People calling me gay

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by chris_1661, Jun 6, 2006.

  1. chris_1661

    chris_1661 Member

  2. She's at uni now, and she did always stick up for her gay friend as he never knew what to say. A lot still behave like kids in 6th form, I think things will eventually get better. Take care!
     
  3. Why are you offened at being called gay?
    That sounds like the most pathetic insult to me...
    Thats like saying "ahah you like pasta"...or something...
    Weirdness
     
  4. chris_1661

    chris_1661 Member

  5. DancerAnnie

    DancerAnnie Resident Beach Bum

    Like Hikaru said. Just make a joke out of it...the less of a big deal you make out of it...the less they will do it to you.
     
  6. dudenamedrob

    dudenamedrob peace lily

    Next time somebody calls you Gay, just be like and.........you want to suck MY dick? come here and gimme some brain....just harrass them right back, make a game out of it.......it's not really as bad as it seems.........the only reason you even see anything WRONG with being gay is because your still an immature young buck, as you get older you'll realize that it really don't matter if you give the dick or take the dick, it's what turns YOU on, and in reality thats true of everything in life, FUCK what everybody else thinks, life is too short to get caught up in the bullshit. I can gurantee you one thing though, the more you let shit get to you, the more it will come.........just relax, and tell them boys to drop down on thier knee's and you'll show them what it really means to be gay.
     
  7. chris_1661

    chris_1661 Member

  8. Hikaru Zero

    Hikaru Zero Sylvan Paladin

    Then you are going to continue being called gay. You do realize this, right?

    Listen, take for example a friend I had in high school. He was probably the straightest dude in that whole school, because only a person who is secure in their sexuality can joke about being gay!

    There's this one joke that goes along the lines of, "There's 40 dicks on a wall, how many do you choke on?" And of course the person is going to answer, "None, of course." To which the joker would respond, "Wow! You're good!"

    But this guy, I asked him this joke, and he just looks at me and bluges his eyes out, and goes, "Well all fourty of them!"

    He had my entire lunch table laughing so hard that we couldn't even finish our lunches. We laughed for a good 15 minutes, we were all on the floor just busting a gut.

    But of course, nobody ACTUALLY thinks he's gay, because it takes balls and security to say something like that. And why does he get credit for saying probably the most gay thing in the world? Because it's funny! Because it's witty, because it is a demonstration of how secure he is in his own sexuality.

    Another example -- in college, me and about 4 fellas were just coming back from a smoke in the woods, and one of the guys (Kyle) had these crackers, and we were all like "dude Kyle, can we have some crackers man?" and he would be all like "No man, these are for me!" And at one point, I was trying to eat the cracker out from his hand, and I was like "Come onnnn, man, all I want is a cracker!" And he was like, "No way dude!" And he lowered his hand next to his hip, so I bent down next to it and said as loudly as possible, "COME ON DUDE, PUT IT IN MY MOUTH!" And we laughed over that for like 5 minutes, it was great. Of course, I'm not getting rapped over it today, because I'm secure enough to make a joke out of that.

    The truth is, UNLESS you "make a complete arse of" yourself, as you think of it, you aren't going to have any credit as being secure in your sexuality, and people are going to call you gay simply because they know it will get under your skin. You have to stand up, be a man, and joke!

    Yeahhhhhhhhh, about that ... don't you think that's a little hypocritical?

    Either way, consider this, man. I call myself "pansexual." That means, I'm open to ideas which interest me. If for some reason I was attracted to a guy, or to two guys doing eachother, I might join in on the fun. But, the simple truth is, that's never happened, and it probably won't, because due to whatever nature I have, I am just not attracted to guys (much). :p

    Of course, I can say this, because it's totally acceptable. It respects the homosexuality of other people, but at the same time it's the perfect truth when it comes to me not being attracted to guys.

    But, you on the other hand, you simply dismiss it as "disgusting" and sound hypocritical because you'd watch two girls, but not two guys. Just the way you say it, it sounds like you're afraid of guy on guy action! You say "disgusting!" and "yuk!" These are words that my sister used when she was 12 years old, and a spider was on her wall; she would freak out and make a big scene and start crying because she was afraid. And me and my mom would joke and tease her. And you sound absolutely no different than my sister when she was 12! People smell fear. They play off of it. We are no different than spiders ourselves.

    The short answer is NO. This hassling of you will not stop until you learn how to deal with it, and be secure in your sexuality. YOU have to give them a reason to stop, they will not stop on your own.

    And again, this is coming from the guy who got picked on by every single person in high school. Hell, I wasn't even safe from the TEACHERS, let alone the jocks, the preps, the skaters, the walking encyclopedias that got 1500s on the SATs.

    I know that this is the only way you will stop getting picked on, because it is the only thing that worked for me. And I tried every approach in the damn book!

    The simple fact is, you must take responsibility for your behaviour. You cannot simply blame it on "a bad year" or "they are assholes." The truth is, everyone is an asshole to some degree, even you or me. Being an asshole is not what is to blame. Blame itself isn't even a factor -- it's not the assholes who get blamed for being assholes, it's the cool people who get credited for being cool. No matter how much blame you put on an asshole, it won't change a damn thing until you realize, you need to get some cred, and in order to do that, you need to change the way you behave, from behaving like a target (a person who is vulnerable to simple jest) to behaving like you're not a target.

    Remember, how you present yourself is how other people are going to interpret who you are. If you present yourself as a stuck up, snotty, insecure, whiny person, they are going to play you. If you learn how to be confident, how to be secure, how to be a nice person, they are going to want to be your friend instead. Truly, that's what being "cool" is. You are only cool if people want to be your friend and not make fun of you, and that will only happen if you have (a) confidence, (b) security, and (c) a sense of humour.
     
  9. chris_1661

    chris_1661 Member

  10. DancerAnnie

    DancerAnnie Resident Beach Bum

    Well then, be expected to be made fun of for the rest of your life...and SHUT UP!
     
  11. chris_1661

    chris_1661 Member

  12. DancerAnnie

    DancerAnnie Resident Beach Bum

    Well, THAT'S the mature way to handle things :rolleyes:

    Why don't you try and act like an adult? I think it might get you further than this childish rubbish.
     
  13. dudenamedrob

    dudenamedrob peace lily

    dood.........in all seriousness how old are you? You come off as a preteen....i'm really not trying to insult you, but thats how you come off. I know you got AS, do you have any other problems? Behavioral issues? Learning disabilities? I have never in my life seen someone that was supposedly in college be so ridiculously intolerant, unflexible, and generally morose. Why do you ask people for advice if you have no intention of changing anything?? I don't want you to feel like i'm making fun of you because i'm really not, i'm trying to understand you and help you out. Bottom line brother, you need to lighten up a bit, try to be less confrontational........dare I say it but start smoking pot if you don't already, it's worth a shot. As long as you are treating people the way you do, and taking everything so godawful serious, you are going to get fucked with, made fun of, et al. You need to realize that YOU have a problem, and denying it isn't going to help, in order to get people to stop fucking with you, YOU need to change, not them. They are just taking advantage of a feeble mind thats easy to get worked up, YOU are the one granting them that power, nobody else.
     
  14. chris_1661

    chris_1661 Member

  15. chris_1661

    chris_1661 Member

  16. dudenamedrob

    dudenamedrob peace lily

    You show that your intolerant by how homophobic you are. You show lack of flexibility in that you refuse to attempt any reasonable advice given to you, and you seem morose because you ARE, friend your at a non-stop pity party and your the guest of honor!! I think alot of your problem is that you need to learn how to be social, if people think your wierd and isolated, they're going to fuck with you to try to get a rise out of you. You need to just relax, fuck with them right back, don't yell, get angry, or get violent because that just makes you look worse. It is human nature to try and dominate, and force reaction from something that isn't understood, and that is basically what is happening with you. People do not identify with you, so they project thier own insecurities onto you. Your best course of action is just to open up, be social, throw it right back at them, lighten up, life has plenty of problems without adding more to it. I gurantee that after fucking with you those people don't pay another thought to you the rest of the day, where as your letting it dominate your existence, you are giving them the power to socially intimidate you. You need to get ahold of your mind, try to garner an understanding of these people, realize it's not worth getting worked up over and either throw it back at them, or let it roll off your back. It may help to see a psychiatrist and speak to him/her about social anxiety disorder...I'm trying really hard to explain this to you but I realize that in the end it's really simple: LIGHTEN UP! Love and light brother. ~Rob
     
  17. chris_1661

    chris_1661 Member

  18. DancerAnnie

    DancerAnnie Resident Beach Bum

    Good than shut the fuck up to us, then...and stop asking for our advice when you aren't going to take it anyway.

    Go beat the shit out of those kids. Go ahead. So then you can get thrown in jail for assault and battery.

    Yup...go ahead...because that's how adults handle things.:rolleyes:

    I think maybe we should all just start ignoring him...Maybe he'll go away then...

    I like oatmeal raisin cookies. What kinds of cookies do you all like?
     
  19. chris_1661

    chris_1661 Member

  20. Hikaru Zero

    Hikaru Zero Sylvan Paladin

    That's why I am sharing the knowledge I have of this with you, so that you can learn to gain those qualities and rise above your current situation.

    You can go to college and do your work, while still having fun. That's no excuse. You sound like you are trying to justify your lonely time by saying that having fun is detrimental to learning, but true learning can only be gained when a measure of enjoyment and jest can be found in it.

    You have all of these problems -- how can you expect to learn and do your work, when you are bothered by so many things?

    While this is true, it is still quite possible to overcome it, especially if you only have less than one year with that reputation.

    All you have to do is try.

    Hey -- now that's not cool. How about you shut the fuck up?

    If you hadn't directed it at him, I might have taken that as a personal offense, because I too suffered through high school simply because I was new and didn't have any of these qualities. It took me all of high school and a full year of college to figure it out, and I am still not done making the transition today!

    Have some respect, Annie, not hate.

    That would get you killed.

    In a schoolyard, one on one fights might get something accomplished.

    In the real world, people gang up. They bring friends. You kick the shit out of one person, over something as lame as a stupid joke or insult, and then suddenly five more people pop out, fuck you up with steel pipes, take your money, cellphone, and dignity, and if you so much as raise your voice against any of them, you're toast.

    I've seen it happen, firsthand. It came right into my dorm room, over something as stupid as a bag of mushrooms.

    This does seem true.

    Chris: Your goal (to not be made fun of) can only be achieved if you make an effort to learn and rise above where you are now, if you work to learn the skills that you lack currently.

    No amount of griping, whining, and placing blame on the assholes that rough you up will ever change a thing.

    And so, you should focus on learning and changing.

    And for everyone else reading this thread, so should you!

    Perfectly said.

    Also very well said.

    And it's the truth -- to the people who are harassing you, it is a mere joke. You are the one who is interpreting it negatively, they are getting a kick out of it and enjoying it. The only reason that you feel bad over it is because you percieve it as a bad thing due to your own insecurity.

    And this is something that you must change if you ever want to feel good about yourself. Nobody else will feel good about you, if you can't feel good about yourself first.

    Then get the fuck off of these forums. This person is trying to help you, giving you advice (to lighten up), trying to explain your situation in more understandable, human terms, and you are interpreting his kindness as "brothering" you, or more accurately, patronizing you. But this is simply not true.

    And what the fuck is wrong with brothering? I wish I had someone, a brother perhaps, to explain all of this shit to me ahead of time.

    Get over yourself.

    You must learn to lighten up.

    Even on these forums, you are having a fit every time someone says something that you don't agree with.

    Just like confidence, lightening up is a skill! It requires intelligence, discipline, and effort!

    You sure seem to be handling this like an adult too. :rolleyes:

    Ignoring a problem is the ultimate concession of defeat.

    If you like cookies, start a thread somewhere else, don't piss on this guy's thread. He's asking for help. If he won't take advice, then leave, get the fuck out of here. Don't be an asshole about it.

    You sound like me a long time ago.

    One thing that is probably troubling you is that you likely also don't get acceptance from girls, let alone the guys.

    And I can tell you right off the bat, they won't like you for being a gentlemen. Maybe during some times, they will, if they really appreciate it.

    But think about it -- how much would you appreciate someone holding a door open for you? Men are like commodities to women! ;) They get plenty of doors held open, all the time, what makes you special?

    A lot of chicks dig the "bad guy," the guy who is confident, secure in who they are, and can take jokes and joke around. As of now, you self-admittedly do not have any of these qualities.

    Of course, many chicks also complain about the bad guys, because those guys are usually overconfident, oversecure (to the point of being domineering), and do not take many things seriously, especially a relationship.

    But a girl is more likely to pay attention to someone who has too much of these things, than someone who doesn't have them at all. At least, that's my experience.

    There is a huge difference between a man who is being a gentlemen simply because it is the right or polite thing to do, and a man who is being a gentlemen because he wants (and expects) something in return. ;) The confidence and security is the difference. A man who does something because it's right or polite isn't demonstrating any confidence or security. But with the right stares and aura of confidence, a gentlemanly act turns from a generic gentlemanly act into an act of attractedness or arousal -- and these are what chicks dig.

    "All the world is bitches & ho's" - Unknown :p If you can figure that one out (hint: you can't take that sentence literally), you can figure a lot of things out.
     

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