they are doing good or bad based on how they treat others. karma. I do believe they will know in their soul, hopefully sooner than later.. doesn't mean they make the correct decision in a real-life-situation, but everyone knows it later. the soul is a part of the person that is full of peace and integrity.
That seems unfortunate and not necessary from my perspective. Sure, there was and always will be violence but not only, far from it.
people are not as interesting to me, as the things they make and the way they make places be. but i do want them to be happy and be able to be happy, healthy and free. and for this reason i care about the kind of world all of us create, and the real process by which we do so. life's dramas, i prefer to leave to those who somehow feel them to be necessary.
I can easily do without people in my life for extended periods of time. I don't have any use for most of them. They don't make me happy, and I am rarely lonely in their absence. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
people are these annoying things that walk around thinking they're smarter then you are. the hell of it is, occasionally some of them are.
Today I fucking helped my friend, it was great and I felt awesome doing it. For the mostly the entire day, we went out and looked for jobs. He kept on telling me how impossible it was for him to make a resume while we were at a job listing office that helps people get jobs and make resumes, thats fine bro; but why the fuck are we even here? Your telling me I drove your ridiculous spoiled ass all the fucking way out here so you could tell me you cant remember any references or absolutely none of your job experience? This drove me wild so I was like, fuck this shit im getting his immature ass a job and showin him what its like to man the fuck up and put some work in your life. After about 2 hours we get back, with no resume, hes still acting spoiled as shit; im pissed and im sober. So I need some shit to do, so I go out in the country and figure it would be fitting for him to work field labor and set him up with some old boss of mine. He walks in, boom 10 minutes later comes out with a smile on his face and got the interview. Says "thanks bro, could u give me a ride to work tommarrow at like 7?" Oh fuck no, how the fuck you gonna do that? We then pickup my nigga that hes in love with. Shes also in love with him. Hes damn near on the verge of fucking tears before we even get to her house. Cryin about how her bf mistreats her and shit but wont tell her to break up with him even though they are having sex and its just too complicated for me to even fathom cause obviously hes just gangster. I got an interview in 10 minutes. Motherfucker get out the car, talks like he aint even worried about life. Super calm and shit sending shivers down my spine, the homie then get's in my kitchen and get real close to the girl... like inches away and gets all romantic as fuck. And tries to casually talk to me like he aint even horny and about to fuck this girl in MY house. Looking like a scene from days of our lives. Right after hes done "spitting game" he looks of at me and starts talking about how one of his nuts disappeared or some shit and it turns out his nutsack was just numb. And then precedes to hover over me while I cook up some food. CREEPIN ME THE FUCK OUT, so im like 'oh kay this nigga freaking me out, being wierd and ungrateful' so im like, dont hover, please. Motherfucker gets all upset and shit and goes outside. Im stressin out at this point right, cause like I got a job interview in 10. I gotta pick my moms up, I got a masonic meeting tonight. I gotta go shopping, im broke and aint got no gas. I got fucking priorities, and your ass now officially not one of them, I aint ever roll over to you or nobody in this bum as state; I just give y'all charity and you take advantage of my hospitality without even giving me a thanks.. I get compliments from random strangers about my personality, my looks and my charm(not even trying to suck myself off right now.) This dude thats helping me get on track with some Job Certifications is like fucking intrigued by me; talks about wishing I was his only customer, saying how interesting my generation is and how people my age are becoming so different. Motherfucker was so impressed by my character he ended up introducing me to the mayor..... AT THIS POINT LIFE AINT EVEN REAL, I GOT SOME REAL FUCKING LOSERS SLOWING ME DOWN AND HOLDING ME BACK, BUT THEY ARE MY FRIENDS. WHY ARE ALL MY FRIENDS FUCKING LOSERS. WHY THE FUCK PEOPLE FUCKING WITH MY EGO? WHY THE FUCK CANT I HANDLE STRESS? WHAT THE FUCK DO PEOPLE THINK OF ME THAT ENDS UP FUCKING MY LIFE UP?? Im so sick of this god damned state's people. I love my friends and I have seen them all do some pretty amazing things and give selflessness and charity to one another. But damn, sometimes I feel like im either the only good person left on this planet, or im the only fucking person who sees bad in things. Either fucking way, fuck you. It's totally a 'me' problem; but yo, I dont give a fuck. I hold in my problems, I dont have a reason to put it on you because I cant deal with it. I been through suicidal tendencies I been through all that depression. Just because u get your heart broken or you been through 'some shit' Dont mean you gotta brag about how your life sucks and compare yourself to my struggle. How the fuck can I love in a world that only projects hate. I need to do some serious meditating. The days not even done yet...... Lets see who I can fight. Thank you hip forums for being the only place that I could feel safe about talkin about my problems. It's a blessing to have you in my life and this was a huge stress relief, even if it ended up making me look worst than I already feel. Cause honestly, nothing feels better than getting some shit off your chest.
people imagine themselves to be things that don't exist. maybe this is one of the least harmful things they do. i don't know, i can't judge, i'm one too of course. thing is, i don't think i've ever met anyone who couldn't be classed as a nutter, one way or another. and that's fine. or would be, if more of us were more honest with ourselves about it. there are a couple of things i can't seem ever to trust though. and one of them, generally speaking is aggressiveness. then there's gratuitous conventionality, which is the pretense of not being a fantasy while being the biggest fantasy of all. then there's the ostentation of conspicuous wastefulness. what's up with that? people who enjoy one an other's company, let them. people who enjoy their own, let us.
