My girlfriend and I started dating about two weeks ago. I don't want to come across as rushing things or seem like all I'm worried about is the sex part of the relationship, because it is not. We've known each other about eight months we have been good friends that whole time and we know each other very well. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself. The thing is, she is completely amazing and understanding about everything. That is great of course, but sometimes it seems she is so much that way that I am just lacking in what I give in return. We have a considerable age difference and I'm afraid that at some point I'm going to become a kid to her because I can't give enough... I stress over things a lot. My problem is, I am a nervous wreck about sex... I care about her so much but I am afraid that I will say or do the wrong thing and make a fool of myself. ( I know probably everyone has/had that problem at some point) But, its so bad I get sick and completely upset and on the verge or do cry. She hasn't pushed the fact and said that we would know when the time was right and for me to let her know when I'm ready. And believe me, I want her, I do, bad... but I completely freak out in the situation and I'm not sure how to get over my nerves without turning it into a complete mess of a situation. If anyone has any advice on how to relax it would be helpful. And I don't want to drink/drugs or whatever to relax, for one I don't do that and I wouldn't want our first time to be under those conditions anyways... But thanks in advance to any advice it means a lot!
Only thing that kills anxiety is exposure therapy. Dive into it, nerves and all and once the first experience is over and the intensity of anticipation will be gone and things will be calmer. Or in crasser terms. Just fuck and get it over with!! It takes the tension off.
The only advice I, as someone who has been in the same kind of position as your girlfriend's pretty much(except I'm a guy), can give you is to tell everything you just wrote on here to your girlfriend DIRECTLY. You have to communicate, and let the other know of all the concerns that you might have in this relationship. I don't think you are quite ready to have sex with her, anyway. When you ARE ready, I think you'll know. If she really is as understanding about your situation as you say she is, then she will understand and respect where you're coming from. If you're worried about your own performance aspect, then just ASK her what she likes. Have her SHOW you how she likes it done. Tell her what YOU like, and show it to her, that sort of thing. Like I said, you have to maintain a high level of communication. Don't worry about the age difference. You two are together because it was meant to happen. Is she your soul mate? Well, I can't answer that. But at least I think you two were meant to cross path, and to share some moments together. Make sure you express to her how you feel, and also that she expresses her feelings to you, too. It's a two-way street. All the best.
Thanks guys, I'll try to talk to her about it, talking and expressing myself has always been my lacking department. I tend to run in circles when I get nervous, but I suppose its really the only option, rather than her assuming I have no interest or something. But thanks for the advise guys!
