Parents who are not anti-drugs.

First of all, NO JUDGEMENT OR NEGATIVE COMMENTS in this thread.

I'm wanting to hear from fellow parents who are not against responsible, recreational ( and occasional) drug use as an adult. This includes weed. Obviously I don't mean providing your children with drugs, or even encouraging it.

How did you handle the drug talk?

 

I have wondered about this.

Society seems to think being anti-drugs is the only mature or responsible attitude.

It's mega weird.

I understand that some drugs do have risks and anyone taking them has to be old enough to fully understand the risks. Drugs like marijuana are of course very safe though, certainly in reasonable quantities.

I think the best way is to just educate the child when appropriate, make them understand the pros and cons. Control drug use up until 18 as of course there are many things I would be uneasy about a mid-teen taking or younger. But... other than that, ultimately I think it's up to the kid when they get to 18 and they may accept or reject drugs themselves.

I think society overblows it all to be honest!

 

I think weed is ok for some. I smoked it on occasion in high school and college(can't now because if job). For some who already have emotional\mental problems, I think they should hold off until they get help. My stepson, who is an adult, had problems before his mom and I got married. I believe that he is out of control with weed. He can get a job because if it but he can't\won't quit. Even when he is not smoking it he acts braindead.

As far as talking, I tried to talk all of our kids out of using drugs when they were young. If they can use them without harm now that they are adults, I say have at it. I just don't think my stepson can do it in moderation or without harming his self.

If I didn't run a risk of getting tested at work, I might smoke one every now and then. Haven't touched it since I got out if college in 1992.

 

I agree with you on the control until 18. I also reminded our kids of the fact that their brains are still developing into their 20s.

 

Very good points. I'm absolutely going to encourage my children to wait until they're at least 18 before they experiment with anything. I was raised in an extremely conservative home, and I never touched a drug until I was 21. Until recently, it had been several years since I'd done anything besides seldom marijuana use. Honestly, I can't say I would freak out if I found out one of them was smoking weed when they're say...16 or so. I would however, encourage them to wait.

 

My kids tried different drugs when they came in contact with them in high school. Fortunately, they soon lost interest and haven't done any at all in years. I gave the usual spiel concerning dangerous drugs as opposed to weed and also mentioned the rate of brain maturity in young folks----wait 'till the 20s to --blah blah. There were virtually no drugs or drug culture ( maybe Jazz musicians and their weed) when I was young. Different deal now, as it's all out there and REQUIRES paying attention to, these days.

To add: I'm the only one in the family that uses weed. So it goes.

 

Mother is addicted to cocaine/crack. Father was an alcoholic who died of liver failure, and im just sitting here with my bong. They weren't ever restrictive on the matter. My guess is be cause they had no room to talk.

I wont touch coke. Or any synthetic drug aside from LSD. Wont drink more than a few beers. Pot and psychedelics are as far as i go. I learned from irresponsible parents to be responsibile. I wont restrict my kids either. Ill educate them on what i can, let them make the choices depending on their age, and let them paint their own pictures.

 

As a parent I advise other parents to use the internet to become familiar with drug slang. My neighbor's daughter got into pain killers then heroin a few years later in college. But he said that early on he would hear her on the phone saying "point fives" all of the time. He now knows - to late of course- that she was talking about .05 percosets.

Check it out: http://www.google.com/search?safe=o....1c.1.31.mobile-gws-hp..2.14.2594.cATjiRy8YrM

 

I was 16 the first time I put a joint in my mouth - I didn't inhale though, no kidding - 18 was when I started inhaling. I found the first evidence of my stepson's smoking pot when he was 16. I freaked out for a minute or two while his entire life went down the tubes in my mind. Then I realized that I was drinking and not inhaling pot at that age.

I very seldomly did it mainly because I was encouraged to play sports year round. I really think that if I didn't play sports and didn't have parents that participated, I would have done a lot more pot and probably other drugs. I know it is hard to encourage kids to participate in group activities and sometimes impossible for the parents to participate and support their kids due to a wide variety if circumstances, but if they can manage it, doing so is rewarding for the whole family and gives the kids something to do besides drugs.

 

My dad is an alcoholic crackhead who I haven't seen in a long time, so I'll just talk about my mom's stance. She doesn't use recreational drugs, aside from drinking a few glasses of wine everynight. She is very understanding about my drug use. She understands why I smoke weed, and she knows there's nothing wrong with weed. She understands why I occasionally dose psychedelics too, and she even allowed me to put 500mg of 2ce in capsules on her kitchen table. lol She provided the empty capsules too.

One night, approximately 10 years ago, she woke up in the middle of the night and found me tripping on mushrooms. I told her I had eaten some shrooms and she was like "why?", and I said "because I wanted to". lol We sat there together and watched music videos for a couple of hours, which was awesome(there were still some good music videos on VH1 back then). Eventually, she went back to bed. To this day, that's the closest I've ever felt to my mom.

 

That's amazing how your mom was able to keep calm and stay with you. My parents would have freaked out and made me panic. I would have been in a straight jacket instead of watching a movie with mom.

I might try psychedelics when I retire.

 

Yeah that's true. Makes you wonder how resilient it is. I mean... surely an 18 year old's brain is pretty robust.

I dunno, I guess it depends what you do and how much.

 

My son (now in his 30,s)- saw how addiction effected our lives when he was a kid. Thank the heavens he didnt go that way. However, when he was in the experimenting stage, I was concerned. I remember being pretty liberal and lenient with the marijuana use,as long as he was careful,and understood the laws and consequences.Things were very different 20-25 yrs ago. I never bought into that "gateway"drug propaganda ,but it did cross my mind back then . I was concerned that he would experiment with hard drugs
I spoke often about the dangers of hard drugs,,he was never interested in trying anything other than trips ,weed, and alcohol though,,,eventually ,as he got older, he found that drugs weren't his thing.
We have had many talks about his drinking,as I think he drinks way too much. He has his own kid now and it is concerning.
I was a drinker many yrs ago,and his mother died about a yr ago from complications brought on by alcoholism.
Even though I was,and still am on methadone ,he doesn't judge,and knows I did the best I could( with much help from gramma)- I think being open and honest is/was key- talk to your kids,, of course don't glorify or encourage the use of drugs,but we can use our experiences to teach them- Lay out the rules of the home. Once they are 18 or move away, hopefully they will make responsible decisions- -it,s all we can do

 

My son is only one so its going to be a long time before I really have to deal with this but I've given it a great deal of thought because I know I'll have to deal with it one day.

I'm going to teach him that adults are free to do what they want with their bodies, and that includes ingesting substances that alter the mind. I want to teach him that some drugs, when used respectfully and in moderation, can be beneficial for the mind and spirit, and some drugs can be extremely harmful - just like food.

I'll probably be pretty 'lax concerning my attitude with weed. I want him to understand that there is nothing wrong with adults doing it moderately, but that it can effect the developing brain so its best for teenagers to wait until they're older.

I really want to teach him to respect mushrooms and other hallucinogens as sacred and medicinal and not just something to get fucked up on. This conversation will probably come when he is an older teen as I think it takes a bit of maturity to understand it.

I want to teach him that most other harder drugs are really bad for the mind and body.

I just really want to be as honest as possible with him about everything.

 

Kids will always believe honesty and respect a parent for it..as long as a parent explains in a respectful and educational way..kids respond well

 

That's something I always think I about. I think my approach to it would be one where I'm open an d informative. Anything else would be hypocritical. I would have love to be able to discuss drugs with my mom, but that was not an option. I wouldn't encourage it, at least not until a certain age. It would be hard for me not to encourage the benefits of psychedelics. I always think of books and documentaries I think any experimenting teenager should know. I smoked weed for the first time when I was 16. I didn't do any other drugs until I was 18, but John was much more precocious with his drug experimentation. I'd also would hope he shares his struggles with opiate addiction, because I think hose are the kind of things that you always think won't happen to you.

 

Actually, when she first came into the living room, I was drinking some orange juice. I was panicked, at first. I ended up throwing up in the trash can. She asked if there was some Bacardi in the orange juice. I replied with "I ate some shrooms". After that, everyting was gravy though, because she didn't press me about it and we just sat there.........enjoying the music together. It was nice.

My mom doesn't like it when I take pills though, because I've abused the fuck out of xanax, but I also legitimately need xanax, so she has to hold onto the bottle for me and give me my daily allotment, which is 10mg. If/when I ever get ahold of a full bottle of xanax, I end up eating at least 20-30 of them, because I can't help myself. Xanax is what I call my "problem drug". Many drug users have certain drugs that are like their kryptonite, and xanax is mine. It sucks too, because I actually need xanax for medicinal reasons, but I can't control myself when I have massive amounts of xanax at my disposal. I'll eat them shits like candy.

 

Beautifully said

 

Wow, lots of great opinions and perspectives. Both my kids are still very young, and it'll be years before it becomes an issue, but it's definitely something I have to think about. I do plan on talking to them about what drugs I feel are ok, and the potential they hold. One thing I do know, is I'd be a hypocrite and a liar to take the "drugs are bad, mkay?" approach.

 

To be honest... if all drugs were bad... why would people love them so much? xD

Including alcohol