Funny Day at work We were Really Quiet so I was Thinking about Sacking The day ,When These Two Girls Appear At the back Door . Blah blah blah" We live Behind the factory over there"! Pointing and "we are Looking For some Pallets For our Back Garden " TBH They Looked Quite fit and I thought My boss might Wanna see Them So I took Them to his Office . At first He didn't Want To give them any although we throw loads Away But They were quite Chatty and a Bit Flirty So He asks How Many they Need ? " About Twenty we are Making a raised up area to Sunbathe so Pallets Covered with Cushions Would do the Trick !! "Ok Then You can Have Twenty Pallets " How are you Gonna Get them Home ? You Have a Fork Truck There (the Cheeky Flirty one Flashing her Eyes At Boss ) OK Mally Jump on the fork Truck and Whizz Twenty Pallets Round Their Back Yard !! Fine so Far But our Fork Trucks are not Licence'd for the road So There Is a Back Alley (dirt track ) behind the factory !! There are bollards But the Truck will Fit through with about an inch each side , Twenty Pallets and a Tight Squeeze Later I got Though the Gap so My Boss Fucks Off Back in the factory "Do you want a Cup Of tea or anything " No I gorra Get Back They Fuck off in the house to put the Kettle on or Summat While I handball this ( Quite High ) Load of Pallets Through Their Gate ! Sweating and Swearing I get Pallets Off and jump on the Truck Back Down the Alley Got half way through and the Fucking Truck Bogged Down in the Dirt slid Sideways and Jammed on a Bollard ! Had To Walk Back get another Fork Truck ( and a Driver ) to go rescue the First Truck Finally Got Back in Work And My Boss Said " Did you Get a Brew off Them " Winking "they were all right weren't They " " Fuck off tony See you Monday "
LOL... reminds of when my supervisor (when I worked for a home improvement lumber yard) decided to try and drive the 10 ton lift into a field for some reason and it dug itself into the dirt. had to use the big one, 20+ ton capacity, to tow it out with a chain. or the time I was stocking lifts of plywood in the store. we would have 4x4's on the floor and rest the plywood on them and then cut the bands off the stack. So I've got the big forklift with a stack of about 70 sheets of 3/4" plywood putting it into the rack. Well the forks are only 6 feet long and the strap on the end of the stack snapped so the bottom sheet was hanging down a bit. It was just enough to catch the 4x4 and push it into the wall. I don't notice a thing, I'm sitting on this monstrous forklift and don't notice a problem. Suddenly one of the store managers comes running around to the yard yelling for me to stop. It seems has was on the other side of the wall helping a customer and the wall starting moving towards them. I literally pushed a section of wall out about 5"............LOL If you saw what I had to do to get the large dimensional lumber into the store, you would shit. 20' long beams laid across the 6' forks with about 4" of clearance on either side. I had to run them along the first half of the lumber area making sure to stay centered, THEN I had to lift it about 15' in the air to clear some displays and lumber racks, but if I went higher than 15' 3", I would take out the air conditioning unit. Only crinkled it a little once. I got pretty friggin' good driving that beast. I was the only one who could run the big lumber in without fucking things up. then there was the time loading pallets of concrete and a 90lb bag of portland cement fell about 14' and exploded on the ground. I just turned the forklift off and walked away telling customers that part of the store was off limits as the mushroom cloud of cement dust fill half the lumber yard......LOL
i did a couple different stints working for the parks department in my hometown. there's one particularly muddy spot in one of the parks. the first time i was working there, i got the lawnmower stuck there, walked back to the equipment garage to get the compact utility tractor to pull it out, and got it stuck too. my boss had to come pull them both out with something else (i don't remember what). then the second time i was working there, i got my pickup truck stuck in the same spot. so i got another city worker to come down with the 4 wheel drive to pull me out, and instead of coming in from the dry side he tried to drive all the way through the swamp, and of course got that one stuck too. a third city worker ended up getting us both out with the backhoe, making a huge hole in the ground as he almost got it stuck too.
I used to use a fork loft to get crated motorcycles from the warehouse. They were stacked up about ten feet. Got my brothers International pickup stuck in a field of poison ivy one time. We had to dig under the front axle and put logs there to jack it up, then put logs under the wheels.I scratched for a month. Another time I tried to ford a small steam with my Kabota tractor, cause it had four wheel drive ya know. That didn't work. I buried that front axle also. I thought I could use the backhoe to pull it out backward but all that did was dig out the bank. So I got a bunch of 8 foot fence posts I had laying around and laid a couple crosswise on the mud under the front bucket, which I had raised up. Then I brought the bucket down on them to raise the front of the tractor. Once I got it as high as possible I jammed more posts as far as I could under the front wheels. After repeating about ten times I managed to walk it back far enough to grip firm ground and drove it out. Basically I built a corduroy road under the tractor. Took about 4 hours. And I should tell you about the flagpole sometime. That wasn't my doing but I got to watch, it took a week and a helicopter to fix that.
mally works?... geeze i thought he was just an old geezer thats retired and tries to remember his youth by hanging around young folks at bars :wheelchair: :drummer:
OK, here's a good one. In the early-mid '90's I worked at a place that made natural food coloring and flavorings. Think I've mentioned before that most of you have probably eaten something during those years that I made scary thought, isn't it anyway one day we had mixed up about 3000lbs of coloring for Breyer's cherry Ice cream. It used beet juice liquid and beet juice powder and a few other ingredients, blood red and stickier than whale snot.. so we covered everything up and left for the day and planned on filling bottles and stuff the following morning. I gave my coworker, Tim, a ride each day and we got in to work around 7:30, open the production warehouse door, walk in and out of the dark we hear "Tim? Nox? is that you?" We were both puzzled and turn on the light to find Dan, the 74 year old co-owner of the company, sitting on a steel mixing bowl from one of those industrial Hobart mixers next to the tank that had the Breyer's color in it. He had his finger stuck in what was left of the broken 3/4" drain pipe and was covered head to toe in sticky red beet liquid. The old fool came in early to do something and needed something off a rack and the moron hit the tank with the forklift and sheared off the valve on the tank .....LOL Now this sucker was about 8' in diameter, about 36" deep and sitting on a platform that was about 24" high, so when he knocked the valve off, that shit came shooting out of there at rather high velocity......it looked like a friggin slaughter house floor in there. Tim immediately took a path behind some pallets to get towels, nearly pissing his pants because he was laughing so hard without making a sound. I managed to find a rubber stopper and quickly hammered it into the pipe, but not without getting doused myself, while Dan moaned about his sore ass, he had been sitting there for almost 2 and a half hours with his finger plugging the leak like the little Dutch boy....... BUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That was/is easily one of the top five hilarious things I have seen, even more funny because we all hated that old fuck. He was a greasy, slimy salesman. If you looked of sleazeball used car salesman, it would have his picture. The kind of guy who smiles in your face as he drives the knife into your back. To give you an idea, when the company was sold and we found out Dan was staying on to manage the place for them, EVERY employee except one walked out and quit. You should have seen the look on the new owners representative when we all told him "If he stays, we go" and we all did. Granted there were only 7 employees, but I was the production manager and one of two people who knew how to properly make the various things we made. he had that jaw dropped look of "oh what the fuck have I gotten myself into" confession time: a couple weeks after leaving there I set up a batch file on my computer so it would call their number and try to send a fax. I would start it and then leave for the day. It would call about 2 minutes after they would hang up, allllll day long.
