I've been living day to day, only waiting to play late at night with a friend from across the hall in a drafty stairway, where chalk covers the walls we sit and trade sound for sound escaping our souls telling each other stories without words sharing each others sorrow, anger, and joy through harmony as best we can... with limited ability. Its all beautiful jsut the same. The best therapy I've encountered: when i feel the need for arms to hold me I hold my own guitar I can't change the way things are. But I can slow down my mind and react more slowly with reason and honesty over feeling.
part two: Last night a third sould joined our party, drifting back adn forth out of view from my position on the stairs as if he was scared for me to see him I heard him play: he decided to stay until early in the morning. he would not play his own songs for me embarrased by his ability? no. just afraid to share a piece unfinished I have felt the same way before. I went back to my room, and he followed. Only a week ago we were not speaking in more than "hello"'s and now he peeks his head into my room every night Like some light shifted and I'm seen differently He used to talk down to me Maybe I've evolved. He chooses my company over everyone ont he floor and i leave my door open. This is strange to me. He stayed until four, sharing ideas and music, nothing more.
part three: Another shift in my world, David peeks his head in my door and blows me a kiss he asks "why don't we hang out more?" I can hear megan and Kylee shouting my name beckoning me to join them. who are these people, who am i? When did i become a popular one? When did I make friends? Real ones this time, I'm scared to come home: to be alone. I guess I'll spend more time with my guitar and try to forget that you are only 40 miles away not far. I only want to interrupt my own life from this point on unless I'm called upon I love you that's how I've been. How are you?
