People calling me gay

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And the road to gaining those qualities starts here.

I think there is a need to differentiate between the "true bad guy" and the "attractive bad guy."

Women who are shy, innocent, and naive, are attractive to men, partly because of the way the world is. But the inverse is not so true. Statistically, women would rather have a guy who is experienced, knowledgable, worldly, and know how to properly conduct themselves. (And as men grow older, they would rather have a woman with the same qualities than a woman who is innocent and naive -- but the gender predispositions still hold somewhat true)

There is a difference between a guy who is confident and has that exciting look in his eye when he is going after a girl, (the attractive guy) and a guy who truly just doesn't care (the real bad guy).

I already explained this last post, reread it.

YES!!! It is that important! It is not impossible to demonstrate, in fact it is rather easy once you know how. It is often as simple as a stare into the eyes, a menacing smirk, or a playful caress or touch. But you need to know *how*.

But in the real world, they don't. You don't get much respect for doing simple things like that.

Honestly, I do see the gentlemen in you, even if you don't want to admit it. You care, and that's apparent. And you are right to think that a girl wants someone who cares. But not that way. The care needs to have a "naughty" side, a side that both gives and expects to recieve. Having only a giving side is a turn-off, and having only a recieving side is also a turn-off.

That's why chicks dig "bad guys" because a recieving side is often seen as a "bad" side. We can thank Christianity for that.

Well, you need to go make friends then. You will need all the same skills. And if you have to learn them first, that's okay.

Then change.

I'm only going to say this one more time (which is this time):

YOU must make the transition. You can't dwell in your sorrow and pity party forever. This thread is FILLED with advice, suggestions, and ideas. I'm done posting here unless you take what people have said here seriously and start trying to change.

This willingness and effort to change, is what separates the true losers from those who are winners without the skills to win yet.

 

You have to act better than the chavs around you, and hang around people better than chavs for them to see you as anything better...

 

First off, word to everything that Hikaru Zero has said so far, freakin genius

Yes, it really is THAT important to show confidence and security. If you arent' confident/happy with yourself, why should anyone else be? No person wants to coddle an insecure person, constantly smooth over their ego, reassure them, try to make them happy when they're constantly unhappy with themselves. It's an impossible, exhausting task and few will take it up voluntarily

It's not impossible to demonstrate confidence and security. Let hte fools insults roll off of you like water. Smile at the girls you think are pretty. Laugh at jokes, mock yourself a little if you must because it shows you can poke fun at yourself too.
The jokes pointed at himself that HZ described were hilarious, cute and genuinely did make him seem like a more attractive person to me. Why? Because they show that he's confident in himself and his sexuality, that he has a sense of humour, and that that sense of humour can also be based in sex (I find sex-humour pretty damn funny personally). If you cant' joke around at all, no one's going to want to spend time with you. Ditto for not being at least somewhat confident in yourself.

 

Awww, ihmurra, you make my face turn medium-rare.

 

That's my job!

But seriously Chris... if you want people to change how they treat you, you have to change yourself first. I know it's a shitty way to do things, but that's life.

 

Shes right. But its evident you don't like who you are, and people pick up on that. They play on insercuities, a lot of them do. Maybe being positive like I have said so many times before will change your out look on things.

 

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So why not make some friends? Its really not all that hard. Start with people who live near by, or whom you see everyday in class. University/college is probably one of the easiest places to make friends... much easier than out in the real world. Why? Because you are already separated into interest-based groups... the people in your art class like art... the people in your English class probably like to read, and the people in your music apprieciation class? They apprieciate music! So, pick a class that most interests you, find some nerve, and ask to borrow a piece of paper or something... get the ball rolling.

I do think it's a good thing you are going to go to see a councellor though. You kinda sound like you have some sort of anti-social problem... like an anxiety disorder or something. You are letting the small stupid people and things run your life, by letting them intimidate you into this weird rage thing directed at all the wrong targets.

I still don't see why you have such "gay issues" though. Why is male gayness so horrible? Lesbiens are ok though? That has never made any sense to me, as at least gay men know you are alive... the lesbiens couldn't give two shits about you! You need to let go of the bias bullshit... chances are, if a guy was to hit on you, all you would have to say is "no thanks, not interested." and that would be that. No harm, no foul.

So, make some friends, see a councellor, and work on the latent hate/rage issues

 

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Do you pay attention to a god damn word I say?

You would not be having this problem if you were just a little more attentive.

Pay fucking attention. The answers are in this thread.

Stop feeling bad for yourself, you are fucking pathetic, get over it already. -_-*

Hell even when the world was against me, I didn't dick around and piss and moan like you do. Grow some fucking balls, then re-read this thread.

 

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That's not realistic, that's being pessimistic
"I want to change, but I can't because... ummmmm, because reality said so. Yeah, that's it."

ugh
YOU are holding yourself back, NO ONE ELSE is. YOU are giving them the power to hurt you, make you feel less positively about yourself. YOU could be in control of this situation if you chose to be, if you chose to evoke some change in your life

stop whining about it and actually start in on changing it. Bemoaning the sorrows of the world or your life won't get you anywhere.

 

Let's be honest here, swordboy - you don't seem like the type that spent highschool slaying chicks left, right, and centre.

I'd be a skeptic too.

 

What the hell do you think this forum is for?

Yes, actually, I did used to be a counsellor for a short while, believe it or not. I have talked dozens of people (myself included) out of suicide, and the only reason I even come to this board is to help people with problems (as I have no relationship to have problems with myself ). I mean heck, in high school I was even a conflict manager in 3rd grade.

YOU are just not willing to (a) listen, or (b) try.

And what do you think a counsellor is going to do, give you a magic pill? They are going to do the same damn thing that we have been trying to do here: tell you how to help solve your problems.

But if you keep this attitude up, it won't work.

 

The only people to be skeptical of are those who insult others for no reason at all, instead of giving advice to people who are looking for it.

You don't know me, or my story. You don't seem to know anything at all for that matter.

And you're one to talk. People like you bag my groceries.

 

Hey, Hikky... are you gay?

 

I didn't insult you for no reason. I poked fun at you because you seemed to get such self-satisfaction from comparing yourself to a retard it made me want to laugh.

I know you like swords - which is pretty much all I want to know.

You'd be suprised.

Quoting Maddox. What pseudo-wit. Look, you aren't nearly as educated, moneyed, or enlightened as you seem to think, so you might want to stop the sucking motion and remove your own dick from your mouth. Your back is probably getting sore.

That was probably ruder than I intended, but hangover's do that.

 

Ahh...spooner...

You're just jealous cause Hikaru looks like Johnny Depp and you just look like my cousin Tracey.