Open Relationship With Bisexual Husband.

Heyyy. Sorry if I ramble . . . I'm kind of just thinking out loud.

So, my husband recently told me he is bisexual. He apparently got/gave a BJ or two before he met me, and he said he's only interested in BJ's (no anal, etc.). He said he's always found the idea of an open relationship interesting, but if we don't do it he'd be 100% fine with that. I'm just wondering if any other married couples have gone this route? How'd it go? I just want him to be happy, but I'm just confused. When someone you love tells you they want other people, it can hurt a bit and raises some self-doubt issues. I'm not opposed to the idea, but I guess how do you get over the jealousy?

Some additional info . . . I've obviously asked him a million questions. I asked why he doesn't want to try more then a BJ, and he said he's just not into anything else (he won't even do anal with me). I've asked him how strong his desires for guy contact was, and he said not very much. He says it's something he's interested in and would like to try out again, but it's not the end of the world if he can't. We talked about maybe trying a 3-way, but neither of us have done anything like that before. He had hinted at having a 3 way with another woman, so I asked him given the choice, which would he prefer. He said definitely woman . . . which confuses me more because I thought he really wanted some bi interaction. I've never done anything with a woman, but I'm not against the idea. I also asked him if he honestly is happy with me and doesn't just want an open relationship because he's not . . . and he said no he's totally happy and loves me.

 

my situation is kind of the same...

me and my fiancee are about to get married soon and he is by im gay.... well he hasnt outright said that he wants a woman as well as me... but when i gave him the option for an open relationship a week later he said he doesnt want to do it because of the fact that he wont be able to focus on both people... he has told me he has exchanged pics with his female friends... which i get hella jealous over.... so yea..... i dont knwo what to tell you darlin... wish i could help you

 

He doesn't want to get married to the other people. He just has a craving he would like to fulfill from time to time. Let him

 

One thing that might help clarify is to encourage him by saying you are interested in seeing him in a m2m scene. It was probably hard enough to come out and now he needs to know that your are not only supportive but find it fun. I've never come out to my wife and if I did that would be the response I would look for, but having known her for so long now and dropped hints she has never responded positively.

 

Theres so much about open relationships on the net. I think you'll find generally only the positives get highlighted but there are far more negatives than what makes the net. I've personally seen two marriages fall apart overnight when one mentioned it to the other.

 

My wife and I have been in an open relationship for the last 7 years. I'm bi but she is straight. Initially we payed with another guy for around and 5 months. She doesn't make mych use of the possibility for her....I do but only with guys - that is our arrangement. She is definitely my primary and we love each other, for me sex with guys is nust sex - no emotion, but for most women I think it is hard to separate sex from emotion. It's not plain-sailing and you must keep talking - after all it is a major relationship change. Not everyone will cope with it.

Good luck, Simon

 

My wife knew of my bi sexual desires when we started dating / fucking. She was married & in the middle of a divorce & we met at a party. I told her I like to suck cock occasionally & had a suck buddy. This intrigued her & we discussed both our likes of cock sucking.

 

A long term relationship should always go a lot deeper than sex and finding the balance can be quite difficult. I know guys who would not care who their wife slept with as long as the house was well kept, dinner was on the table on time and she had served the correct wine wine the starter. On the other hand, I know people who would live in a stable as long as the sex was good and always available. At the end of the day, it is all about what you want out of life, rather than just who sucks what and who puts it where..

 

If your a jealous an open marriage isn't for you!

 

Nothing wrong with that he is being honest and that's what it takes for a good marriage but then again there are several unanswered question and until there answered your marriage could fall apart!

 

My wife and I have had an open marriage for over 6 yrs..i am bi..she had a playmate for several years and so did I.we have mostly played separately and it was alot of fun..we don't deal with jealousy so overall it just added to the energy in our relationship..neither one of us has had a playmate for several years because we have had a tough time meeting people because we want to focus more on playing as a couple and we want friends first

 

Nothing wrong with playing as a couple but it's faster for each of you to go alone especially for the wife!

 

Yes it is!!

 

My lovely wife and I have never been monogamous. Friends are a regular part of our play. We are particular about our friends and have high standards for things like honesty, maturity and manners.

 

My wife and I have an open marriage. We are both bisexual but she has not fucked anybody else, male or female. I have had a couple of small encounters with a couple of guys in the last few years. Things definitely have evolved over the last few years. There was a time when she was jealous over a female coworker I told her I had a crush on. Nowadays if I tell her I have a coworker I would like to fuck she is delighted for me and hopes I get the opportunity. We have a very strong marriage and that is key. Nothing better than coming home to your wife and showing her a video of you sucking cock.

 

Your in a tight spot emotionally. If you care deeply for him then it goes without saying you want him to be happy. While at the same time it likely isn't very comforting to find out you are not all that your mate wants or needs. In fact the idea would make many feel like shit.

So what do you do? Communicate, communicate, communicate.

But taking alone isn't enough. Those discussions must be blatantly honest. He needs to be honest with you and himself about the underlying reasons he is asking so much from you.

Conversely you must be honest with yourself and your mate about how you feel about him getting/giving head from another man and what you can and cannot accept regarding that. Not the least of which is ground rules for hubby's playtime should you both move forward.

And in all this don't be afraid to be a bit selfish. Your conversation can also include what you expect in return should you decide he and your relationship are worth your granting his request.

One thing to consider..., he gets triple points for asking up front. Many guys just go forth with the wife none the wiser and well... it's not my place to judge.

This cannot be entirely about him or you. It should be about meeting a need within the relationship and how the relationship will benefit. If it puts him in a better place while enriching his appreciation, love and respect for you, and you feel better about you and him as a couple, the price is worth it.

Will feelings get hurt on the front side? Probably.

But in the end you will both know what is going on with the other and can make decisions together on the most important thing. You're relationship and its future.

 

If there is even a little jealousy a open marriage won't work! My wife has falling in love several times but she has never even give it a thought of leaving me!

 

I've always found that my own personal ideas about relationships don't concur with social constructs, (basically, what's socially acceptable), as that differs from time and place. Not being religious, I've found the traditional idea of marriage to be hypocritical to the teachings found within a religion's own doctrine, among other things. However, I respect my partner's decisions about our relationship. If they want to be monogamous, then I'll be monogamous. If they want an open relationship, then I'll have an open relationship. Your husband is being truthful and honest, and respects your decision, because he loves and respects you. If only everyone could be so lucky.

 

I have to say in reading your post I don’t feel he’s 100% open to telling you exactly how he feels. I think that if he was he would tell you that he hundred percent wants to suck cock and maybe get fucked. The interesting thing is is that he is probably 100% in love with you and this whole thing might just be something taboo that he’d like to incorporate into the relationship but he doesn’t know how to tell you that because he’s unsure that you will accept him. My wife knows I think about doing bi stuff, but she isn’t into it. She has said in the past that she would be willing to have a threesome and then when I want to play with him she would leave the room however that is not necessarily what I want I kind of enjoy the idea of sharing a cock with her. My suggestion is to find a guy you’re attracted to while you’re out and ask if you’d like to come back and play with you and see where it goes no harm no foul best wishes

 

Good Lord I wish my wife was into that she says that she’s not but she does indulge me and letters when I am out of town that lead me to think maybe she is more OK with it we’re growing OK with it but I would absolutely love to have a three-way with her and another guy