Open Relationships

The way you made it sound it your first post is very general. You can't put a cap on how much love there is in a relationship.

And based on your theory, i should love my youngest son less, because i loved my oldest son first. If you can love 10 children, can you not love multiple partners? You dont divide love up between your children, its the same idea, but on an intimate, romantic level.

 

I've had the chance to have an 'open' relationship but for me I don't feel comfortable being with others while involved with someone else.. Sure, it may be fun but I believe in some situations it brings more drama than it's worth.. While flirting can be fun, if I connect on all levels with someone I don't have too much desire to share myself with someone else..

 

I don't have too much desire to share myself with someone else..[/QUOTE]

Neither my wife nor myself "desire" to be with anyone other than ourselves. We are mad about each other, even after 7 years married.

BUT we dont deny the fact that we may one day have another in our lives, we already both love someone, the same person, but there isnt a want to have a third.

Just honest with each other that it can happen.

 

I am open to serving any couple who has an open relationship in which the man wants to please us both and be pleased. Any takers,lol!

 

I wasnt talking about you but I can see why you might think that ..but I was not speaking of blood .. children are entirely different ... when it comes to matters of intimacy -I wished my ex had felt about me the way you feel about her
etc ....

I dont know why I said that thing about wishing my ex felt that way... apparently I am still healing ...and it relfects how I look back and that is not good becuase it delays destiny.. what is before me is sooooo much better ..and I do hold that person in my heart as the only one ...that has not been my past but is my future as for an intimate relations goes .. its good to KNOW who your getting involved with first.. we see from afar and hold a similiar vision different than most .....becuase I know we me and Mr X are better match .. How do I know we will be together ...?....lol ... my secret ..
I am just waiting for the right time etc ...right now is a good time for personal development .. bonding with family and friends .. I dislike webs ...not to say that everything orthodox or unorthodox is a web ...its just what people make it when they are not ready or when its not for them..etc ..

 

hey sunshine =)

how are you.

 

smilez back -I am blessed .. how are you

 

doing great, wondering where my sunshine has been.

 

I was in an open relationship. Well, it became open after 2 years when we both started college (the same school). It killed our relationship. I think it's good for some, but I need monogomy

 

No offense, but I have noticed that many people here base their relationships on their "NEED". In other words--selfish desires only.

Monogamy is a choice, but the majority of the time it is based on FEAR (yeah I know everyone here in a monogamous relationship is the exception, right? Sure, ok ) and those who proclaim it so boldly and thrash any other kind of relationships are dependents who have to have security rather than true love.

Until society changes, this will not change. People think inside the box of conformity and they don't even REALIZE it. Hell, I do it unconsciously at times.

But it is all about comfort and what makes one secure and safe and comfortable, rather than experience, tolerance and confidence in oneself.

These people treat their partners as the PROPERTY and some even claim them as such "my man", "my chick", "mine", etc.etc...these people are not YOURS nor your property, but INDIVIDUAL people. They have chosen to be with you. They are people not property!

I see my partner as a person capable of making choices on her own without my collar and chain. Our trust and open honesty work much better than petty jealousy and selfish dependence of some of our friends' traditional-safe conform-box marriages.

Out of 6 of friends, only 2 couples are happy. Us and one of my partner's friends who have an almost asexual relationship. All the rest--traditional marriages--are either falling apart or so up each other's asses they couldn't be happy as themselves without the other one. These dependents would probably commit suicide if their partner left or died.

It is sad and stupid at the same time, in my opinion.

 

Everything is possible and yes some have preferences ..and they can change at any given time based on a variety merited siutations .. some people prefer to have just each other rather and they view it as valuing and finding all that they look for/to their satisfaction in that one person ...so they look to nothing else becuase they actually have it with that person..yet its normal to admire others...so I dont think all people look at it as being insecure .. or closed minded etc ...I think they place value in what they have and find it to be "enough" ...and as Heron said they are just honest that it "can" happen ..and that is true and honest and real .. I do know he values what he has in his life and that is so incrediable..it could be that different views are very misunderstood or conveyed in a way that doesnt come across as intended ... I mean how do you put into simple terms something so good or workable in your situation or relation..there may not be words that can accuratley express it as intended

 

monogamy

 

It's not easy to find one person that you are highly compatible with and desires you also.

 

Ive recently started dating someone who is polyamorous. Yes he has a girlfriend. Yes weve met (shes a sweetheart), we know were both dating the same guy, etc etc etc. A year ago I wouldve fled at the first thought of it, wouldve thought it was at errible thing to want.

But I wonder how much of msot peopels lean towards monogamy is from social conditioning, and how much is true to our personas. Personally I have no problem with any relationship in which everyone knows whats happening, everyone consents to whats happening, and no one is hurt from it (I mean beyond teh ups and downs that are normal to all relationships, to varying degrees). No, polyamory or an open relationship are not the right things for all people or even most people at this point... but if everyone involved is ok with it, I dont see the problem.

 

What a great thread!!! I have been looking for people who believe in this. I am just starting out i this direction. If you have read my other posts you would know what I have been going thru. My husband had an affair. Never would I have thought in a million years that I would be excited about it. At first I was crushed but I have grown so much. We have lived the saying if you can make it through this you can become stronger. We have and are so much in love. Everyone is right about communication and honesty. Very important. We talk about everything now. The affair wasn't about her being better or him looking for something else. What we have is awesome. He found another best friend. He loves both of us. He said that neither one is better only different. Actually this has made our marriage better. she can help him understand me. It's not complicated at all when you really let yourself be yourself. It is an awesome feeling.

 

However, (and I am not bragging I swear it), I've never had a girl who wanted another dude. Maybe that time has not come yet, but I feel that I should prepare myself by examining all the options.

Well if you had a threesome with her and another chick I would hope that her having two guys wouldn't be a problem for you and that you would have covered that BEFORE you had her and another chick. I think if we as Men are open to a threesome with two chicks we should be at least kool enough with our lover having two guys.
If not then it's really not as OPEN as we might say or think it is.
What's good for one person is also good for the other.
Yes-You should LOL be very open to that option-if not then your pretty much bullshit in what you wrote too.
My own experiences have been that the sex part is the easy part. What fucks it all up is when that extra person get's EMOTIONALLY involved with either the Female/Male/Or both of the threesome.
The attraction to me of adding that third person is more of a Human Sex Toy and a Tool and once it goes BEYOND you run into problems. It's hard enough having an Emotional Relationship with one person let alone two. But in some cases it works and yes it is just that WORK.
Also, many times the fantasy is way hotter then the real thing.
Great Thread BTW-Peace the Wiz
BTW Happy Fucking!

 

Oh so that's kool are you going to go have sex with another guy now?
I am SURE he will not mind-Right? LOL
So don't you think it will be EVEN KOOLER now if YOU have another Best Friend?
Then what you guys will have will even be MORE AWESOME!

 

Hey K-Don't worry you will be fine and it was his loss. Peace The Wiz

 

I am not sure how I feel on the subject. some random thoughts..

-its hard enough to meet one worth while person..but two or three? Granted most people have multiple "soul mates" out of the billions on this earth. But you only meet a few thousand people in your life. If you meet one soul mate, why risk the chances of ruining a GOOD monogamous relationship when most fail in the first place? If most monogamous relationships fail, what makes you think they all of a sudden, it will suceed in a polygmous setting? if you are not compadible, you simply ARE NOT no matter what.
-no matter how many people I would want to see, I would want them all to be worth while parts in my life and I would want to have an impact on there lifes. I don't want some shallow BS like Hugh Hefner has, where he pays ten blondes to be his girlfriend for three months. That just bloats your ego far to much and is so fake. People like him give polygmoy a bad name, not gonna lie.


my monogamous relationship has allowed me to feel freer and more open minded than ever before. Lets cut the BS that it restricts you. Polygomous relations are just as capable at making you close minded as monogamous.

sorry for spelling errors, late night at work and I am tired.

 

i dont want to get into it with anyone, but i feel STRONGLY against relationships involving more than two commited people. i honestly dont see why someone would allow or initiate a third party without being completely selfish.

and how does the partner feel? that he or she is not good enough, so thier partner needs to fill other voids with other people? it seems to me more like a self issue than needing 'different things from different people.'

it makes me sick.

sorry if ive offended anyone. i just think very lowly and even worthless of people who get involved in those relatioships and dont mind it.