good morning to you all. and is it a good morning. woowee. 13th day of work in a row and tomorrow i am off. you cannot understand my thrill. i was gonna post this in the relationship forum but i thought i would do it here, whenever i post somewhere else i dont get replies. have you ever noticed a pattern to your partners? i do! i have discussed this with several of my friends and they all see the same thing in me. i tend to become romantically involved with the guy who needs a mama, the type that i have to say "now so and so, why is it that you spent all the money?" "how come you dont come home?you should call""stealing that was so wrong" i am not sure if it was because i have had to be a caretaker almost my entire life. first i am an oldest child, then i had a brother born mentally and physically retarded, adn lastly my mother's braindamaged from a car accident. we had her at home for A WHILE. so at the age of 13- i was helping take care of my little sis, my special brother, my mother who required feeding, changing and anything else you can imagine; also a stepfather who was going out of his mind and turning to coke and crack. it was just the way it was- i am not bitching just explaining a background. seems life has thrown me the hand of being caretaker. no biggie-its kinda fun. but the men i get involved with are ones that are not emotionally mature. they are the ones that run to mommy to fix thier problems. they are always....and i dont know how this fits into the equation...an addict of some sort. my ex died from an overdose. my husband(his is a little different)is a "i cant say no." if it is there he does it, even if its a matter of putting us on the line. these men always have an "i dont do anything wrong attitude" perhaps it is the addiction, as i have been told or perhaps its cause i let them convince me that it was me. now here is the tide change. i am at a different spot in my life now. i am strong and confident and beautiful. i dont mean that i always feel that way. i am human and in being so i go through days where all i do is mentally kick my ass. i dont feel i am pretty enough or smart enough or what my ideal man would be looking for. but those days are less and less, the self love that i feel now is quickly squashing away those demons of self doubt. i say and smile saying it because i know it to be true....that next time....i will not settle for anything less than my soulmate. and my soulmate will not tell me that he "hates the way i think"(as my hubby has said) do you think it is possible to change patterns---to go from being a rescuer to being a patner? my selections havent intentionally followed this pattern at all, just seems to be the way it is. i think since i feel a large glowing energy inside myself now that i would not be satisfied with anything but a lover who can give to me as much as i want to give to them!!! do you have patterns, a certain type taht you tend to gravitate towards? do you think people can start a new cycle or are stuck in the one they are currently in, afterall, everything else in nature is cyclical?!!!