Paedophilia and Paedophiles:posts from the kinky forum

I think (posten in the kinky forum) http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=112264 gose here too. This isn't to promote paranoia about the subject but Id really like a good conversation to go on here on this. So please read it. But read it with an open mind. Not to adjust yoruself to say this behavior is "ok" but to just notice cultural differences on it. Heres my view that I wrote there. I think this topic gose in parenting too because were the ones with the 14 year olds etc...What is acceptable and what should be accepted sexualy from people?/kids. putting aside the laws in different countries does anyone relly know what sexual behavior does to the brain of a teenager or their emotional and physical body?there is also a whole nother thread http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=113129 about children and sexuality in the kinky forum by the same poster... and another by the same poster in the kinky forum http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111234
and lets not forget this one...this guy has something to say I guess about sexuality of children http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111760.

some may say hes a perve . im not asking to know if you think hes a perve because we all know some of you will just look over the threads and reply. thanks

Also I was wondering if most of these folks who are all for a young age of consent have kids or not. Seems like they don't. Im not saying it makes their or our views right or wrong but it's a good point to make.

I'd say that Americans have many taboos about sexuality but can you blame them. with all of these things being taken seriously - "a society that has high levels of STDs, Teen Pregnancies, Abortions, Rape, Sexual Violence, Domestic violence, Child Molesters, serial killers and the like" What can you expect from a societe with all of these sexual problems? Should se jsut let it be suddenly alright to accept that our age of consent at 18 is too late of a number and lower it without knowing any better. I still don't see any nurological evidence that suggests that a 14 year old teenager is ready for sexual relationship with older people. Sure you have your period and you "bloom" and you could fuck anything you want but what are the emotional differences of the ages? I masterbated since I was 5 years old had sex at 15 ..I knew people who had sex with older men all the time and it was no big deal back then...but not one of those men treated them with respect...they were jsut a good young fuck at the time and not one of them is with their young woman now. Also a womans body may be ready for sex that young but the pregnancy of young women of that age is very harsh on their body. It's not fully developed at all. Maturity to raise a child should definatly be considered. Which none of you have even brought up. Keep in mind here in America someone that young cannot even work to make money or drive a car. Maybe if given the rights to do so people may mature a little faster in these areas. But don't "bag" on America if you yourself have never been here. Our cultural differences are much different obviously and you can't blame us for our points of view having never lived any differently. And you can't blame us for not wanting 14 year olds to have sex with 25 year olds or whatever seeing that the maturity of a lot of them here is prety low and the amount of men who would just prey on young women would skyrocket like crazy causeing even more unwanted pregnancies and single mothers. We already have enough of that here. The problem isnt letting people jsut fuck whoever tehy want without laws. The problem is that people don't teach their children about sex. That should come first before we lower the law to a younger age. As soon as parents can handle the fact that sex is possibly healthy younger it won't work. Because you could lower the age but the education won't be there.

 

I am not here to bash on the US, as I have never been there, but I have experienced some of it's culture as I have worked and gone to school in american institutions.


But as a comparison I can give an example of my life.
The only time that I was taken sexual advantage of was when I was 15, and the guy was 16. He was just looking around to screw. I am now with a man, I met when I was 16, and he was 22. We are 6 years apart, and he was very gentle to me, never pushing with anything.

Just as an example, that the age difference doesn't have to be big in order that the older takes advantage of the younger.

I don't know what the age of sexual consent in Germany is, because it's not taken as serious as in the US. It is more a question of interpretation. If parents feel, that the person, who's older then their child, is taking advantage of him/her, they have the possibility to go to court. And there will be numerous psycological tests about maturity and things, and if the relationship is based on love or abuse. It's not just about age.

Generally, I have the feeling, that no matter what age a couple is, that in the US bigger age differences are a lot less acceptable then in europe. (this is just my impression) Most couples I know have an age difference of 2 to 6 years.

I also believe that there is a big difference between a 20 year old dating a 15 year old and a 20 (or whatever age) year old paedophile. But in a society that puts a general taboo over everythin that has the slightest notion of sex, nobody can tell the difference.

If anything sexually is more liberal, and people don't have to be ashamed of everything, it is probably a lot easier to tell the normal part from the dangerous and perverted* part. If kids can come to their parents and introduce their boyfriend and girlfriends, parents are more likely to get a real idea of that person. If sex-ed would take place properly in school, and not just "KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED" lectures, there would be a smaller chance of teen pregnancies and teens with stds, because people then KNOW what's going on and what to take care of.


*Perversion is also created by society,i. g. in ancient greece it was totally normal for rich men to have a boy around for sexual pleasure, and the boy was given the possibility to get a proper education in return. I don't think this is right, but i just want to mention this fact.

 

My take on it is this -

there's a world of difference in terms of "thinking/believing yourself to be mature" and being mature.

Just a point.

Ask any 13 year old girl, she knows EVERYTHING and is SO SO SO MATURE.

That's why the kiddie diddlers want to make it about "well, does she feel she's ready?" Of course she does. It's a grown up thing to do and you know, she's all grown up and wants to prove it. Tobacco companies play on this too.

Problem is, is she ready for all the head games? The relationships involved? The potential complications? STDs? Pregnancy? There's evidence that early sexual involvement can cause cervical erosion. Pit me against a 13 year old in terms of manipulation or head games and I WILL WIN. But then again I don't want that kind of relationship - being a mature male, I want the companionship of an equal, not someone who thinks like Hanson is so, like, cute.

To answer my question, the answer is NO. She can't vote, sign a lease for an apartment and in many places will have limited employment options given she hasn't yet finished high school. She is not considered an adult - not legally, not morally, not in terms of what she can do.

A lot of the argument the diddlers fall back on centers on a physical readiness.

Or a comparison to cultures in which there is no real childhood - girls as soon as they can walk are expected to assist in cooking and childrearing and are looking after younger siblings by 7-8... so sure she's an adult at 13 - she's been working in the factory for two years already...

So then they get personal. You must be frigid. Repressed. Secretly gay. Lying.

Whatever. Trying to make that kind of attack didn't work in high school and won't work now.

I want my daughter and son to enjoy a childhood. And to enter into that kind of thing, if and when they feel ready, by peers, preferably as late as possible and as informed as possible. I do not want my 14 year old in a sexual relationship with someone in his 20s or later, and I will enforce this with a set of brass knuckles.

 

well said irongoth

 

You're swimming against the current here. Many people here, totally unclear on the issues and having never seen what that kind of thing can do, seem to think themselves cultured or hip or wonderfully degenerate for supporting this kind of crap.

What does this sort of trip lead to?

1) When the girl grows up and realises that it wasn't about care/love for her, but the fact that she was young and she was basically, er, used --- she'll develop a bitter hatred for men. For example, Alanis Morrissette who "came out of the closet" about how bitter she now is --- trust me when she was a teenager she was a bitch on wheels bragging about her contacts and so self-assured and so mature.

2) Or, conversely she learns at a very early age that sex is a game to be played and that it conveys power. That she is desirable and men will risk everything including jail to get at her. Whoops. Now you've created a monster.

or

3) A 15 year old teen mother who keeps nagging at ya for child support. Damn, b*tch at least a toilet doesn't follow you around after ya use it ---- scenario 3 isn't what the diddlers have in mind. And naturally they would prefer the parents of the 15 year old to take on the full responsibility which the diddler doesn't want and the teen isn't equipped to handle. Gee f*cking thanks, you inconsiderate assholes.

 

When I was 14 I was involved with someone who was 27. I did not know he was 27 at first, he first told me he was 18. And then a few weeks later, he told me he was 27. It ruined my life. And when I think about it now, it makes me sick.

My parents weren't aware because I would lie to them, he said if I told anyone then that would mean I didnt love him. I lost my virginity to him and regret it everyday of my life, and I will regret it till the day I die. It was in the back of his car in a parking lot at night during the winter. I cried and screamed cause it hurt so bad and he just wouldnt stop. It hurt so bad that I couldnt sit down for days.
He was very manipulative and a disgusting piece of trash. But at the time, I was very naive and thought he loved me.
When my parents found out, they called the police and I was horribly sad and angry. He was put in jail for 8 years, 6 if he is good. Apparently he had gotten a 13 year old pregnant prior to meeting me and this was his second or third time doing this. And he was also charged then..
When he first was arrested, again I was upset and mad at my parents (i cant believe how stupid I was)
And six months went by and I had went to the sentencing and during that siz months, I realized everything. And didnt want him to do this to anyone else and that he took apart of me, him being a grown man and knowing what exactly he was doing. I went to the sentencing and was able to read a letter I wrote about how this affected me. I remember throwing up all night and all morning cause I was so scared. The judge also ordered that he was aloud no contact with his daughter unless it was supervised.
I just know that people can assume that its okay and not damaging for a 20 something year old to mess with a child, (cause thats what I was a child) and let me tell you, that is something that still haunts me and it ruined my childhood and made me grow up before I was ready to.

 

Exactly. Being used sexualy leads to many mental problems and sexual problems.

 

It really does.
I didnt have sex after that until I was 20 and had been with my bf for three years before we did anything sexually. And when we are intimate I get scared sometimes and my stomach starts hurting really really bad. Or if I close my eyes when we are intimate I just invision his face and start to panic, and then I start feeling nauseas. And I start having anxiety attacks sometimes if he is on top of me.
All of this doesnt happen at once and it doesnt happen all the time.

 

and lowering the age of consent leads to young people girls and boys being used.

 

IronGoth, This is said perfectly.
I think this is twice now that I have agreed with you. *scary*
Really, though ~ Very good response!

 

Because you let it. Were you truly a "victim"? I mean my aunt was married at 14, she has 3 kids and wonderful marriage--to the same man.

It's all perception. This man was a creep, but only because he fooled around and lied. But, suppose he had not. Should he still have went to prison? Even if he wanted to take care of you?

You didn't feel like a victim until after the Western Culture social conditioning got into your head.

But, alas...I am only one voice and I am ignorant of the entire situation.

 

I was also involved with someone who was 29 when I was 14. At the time I thought it was all perfect. And I thought he was the best thing since apple pie.


I *now* look back and think about what a sick fuck he was. I was a child! And I feel that he crossed a boundry that is a respect for children. Now, because of that experience I have a hard time trusting men. I am always wondering if they are looking at the children walking down the street or when they drive by the school are they fantasizing? Are they dreaming of fucking these kids? Well the answere is yes. So many men don't respect childhood.

Yes, perhaps is is social conditioning but the thing is, is that sex comes with alot more then just pleasure. Just like IronGoth said. It comes with the head games, confusion, stuff that children aren't equipted to deal with. And pregnancy. A childs body may be menstrating but its just a fact that their body isn't ready. The pelvic bones aren't fully developed amongst many other things. (High risk pregnancy,birth defects ect.)

So because of this "social conditioning" well then,also, the result is that these children aren't ready.Emotionaly,Physicaly, ect. ect.

I don't get why its so hard to understand.

At 14 I *could* convince any older guy I was ready.... I did, many of them. But you know what? I was in NO way ready and I feel they took advantage of my childhood. Parts of it I can never get back.

 

Perfectly said, and all issues I delt with in my teens and some feelings like this still arise. I still believe that its hard to find a man that has self control sexually.

 

Libertine, your own set of circumstances is different, and none of my critique is against you.

 

RE: I just know that people can assume that its okay and not damaging for a 20 something year old to mess with a child, (cause thats what I was a child) and let me tell you, that is something that still haunts me and it ruined my childhood and made me grow up before I was ready to.

Here are the facts -

she was physically ready
she was sure of what she wanted and not coerced
she believed full well at the time she was mature and capable of her own decisions.

Er....

but now she's lost her childhood, by her own admission.

That's a hell of a thing to lose. Imagine being the next boyfriend. "Oh my God, you're crying..." "No. No, it isn't you.... honest..."

I rest my case.

 

Well yay for you and your aunt, I guess by your statement you would fuck a child.
You have no idea what I went through, and yes he should have went to prison, I dont feel the need to have to tell everyone here everything, I choose to summerize it.
He said that if I didnt have sex with him, then I didnt love him like I said I did. He would constantly say, show me how much you love me and so forth.
It was horrible and I am left scarred. Maybe thats okay for you to let a 27 year old convince a young naive 14 year old CHILD to have sex...
I laugh at your post cause it just shows truly ignorant you are. And I really feel sorry for you that you think its okay for grown adult people to have sex with young naive children. Thats what it was to him, like a game..
People who have sex with children, its obvious something is really wrong with them, if you cant see that, then im sorry for you.
He didnt want to take care of me, you dont know the half of it. And again, I left a whole lotta shit out and again just gave the quick version. So, try not to assume shit so much. Maybe you would be less ignorant.
He was a horrible sick fuck who just had sex with children, before me it was a 13 year old, and while he was with me, he was screwing with another 14 year old. Yeah, I have to say thats pretty fucking sick.
So again dont assume shit when you dont know ALL of the events that took place and so forth cause again, it just makes you more and more ignorant.
I had to tell a group of strangers and into a tape recorder exactly what happened when we had sexual intercourse, I had to say he stuck his penis in my vagina and so forth to a group of strangers. He was not gentle with me when he basically got on top of me, him being 100 pounds heavier then me, in his fucking car at night in a parking lot in December. He was so heavy and his hot breath just on me. And I couldnt breathe and it hurt so bad that I was crying and he didnt get the fuck off of me. So you werent there, you dont know him, you dont know me. You apparently dont know anything.
I felt used cause of all the stuff he was in jail prior to. It made me sick, he made me lie to my family and manipulated me. You may think differently and thats fine, but dont act as though I am in the wrong. Cause I am not.
And you may say that he didnt make you blah blah blah, you werent there and I was a kid, 14 is a child. What is freaking wrong with you people.
And again YES, yes I do think he should have went to prison.
When I was with him, I couldnt talk to me friends, he told me my family didnt care about me and that I should run away with him.
He went to prison for years cause he was a horrible man, he had prior convictions and shit you have no idea about.

 

Ok, so this particular guy was complete asshole. Granted.

But, if someone tries to make a point on the opposing side (even for the sake of argument) you and some of your other buddies on here can't stand it, so you resort to name-calling.

However in today's society, it's easy to conform to social mores, but when reality comes too close home, and we see that "kids" aren't that ignorant it becomes difficult to swallow.

The funny thing is that if were to have killed him, you'd have likely been tried as an adult!! -- The irony!

 

we leave our kids open to abuse because we REFUSE to see them in terms of physically mature. i wasn't raised that way. i was prepared by my family, because they knew the odds of getting me to behave the way they wanted me to were nil. i was educated, i was medically prepared, i was given trust and respect and responded appropriately. but yes, i became active at 14 and never looked back. i had a healthy relationship with a fellow teenager for 9 years. but people who persist in refusing to believe that these kids have sexual urges in overdrive leave their kids vulnerable and ignorant. yeah, i think a mature man and an immature girl is kinda sad. by the late twenties, he aughtta have more shit figured out. I KNEW THAT, because my mother knew what kind of girl she had on her hands. she knew i wasn't going to be twirling batons and riding bikes with banana seats and tassels. but to tell me that my relationship with my 14 year old boyfriend was criminal is just plain stupid, in my opinion.

 

Excellent point, KC.

 

KC, you made good points.