Hello everyone, I am a 24-year-old female in a long term relationship with my partner of 7 years. My partner is 25. We are both each other's first and have never been with anyone else before. I have always been experiencing pain during penetrative sex however, usually, I have a very bad habit of not voicing out as I don't want to spoil the moment or "interrupt". I have gone through sexual abuse when I was younger and I am not sure if the pain I feel is psychological? Perhaps I was hardwired to just "take it" when I was younger. I have had bleeding and intense pain after sex which I had to go see a doctor, my cervix was bruised and veins had been burst. I think it's also worth mentioning that he is a lot bigger than me physically, I am about 5'1 and he is 6'4. I don't really know how to communicate with my partner although he is really receptive and tried his best. Also, I have never managed to finish with him during intercourse and have never really been fully satisfied (although I really wish I could be) but he doesn't know about that either. Yes, we do use enough lube and I am relatively relaxed... The pain feel more like cramping and sometimes it gets so bad that I don't even want to move. I know position plays a role however I don't want have to restrict myself and him to positions as well. I guess I am at my wits end and have no idea what else to try or do...
Hi I wish I had something magical to say to help you. I am 69 and many older women after menopause suffer with vaginal atrophy. You are so very young. What did your physician say? He or she should be your best place for advice and information. If no then seek out a different female physician. Please keep communications open with your boyfriend. Many woman do not always have a rip roaring climax. I discovered that after you have pain you are afraid to have sex. Not as relaxed as you should be. Good luck to you Vanesatan Maybe some that has had a similar situation will see your post be of some help. Take Care.
I'm sorry that you were abused. That must've been unimaginable. That's the worst thing for love imo. You must be broken hearted. As for you physical pain, it's probably something to do with lubrication.
See if you can find a sex friendly gynecologist. Ask other women in your town of their opinion of their gyno. One thing I know of that can cause pain in younger and older is bladder rupture into the vagina. It creates a bulge spot and is painful during sex. I don't profess to be an expert in such matters and all gynecologist are not created equal in their handling of sex issues. They make their big money doing surgery, not consultations. If I were you before I let anyone cut on me I'd get a second and maybe a third opinion from someone who does not know the person that recommended surgery, maybe in another town. Most insurance will pay for a second opinion.
Among what others have said. Also it could anything: he's being too rough with you, you say you "don't want to spoil the moment" then this could be part of the problem as you're not allowing him to recognise what is good or bad for you so he's not learning what is pleasurable for you. But some guys might see this as bad on their behalf and get into a mood over it instead of talk about it with you, so you have to explain this with him if you think he might be feeling like that. his penis is too big for your vagina, possibly he's going too deep too often and so not allowing your vagina to accommodate his rhythm. Your height difference makes no difference. "I know position plays a role however I don't want have to restrict myself and him to positions as well" - very true, but sometimes trying different positions is how we learn new things, sex is all about "playing" with each other so try make it fun instead of treating it as a sort of choir just for only one of you to orgasm. Communication is vital for both, from talking about things that turn us on all the way through to during sex using our body movements and how we verbally express our feelings. Never ever ever be afraid to tell him your feelings and likes/dislikes.
it could be Vaginismus, it is a tightening of the vagina, sometime caused by previous abuse. My wife had lifelong troubles with that.
I notice the negative phrasing when referring to guidance. "spoil the moment" "interrupt" "restrict (positions)" He does want you to enjoy yourself, so "lets do this a bit differently" isn't restricting him, but helping him.
As the saying goes big women big fanny, little woman all fanny, its just a saying but its true, I think a dilator set would be a help here they are a set of round plastic rods that slowly expand the vagina, they get bigger as you go up the set, this may help your problem for a good lubrication try coconut oil as it is good and natural, and the main thing is it has lots of slip that keeps going, its a liquid it the summer and goes solid this time of the year, just get some on your hand and it soon goes back to liquid, worth a try.
