Oral sex and shaving your privates..

I am still trying to get my girlfriend to do oral, both giving and receiving. I live giving it but she says it does nothing for her. I know she was in an abusive, controlling relationship with a guy for 25 years so I don't know if she has ever had good oral and maybe she is worried she isn't good at it herself.

I want her to feel comfortable with it..
And maybe give her new experiences that maybe she would enjoy.

She is the first woman I have ever been with that didn't shave down there. It's a little unusual, as I am not used to it. Not sure if I should ask about it.
I shave my own and find everything is more sensitive when shaved clean.

What do you all think?

 

I keep my pubes but shave the sack and agree that it makes a licking feel SO much nicer and I'm sure they appreciate not having to deal with long ball hairs lol.

I would mention that (shaving or at least trimming) as a way to improve her sensitivity. Offer to do it for her...could be quite erotic for you both. (However, no way would I allow anyone but myself to shave my balls..lol)

 

OK "break her in"? Don't be a dick.

But my hubby shaves his for me. It looks a little funny given it's a random circle of naked flesh in a sea of big hairy sasquatch fur. But I love it. Haven't choked on a hair in months.

It's greatly appreciated. So now I give him Blow jobs all the time.

I've shaved mine for 20 something years. He likes to give oral with and without hair but I prefer myself bare.

 

I shave everything from my head down to my nuts and I also like the sensitivity and feeling that I get from it. As far as your girlfriend is concerned, what does she think about your shaving? Maybe she will see how erotic it can be and start doing it herself. Ask if she would consider just a trim at first. If she’s not interested then so be it. But I bet I’m time she might grow to like it.

 

True that GP.

 

I shave my balls and keep the rest trimmed....

 

I'm trimmed very short 90% of the time. here and there I take the time and shave everything in that area including my ass. We both love it that way, but neither of us mind as long as it's not very long. I'm usually just too lazy to shave everything all the time lol. For her it's the exact same, 90% of the time trimmed close and occasionally shaved nice and smooth. I love shaving my partner. Given a choice, we both love a clean shave everywhere.

 

Yes, not is fun to do for each other. Have done that before but she seems a little repressed or closed up. She was in a rough relationship so I need to break that ice.
Some women don't like it because it grows back stubbly..
I have never been with a woman with hair down there so this is new to me. My last girlfriend had Laser or lasik? Forget what is is called. Before that, my girlfriend, waxed.

And sorry about the break her in comment. I didn't mean it that way at all! Sorry!
I am extremely sensitive to her needs and want her to enjoy herself. She was in an abusive relationship and is recently discovering her sexuality. I live pleasing her but she doesn't have much experience and I want her to be ultra comfortable and to feel safe in every way.
That's important with a partner.

We have been together 4 months and neither have done oral yet. She seems to shy away from that. I know she had a very selfish partner who was controlling. When I tell her that I love giving her pleasure and could do it all day, she seems a bit perplexed I think because of what she was used to.

 

You're great with communication and letting her know how you feel. But there is a point where she MAY feel pressured or uncomfortable if it's talked about too much. So watch that also. Many times, it's when they know your feelings and they're not pressured, that they end up making a move on you. Has caught me off guard many times over the years. Just remember she's as unique as you are. And due to the past, can be very uncomfortable with things. I've written about that on another post or 3 lol. My current wife was extremely uncomfortable with 3 things when I met her. First was having her Beautiful wet pussy eaten. Second and third was getting rimmed and anal. All due to bad partners in the past. All things I absolutely LOVE. But our love and happiness are what matters, sex is just a bonus to us (even though we fuck like rabbits). But over time we slowly gained trust and she realized that I wasn't like them. Out of the blue one day when we were all hot and horny she whispered in my ear "I bet you would love to taste my wet pussy" I said "only if you're comfortable" she says "then what are you waiting for, just be gentle"..That was just the beginning, now she can't wait for my tongue to make her cum and squirt over and over. Anal and rimming were almost the same. Now she loves everything. And it only gets better with time. We wish you the best!

 

She said she had a horrible experince with oral with a past partner and it had scared her away going forward but she wonders if she is missing out. For now it is too fresh and raw. She was in an emotional abusive relationships and I know he made her feel bad and belittled her.
I talked to my therapist and she did say that if this relationship isn't satisfying for me and if it is too much work, I should love on, but I want to be patient and give her the time whe needs since she has been thru. A lot and we have a good connection otherwise. I did tell her it's important for me that we both are fulfilled and open with what we want and like and that she should be free and comfortable to explore and express her sexuality. I want her to know I am nothing like that guy and she even said that maybe I can give her things she has never experienced.
A while ago she told me she doesn't need her clitoris touched because there isn't much feeling there. Then the other night again I noticed she rubs it against me during I tercourse and I brought it to her attention and she seemed shocked. She was like, really? Was I? I don't know if she does it without knowing or just can't talk about it.
I want her to experience everything she possibly can and to freely express her sexuality.
I think she could benefit from therapy. I know therapy has helped me get thru some serious things that happened in my life with parents and past partners. We talked a lot about how are past lovers heavily shape our sexual patterns and what we know.
She said she can get there, but it's taking time. She said I am so selfless compared to the guy she was with. She said she isn't used to her partner being a giver and pleaser.

 

I shave cock and sac. Trim all around the area with a beard trimmer. Since I have been doing this the women giving me oral sex like it. I also like that a condom doesn't get rolled down the shaft and into pubic hair. Only had one girl who had an issue with the close trim above my cock. She was bare and wouldn't let me sink into her all the way. Said it would scratch and hurt her vulva. She kept her legs closed enough to prevent us from "bumping uglies". Other than that I've had no complaints whether the pussy I'm fucking is bare or not.

 

She had so many issues from past relationships and I don't see it improving. She is so limited. I hate to think I will most likely break up with her.
We are just not on the same level when it comes to sex and she is very limited and limiting. I feel frustrated and restrained or held back sexually. It's frustrating to say the least.

 

I'm sorry to hear that but you may be right. It all may seem superficial, but good sex is an important part of a relationship, especially the early part. If you are not satisfied you may end up straying to seek what you crave and possibly hurt her in the process.

 

And even though we are both 49years old, birth control has been a disaster. She had breast cancer and a mastectomy, so she is limited in her birth control choices. She is looking into a UDI and I am researching a vasectomy. The pullout method isn't always that good. Condoms don't work well for us. No matter the brand, I never feel anything with a condom so it's a total disaster in that respect, and can't maintain an erectuon since I feel almost nothing.

 

Condoms do suck. Even magnums, takes away the pleasure.

 

I shave everything - base of cock, balls, around the base, creases of legs, and butt crack. I run a pro clipper thru my pubes so they're about 1/8" long. Nice, neat, smooth and clean. My wife likes things that way. She shaves too. She loves to 69 and things are just smooooooth that way!!

 

I shave my balls and trim my pubes but leave everything else.....

 

We're just starting to ramp our playtimes up again after a loooooooong dry spell - of several years. So If she likes smooth - smooth it is!!!!!

 

As you have stated your good woman was in a previous toxic relationship and for a very long time. This could have left a very deep mental scar which is preventing her from feeling relaxed .

All you can do is to talk to her with empathy and support her to find out if this is what is preventing her. She may never get over it.

If it isn't and she just doesn't feel confident then you can get books on giving and receiving oral. I have a couple myself and they are vey good at giving a person confidence in trying new things .

The books I have and can recommend them ;

Oral Sex She'll Never Forget by Sonia Borg
Oral Sex H'ell Never Forget by the same author

As a bonus both also contain sex surveys towards the back of the book that you can do on each other to establish new boundaries .