People who change when they get into a relationship

I was always kind of shy, but I loved getting to know new people. But something about people the last few years make me want to go live in a cave and not see anyone.

I know a guy who is dating someone I'm close to. They started dating less than six months ago, and after their third date he was living with her (he gives lesbians a run for their money! I didn't Uhaul until almost a year into my relationship with my gf). She pays for everything and she waits on him hand and foot. She feeds him three meals a day and yet he has food stamps and goes to the soup kitchen regularly. He's a big guy but come on! He has his own place but he doesn't ever go there. And he acts like her house is his property. A few weeks ago he convinced her to buy a brand new car. He has one but he only drives her car. I feel like he's going to send her straight into bankruptcy. Her sister told me she went grocery shopping with them and even saw her handing him money secretly so he can pretend he's paying for his own food.

On top of that he is a super religious Republican and he rants about lazy people who don't work and are mooches on the government and I'm just like...dude you're all of the things you hate! I don't understand what she sees in him and I resent the fact that her and so many other people I know let their partner change them completely when they get into a relationship. My sister is the same way, except she's the user. But why do people do it? Why do they mold into whatever their partner wants and lose themselves?

A couple of her family members tried to warn her about him, but she's been cutting off her own family rather than listening to them over this guy she barely knows.

 

Ahem.......And Why Do Guys Mold Into What The Girl.....And Her Mother Want Him To Be....???



Cheers Glen.

 

There, I fixed it lol

 

Fixed What...???...



Cheers Glen.

 

I changed the original post so it doesn't imply only women change for men, and not vice versa.

 

Yeh, but it usually is the one more controlling that is the one thats actually more insecure

Male or Female

 

Forget the PC nonsense, I know what you meant, Stick with the way you meant it.

Its not 50/50, ladies do ..do it more, its more like 70/30

 

FIXED......



Cheers Glen.

 

Fellas... Sooo not the point.

 

So Many Times Over The Years I Have Been Friends With Men Who Have Been So "C**t Struck"

With A Woman.....They Married Them......Only To End Up A "Shell Of The Man" They Were Before

They Met The "Controlling Bitch"...... Tis Sad But True......



Cheers Glen.

 

Ok, well the question was why.

Why does some seemingly sensible lady do everything for some lazy arse douchebag.

Because she wants to play mom, but hasnt had a kid yet.

Lets come back and analyse after she has 2.1 kids, aforementioned douchebag aint getting anymore nookie, gets kicked out, pays child support, real man...or maybe wesbian moves in

 

Haha
Well... There's that.

 

i don't care about how they act when they're with the new partner, what drives me crazy is how such a high percentage of women who are the coolest single person ever, suddenly turn into an entitled douche in all aspects of life as soon as they're in a relationship. i really don't see this with many guys; they usually stay roughly the same when they're not with the significant other.

 

In answer to the title:
It's the Natural course of events for a 1 and a 1 whilst singularly unique as individuals to change int a 2 - It's called unification, and Reality.
Be it MF, FF, MM or other Partnerships of choice, - it's the same old song - regardless of it's tune

 

Not sure if people really change or if a situation presented by another brings out a side we never knew existed, that's been kept hidden.

Thinking of another woman with whom i felt so compatible with in the past and now its as if we speak different languages.

 

I suppose if you think you're on your last legs you'll change for someone, or, if relationships don't work you might come to the conclusion it could be on yourself so you'll change for the next relationship, I dunno.

I tell you this, growing up I pride myself on never changing pending who I was around. Like at school, I knew too many folks who would be completely different around different people. Like when their friends weren't there they'd be your friends and then when their friends were back it was like I never existed.

Well that's lame, so for me, I made a point of never changing myself for anybody. What you saw or what you knew was what you were going to get, and should expect it. I stayed true to myself as a consistent personality. At the end of the day, I was Irm.

Now over the years I've tried to change that approach as I figured well maybe not every body needs Irm. I shrugged that off though more recently. I should never have let myself believe that I needed to portray a different side of me for somebody else's benefit. I went 30 years without that, I hated that I did that for people.

Not anymore though. Back to being Irm, Joc.. Whatever you call me. Couldn't be happier with the results either. My life has somewhat turned for the better, I'm out having fun, I don't care anymore about what anyone thinks of me and I'm good spirits.

 

I'm the same way. I never changed to get the cool kids to like me, and I don't change for my partner either. It doesn't feel right to me. If they don't like who you really are then the relationship has no foundation. I mean sure you pick up mannerisms and a couple new shared interests, but not your entire personality, on top of alienating everyone in your life. It's not normal or healthy.

 

I seem to have a personality that clicks with any group or I'll share a common interest within many groups of people. Like at school I was switched on enough for the high IQ peeps, I got in with the sports cause I was sporty, I liked music so got along with the music folks. Was redneck to fit in with the smoker kids lol. And then just normal people.

Very similar now. I still hold a vast number of interests that allow me to gel within most groups of people. I'm quite diverse come to think of it.

 

Even the ones that think driving cars round and round a big circle is a "sport"

 

Of course.

Non
Athletic
Sport
Centred
Around
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