Paper I had to write for my sister.

Discussion in 'Writers Forum' started by rebelfight420, Apr 29, 2007.

  1. rebelfight420

    rebelfight420 Banned

    My sister is in 8th grade and she asked me to do her project for her which I did:toetap: It had to be about a utopia and your best form of government here it is.It only had to be 2 pages long.



    THE CREATION OF THE UTOPIAN WORLD

    By Sissy Brown

    I heard the deafening wave like sound from my window seal. It was a



    Sound in which my ears have never heard but one that shall not ever perish from memory. A short yelp was quickly followed. I gazed out the window beyond the green shrubbery and the hammer and sickle banner hanging outside of my house and the banner which was filled with sentimental values which my ancestors proudly fought and died for. What was outside turned out to be the first gun shot that started the campaign against the Marxist forces that have occupied my country for the past twenty years and started the Utopian world but the bloodshed was usually confined to the rural parts of the mostly proletariat sections which usually helped because the working class were always felt a sense of jubilancy at mustering a militia and fighting off the fascist forces that were threatening to turn them into slaves. After the long period of hostility our meritorious government succeeded in unifying our broken empire into the splendid indefectible place it is today.

    We have adopted the Marxist way of life with some Democratic characteristics put in. We have completely abolished the monetary system we rely on what we call “work points” it’s a special type of currency you put in how many hours of production you have achieved. The more “Work Points” you have been awarded the more vacation time you have off. This special way of currency accelerates the momentum in which the workers finish also it does away with the possibilities of inflation and robbery. Also it lessens the impoverished masses because people who can work are already provided an abode, attire, transportation and nutritious food. And those who are unable to manage to carry out their duties because of illness or some other cause are provided for by the government.

    The penal system gives the incarcerated rehabilitation and attention whether then throwing them in a bedraggled cell that is overcrowded. They are allowed to engage in physical workouts and given healthy desirable and beneficial foods. They are given a opportunity to get a knowledge of their chosen apprenticeship and are given anger management techniques.

    We believe in a separation of the Church and the State formulated believes are acting like sedatives for the people when they should be learning about the changes in the factual realm they are learning more omnipotent divine being with no real relation with today’s humanity. Religion is not forbidden but it is not part of the body politic.

    We have abolished all militaristic needs. We rely specifically on the civil disobedience tactics of Thoreau and Gandhi. We will help any region that is war torn by sending Humanitarian workers in the desired place to fix the quarrel. We use pacifism as our strength against a tyrannical ruler. Our country fought in the beginning before we became as sophisticated as today.

    So in our society we have created a type of overall peace
     
  2. My sister is in 8th grade

    8th grade what in hells name is that ???? how old is she ????

    I imagine 8th grade means she is 12 in which case I dont think people are going to think a 12 year old could have written that as it seems to have been cobbled together fr5om a couple of nazi websites - have you been eating nazi flavoured BS by any chance?
     
  3. rebelfight420

    rebelfight420 Banned

    She is 14 whats nazi about it?
     
  4. White Scorpion

    White Scorpion 4umotographer

    I don't think I would have put quite in the same words as Ronald, but he is right. This doesn't appear to be the average school essay project for 12 year old students.

    Are we missing the punchline here, rebel, or is this just a private joke for coneheads?
     
  5. sorry I misread it. Yeah its all right but now theyre gonna think your sister is a raving marxist and will probably report her to the authorities who will most likely have her executed. You are in the united states arent you? How much did you used to like your sister ?
     
  6. dirtydog

    dirtydog Banned

    Rebelfight:
    It sounds like there are two factions, Utopian Marxists and some other, unnamed faction. Apparently you are on the Utopian Marxist side, and there is a strong Party or government ideology telling people how to run their lives. However, since your writing style isn't very clear, I'm guessing here.

    At any rate, I'm not a big fan of having the government or the Party telling me what to do. You also use the term 'We' quite a bit. Is 'We' another word for Joe Stalin, or maybe Orwell's Big Brother?
     
  7. WE (I think it means the peoples proletariat as envisioned by marx)
    It could mean Week Ending
     

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