Parents who are not anti-drugs.

MAMA... are you asking for your own reference or what? Because your kids aren't much older than mine... but anyways, yeah, I think things along those lines- of, how I'm gonna talk to my son (when he's MUCH older)... I don't wanna seem a hypocrite or be all "drugs are just bad"...But, at the same time I'm not encouraging a teenager to do something illegal that could hurt him physically, mentally, etc.

I think, for me, I'm just not gonna make it a taboo topic. Not gonna lie about anything regarding that topic. If he wants to know what I Have or haven't done and what I've gone through personally with certain things..I'm gonna tell him. But he will know I will not have him doing stuff under age 18. His brain won't be developed and I am his mother, not (just) his friend... I don't want him to have to lie to me though when he does try things, cause most kids/teenagers do... so I need to figure out a way to strike a balance. All I can say is I hope my experiences can teach him things that some parents who've never done things or who aren't honest and haven't learned...can't really teach... but really kids are gonna be kids. And my job will be to give truthful info and let him know I am hear if and when he wants to talk with no judgement and no punishment. (if he is honest with me and comes to me... I find certain things otherwise n it's on. Can't fool this girl.)

 

i can't believe this actually worked. normally i see a comment like this as an invitation to make judgmental or negative comments.


the thread subject is something i don't have to worry about at this point. i would imagine i would try to be generally honest about drugs, but i would also encourage them toward other activities as an alternative.

 

AAAAGRRRGGGGH!!!!
I just spent like twenty minutes typing up a post and then hit the wrong key and POOF! it vanished!

Damn I hate when that happens! :toetap05:
will check in tomorrow.

 

OMG! That happens to me quite often on here...and ALWAYS..ALWAYS...when I type a long ass response. I feel your pain!

 

I would much rather know what my kids are doing. If they are going to do drugs I would much rather teach them to be safe about it instead if just telling them NO DRUGS. My kids are 3, 2, and 3 months so I am hoping no have a looooooong time before they need to know anything but still.

 

Yeah, mine is 2... so, LUCKILY I have time to think.

Cause even though I know I want honesty and facts and him being able to be honest...

I am kinda conflicted on this topic and will have to work out exactly how I will be later.

When I was younger I used to think...well, if your kids like 16, 17... just toke up with em. But you know... I've gotten older and experienced more hard drugs and have...different opinions now. I think ....well, if he's GONNA smoke weed for one... okay, at home when your age least...a certain age... but at the same time- as a parent- I do feel he could wait til after school when his brain is fully devolped and it's not my job to be his friend. But I guess if he is going to, I wouldn't be too hard on him or punish him. I'd rather know too.
I'd draw the line at any HINT of most other things though but weed. But I'd STILL want him to know I wouldn't PUNISH.

It's a topic I am glad I still have plenty of time to think on!!

 

My mom was always very open with me about drugs. She just taught me to be responsible with it. My hippies helped too. They always taught me about dosages and I feel that it is much better to be honest about everything and let them do what they are going to do.

 

Well obviously this is for future times. I'm not going to talk to my three and one year olds about drugs lol. I was at a party this past weekend, and one of my friends asked those of us with kids how we're going to handle the drug talk when our kids are older. It got me thinking.

People are finally listening to me! :toetap05:

Yeah, mine are tiny too, but it's something I have to think about.

 

Yeah definitely something you have to think about, even if they are tiny.

 

I know,I know... I didn't know if maybe you were asking about... I don't know... a nephew or niece or friend's kid, etc.

Yeah, this is something I've thought about a lot too.


and to hippiemomma... im just torn on what you are saying. I mean I feel ya.. I get it.. I DO. BUT... do I really wanna be teaching my 16 year old (when he is that old) about "doses"... I could teach him a lot and keep him safe but that's not my job... I think I should first try to encourage him to first focus on school and stuff...and then if he's gonna try something anyway- THEN the ways I can teach him and keep him safe... yea, that totally comes into play. I may change my mind though. I'm not sure.

Another... 12-14 years my views could change a lot...

 

Ok, let me try again.

I'll try to offer my meager advice, but I've only been "partaking" since I was about 12, have been married for 20 years and have 6 kids (5 girls ) ranging from 13 - 27, so not sure how much I can add.

When younger I was a veritable lab rat and tried every substance that came my way, with psychedelics being my preference (as many of you know ). I am now a daily weed toker, got my MMJ recommendation and everything, I still occasionally indulge in some psychedelics when the opportunity allows. I almost never drink alcohol, and never to the point of being "drunk". All of this I don't hide from my kids or wife, I don't flaunt it nor is it a problem. My wife dabbled when she was younger and had a bout with a cocaine problem that only lasted about a year. In the last 22 years I have known her, she has only had a glass of champagne and half of a wine cooler and has never smoked tobacco. (Girls take note; tobacco and alcohol wreak havoc on your skin, my wife has awesome skin and is often mistaken for "one of the girls" when out with the our older daughters. She essentially looks 10-15 years younger than her actual age of 51)

This arrangement has puzzled some folks, even good ol' Porkstock has puzzled over why my wife "allows" it. Well like I said, I don't flaunt it, nor do I act all secretive about it, it is more or less a non-issue.
Now concerning the kids, not a single one has ever had anything to do with drugs, none have ever smoked tobacco (watching Grandma die a slow, painful death from lung cancer kinda sealed that one) and only the two oldest drink alcohol, one only in social, dinner type of setting, the other, the son, is a typical 25 year old, short's hangin off his ass, getting lame tattoos that he regrets two weeks later, beer drinkin' average white male, although he is now a daddy and has grown up a lot in a fucking short period, so there is hope yet. I'm more concerned with his predilection for gambling. He loves playing poker, but doesn't have the wallet for it.
The strategy I have always adopted is the same one I adopt here, try to provide as much real factual information and discern the why's and wherefore's concerning drugs.

You would be surprised how many people begin to have a change of opinion when they learn the REAL history behind the drug laws in America and that they are based on just about everything EXCEPT the public well being. The majority of people don't even know that it is technically unconstitutional to dictate what a person does with their own body or what they consume. That is why the current drug laws are based on the medical efficacy of a substance, not its potential for harm. Drugs are then categorized based on a mish-mash of the drugs medical use + it's addiction potential, the more medical use/less addictive=less restrictions.
I have also made certain that my kids understand that laws do not dictate what is or isn't a drug and just because something is legal does not mean it is not a dangerous substance and vice-versa.

Next you have to be honest about one important thing, drugs are pleasurable and can provide some of the most memorable events in a person's life. The approach that all illegal drugs are "bad" and have no redeeming qualities is why programs such as DARE failed and will always fail, kids aren't stupid.
I have written on here about numerous drug adventures and similar, and my kids know about Hipforums, know my username and could read it anytime they want, I have nothing to hide.
I have even had lengthy discussions with one of my daughters about psychedelics and she is the only one who has ever expressed any curiosity concerning drugs at all. But she is currently on a very determined path to have double masters in mathematics and chemistry by 25, and earning a PHD in chemistry by the time she is 30, and I have no doubt she'll do it. After that she says she may try pot or something.

If you approach it with flat out honesty and facts, you will have the best results.

Sure cocaine and meth are fucking AWESOME and make you feel like a sexual GOD, but they are super addictive and with abuse can burn out your dopamine receptors so that you aren't able to experience ANY pleasure.

Alcohol can lower your inhibitions and make things a lot more "fun", but any amount of alcohol does damage to your internal organs, 30% more if you are a woman, and we should all know what alcohol abuse leads to.

Pot smoking is a relatively benign endeavor, but there is evidence that it can interfere with the developing endocrine system in pubescent children, (wish I knew that 40 years ago ) and that it would be safest to not really smoke much until after age 25 ideally. There is also the issues associated with smoking anything, you can develop emphysema and chronic bronchitis from smoking pot. Luckily CBD and THC appear to inhibit the development of cancer cells, so cancers from smoking only pot are rare.

Psychedelics have become one area that my views/warning have changed considerably. When I was in my heyday of LSD use, LSD was LSD, there were no "research chemicals" around, literally, Shulgin hadn't created most of them yet. So you were pretty much 98% sure you were getting LSD. Today there are more and more substances being released that mimic LSD and related, but can have very different effects regarding physiological effects and toxicity. I would now urge people, unless you know 125% what the fuck you have/are doing, stick with mushrooms or cactus and avoid powders, pills, and paper.

Opiates I just say, stay away, they just feel toooo damn good to not run a BIG risk of physical addiction, not to mention psychological/emotional addiction to the complete numbing of everything.

So my strategy is just honesty and facts, good and bad. Most people when presented with the truth, will often make smarter choices concerning drugs.
So far it has worked to keep my kids safe.

 

^^^ best answer thus far. Thanks for bringing the wisdom, Nox.

 

Nox, excellent post.

I am not opposed to recreational drug use but I am opposed to children (under16) using them. Now to be honest I used them before the age of 16 but I honestly feel that I probably was not wise doing so. I personally have not done so since the age of 22. It stopped being fun.

I never hid from my kids that I had used but at the same time I requested that if they wished to experiment that they wait until they were older. Thus far it has not been an issue and it is something we discuss from time to time. They have been honest in return and perhaps that is the best test to not ranting about it but discussing the pros and cons.

I know they will not touch tobacco after seeing me deal with crap. We are social drinkers and they have since young been "allowed" on special occasions to have a drink if they wished to. My daughter is now of legal age and other than feeling tipsy on her birthday when out with friends celebrating the fact, she has not had excess.

I would prefer that their focus stay on other things like their education, future, sports and hobbies and friends. So I would naturally encourage that. I am also wise enough to know that if they chose to experiment that there is nothing I can do about that, other than make sure they have accurate information and are as safe as possible while experimenting.

I do not think that drugs are terrible or evil but I do believe that there are some people who should not ever start. Not any different than alcohol or cigarettes. There are also some substances that I do not consider recreational and I really hope that those are not ones that they ever have an interest in.

 

Great post Nox and I agree and love this part of this post.
I don't have kids of my own yet, but my boyfriend does have kids and they are my life. I hope that when they are teens that we can have an open relationship and discuss things. I hope that when or if they get curious as far as drugs go and even sex that they can come to us about those kind of topics.

I want them to understand what can happen to them if they choose to use and get caught, and I want them to understand what the drugs can do to their bodies. I want them educated. I think maybe after a certain age and maturity I might give them a beer, or maybe smoke a bowl with them. Not like a Steel Reserve though lol.
I will also encourage them to wait and finish school, but at the same time they will do it behind our backs when we aren't looking.

 

Hi! And I agree there are some great posts here. Sex and drugs are the two that are really big. I kinda think the discussion needs to start really early, although not too much at once, but there are kids who are drinking and smoking in elementary school and if your kids know about that, what are they going to think?

 

Back in the 70's, in the small town that I grew up in, it was nothing for most of the adult men to be drinking a beer while driving to the hardware store or lumber yard. I don't remember too many Saturdays that my dad wasn't drinking a beer while working around the house and hopping into the truck to go to town to buy something for whatever project he was into. All the old guys had a beer in the truck and a truck bed full of empty cans. Dad stopped doing that in the early 80's before I started driving.

I always wonder if I would have drank and drove as much as I did when I was young if I never saw dad doing it. I also smoked pot. My parents always warned me against drinking while young, drinking and driving, and doing other drugs. Their advice didn't seem so smart at the time.

I was looking up research On drug prevention. It seems like talking about misusing drugs early on does help, but research shows that there is more to it than that. Also there seems to be more to preventing misuse of alcohol and other drugs than just trying to set a good example also.

This is a very important topic for parents because there is ever increasing evidence that excess drug use can have bad effects on an adolescent's development.

I found a few sites that talk about drug prevention research. The best one that I have found so far is below.


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The article makes a whole lot more sense than I do:
http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/adolescentflyer/adolflyer.htm

Edit: I cut out the junk

 

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When i have kids I will just tell em not to do drugs.. but If they really wanna they should try weed and maybe mushrooms. nothing else. especially not legal stuff. the worst drugs are legal.