People with no depth

That's part of growing up. You also grow apart. When you are little kids, you can share secrets and giggle and play all day together.

We don't seek out a mate just for sex. Jules and I have been together 10 years. He is my best friend and we have lots of deep discussions. I have 2 female friends that are close enough for deep discussions, too.

Perhaps a reson for people not sharing is that it seems like EVERYTHING is offensive these days. You can't say anything that is totally PC. Maybe most people would rather just shut up than listen to how thier opinion is wrong......

 

i dont think i said that, but thanks...but you did say my post was pointless which maybe in your eyes is fine but to me it was my opinion and im sticken with it...
but anyways, peoples opinions differ, if they were all the same, what would be discussed, am I right???

 

yeh.... agree. i'm starting to feel the same way, growing apart. it's strange. actually we've only been friends since about 17 or so, but still seems like a very long time. not only that though, but i'm considering how difficult it actually is to find truly open minded people with living brains in their heads,
not just something to keep the ears apart.

that's interesting to say that maybe people would rather just shut up than consider that they could be wrong... perhaps then, fear really is what keeps people from moving forward. "fear or laziness", right?

heh..
the most terrifying 2 words eh?

i wonder a lot of the time how lonely every person around me must be, to be created human with so much potential, but to live a life so fearful of exposing that fact to the rest of the world; we're so confused.

mystical shroom.... wasn't only referring to your posts, also the others who immediately brushed off the thread start with bland replies of 'they don't like you', 'they don't want to talk', 'not wanting to talk doesn't mean you're antisocial' (<what??), generally 'it's you, not the world'.
it seemed to perfectly define the problem she was stating, no?

anyway, i shouldn't have said this forum sucks, that was lame.
as if random thoughts isn't cool.


peace

 

That is not what I said. I said "opinion". I'm not talking about the kind of wrong where they say 1+3=9, I'm talking about deeper subjects. The kind where people have to be afraid for their families.

Why do people have to be lonely? Just because you think they should all be a big happy family, does not mena that they all WANT to be...
I don't like getting too deep with strangers, but I am not lonely.

And wtf does having an open mind have to do with anything? I don't have contempt for anyone, I just like my privacy.

 

i think im going to walk around with those signs you wear that have front and back and im going to write.. Hi, My name is blah blah.. and then write all my secrets and likes and dislikes and everything personal to me...
is that a great idea or what...

 

We all better do that, or we'll be labelled "antisocial"

 

i believe that every human has an innate sense of loneliness, every one. that's not to say that it controls a person's every thought, but i do think it lurks in every one of us.
we are self-aware and separated from one another because of this, our egos become as brick walls between
'Me' and 'You'.
the open minded thing.... i was speaking from personal experience.


i realize that you were talking about the problem and pressure of having to monitor one's opinions for political correctness, but i don't think that excuse completely bandages the bigger problem of lack of depth. a good point though.

peace

 

sarcasm, wow.
lol

anyway, anti-social i think could be a term to fit someone unwilling to connect with the world around them, no? a person reaches out to you to learn about the world around him, the people around him, what these things mean. this is natural. someone who shuns this contact for reasons only to be imagined i'm sure, could be deemed anti-social?

mystical shroom, i don't think the fix is in the cardboard life-story billboard,
but it'd totally be an interesting scene!

haha

actually, maybe that is the fix. my neighbour is like that. i ask him for directions to the nearest pub and five hours later i know his and his closest family members' life stories, no joke.

 

It was quite intentional, I'd be a bit worried if you didn't pick that up......

Again, you are making asumptions about people you don't know. Who says people are "unwilling" or "shuns contact" just because they don't want to go on and on about a subject? I simply don't like to put my life out on a plate to be examined. I have friends and a family. I have deep discusions; just not with you, so that makes me antisocial?

 

not making assumptions at all,
i was giving an example/defining the term. do you agree with the definition?

again, not in any way referring to you, alluding to you secretly, or in any way thinking of you in any measure since i pointed out the pointlessness of the original posts in this thread. i was attempting to take a stab at the reasons for lack of depth people display in modern society.

in any case,
people who are unwilling are, according to the word itself, not wanting to connect, is that right?
connecting being, the only thing we have - talking.
and 'shunning contact' is, by definition, the same as above?

and again, not talking about a person's life story.
is this perhaps the problem?? haha!
do people think that talking about things other than the weather and the local sports team somehow betray themselves to the listener and chain themselves to some unstoppable train where they MUST END UP telling their lifestory?

well, of course not. there are other things to talk about than "you".

maybe a fear of showing another person your opinions, then? talking about the weather doesn't show off much of who you are, but there are deeper subjects which give the listener a better idea of whom they're speaking with.



peace

 

i believe the point is,
modern society has become uncaring, apathetic to one's environment and fellow human beings.

the helplessness of post-modernism.

 

maybe you talk about shit people don't care for. stop being so selfish.

 

I suppose the definitions work, I just don't see why someone who is looking for open minds is wanting so desparately to label others. Seems counter-productive to being open-minded to me. <shrug>

Not talking someone's leg off doesn't = fear. Are we talking about strangers or life-long friends? I don't give anything out to strangers, most topics are simply none of their business or I don't expect them to care about the same things I do. If a life-long buddy is suddenly not interested in you, then that could be any reason.

BTW, adding this after a rant just comes off looking sarcastic.

 

No, I read your post right. Now whether or not you worded it the way you meant to is a different subject, but your original post uses a lack of depth to describe people who put up a barrier or something along those lines. I suppose I understand the point you were TRYING to make, but you ended up coming across as "I'm open-minded and deep and you're not." You don't seem to take into consideration that there are any number of reasons why someone might not feel like talking about anything besides the weather, besides being anti-social. I am not saying this to be shitty or mean to you, I'm just saying that's how the original post comes off.

That sentence alone is enough to make me believe that I am not missing your point. Plus, you never really explained what it is you'd consider "deep" conversation. Religion, politics, poverty, environment issues? Some of the most hollow, shallow people I've come across think they're all deep because of the way they throw such topics around. People who claim to be open-minded and non-judgemental are often the exact opposite of that. There are alot of people out there who talk way too much and end up saying nothing at all.

And someone suggested going to the philosophy forum....that's exactly what I'm talking about right now. Every once in a while you'll come across someone with something really insightful to say, but for the most part it's just a bunch of self-proclaimed "deep" people repeating the same old garbage we've all heard a thousand times before. During my time here on the forums, I've noticed the best people here are usually the ones who don't push their open-mindedness and depth by telling everyone about it. (kayla being one of the very bestest ever! And daisymae, I think I *heart* you. )

 

It's nice to see some people on this thread are able to see my point of view. It seems other people either don't understand at all or they are majorly jumping to conclusions about the point I'm getting at. That's my impression anyway. That's fine. We'll all individuals and not everyone is going to agree and understand where everyone else is coming from.

At the end of the day I know myself well and I know what I'm saying and there are people who've posted who can relate to me, without me having to constantly explain myself and having them analyzing my every word and trying to start an argument.

I'm not going to lower myself to certain peoples levels. I better than that, I'm more mature and I've got more important things to do. For those of you out there "absorbing my every word", you might think I'm trying to be Miss Perfect - I'm not and apart from indivuaduals who are truly not nice people, I'm no better than anyone else.

I know where I'm coming from which is the most important and there are people who truly know what I'm talking about and quite frankly that's all I care about.

Each to their own and I've nothing more to say on the matter. Anything negative people choose to say to this, I'm not interested. I've had my say and now it's time to move on.

 

Thats called life... don't think a wolf is going to care about you... odds are they'll eat'cha.

 

So you, your husband and your close friends all knew each other from birth, and never had to share information, because everything was already known and observed? That is exactly what your last statement implied. Correction.... when you first met your husband, you had to grow from strangers into friends, and eventually into lovers. That means you both had to share personal information about yourselves, in order to have a better understanding of one another. The same with your female friends. That is how friendships are formed. If everyone sat and had superficial conversation with one another, then people would simply be acquaintances.



No one made any implication that you have to share your life story with a complete stranger. No one is expected to reveal heaps of information to a person they just meet. This process takes time.

Cutting one’s self off completely from society and never allowing others a chance for better understanding, does indeed make one antisocial. This happens to a psychiatric personality disorder.

 

I gotta agree with whatstheirname on this on

 

daisymae...
i'm talking about people in general; again, i'm not referring to either you or me or any personal experience in particular, but the general attitude of people in today's society. none of what i say is directed at you; obviously i misunderstood the way you recieve other people's thoughts in a conversation. i am in no way 'desperate' to label others; thought we were having a loose discussion on this mindset and what we've come to to have caused it...

...clearly i was wrong, and you've been hostile from the outset. in NO way was my sign off sarcastic, daisymae; i was surprised at that. i meant it as it comes.
in all honesty, this is getting absurd.



at risk of sounding sarcastic here, i'll sign off with

later.

 

I'm not sure where this thread is leading to but I don't expect people to show 'depth' on every occasion. Everyone is unique. Maybe someone you speak to doesn't feel like getting deep and open at that time. If some random guy approached you and tried to engage in a deep conversation about something then they obviously have a screw lose because they don't even know you. People talk about what they have in common. If you try to engage in deep conversation with a stranger then your a block short of a building set IMO. You don't know who your talking to do you? A relationship is built up over time. They don't know what your about and visa versa. Your state of mind or general views might be offensive to them

I'm with Mystical Shroom on this one (chugs on more cold beer)